The Silverville Diaries: Professionalism & Friendship

When spending eight months working in one location with one group of people, well give or take a few changes, making sure you achieve the right work-friendship balance is important, not only for your contributors but for yourself as well.

Before moving into a retirement village where every resident is over 55, the majority being in their 70s, I have to say I didn’t think I would make any good friends, where we had any common interests. I have been surprised by the variety of people there and although we talk about different things to my friends and me, electronic drone music not being high up on their agenda, the conversations are still interesting and to be honest it is a privilege to have access to all this history. Obviously we don’t do the same things that I would normally do when socialising, expectations are different and nights not quite so late, but it is an insight into what you can and can’t do in later life.

Over 300 people live in Lovat Fields Retirement Village, so it is inevitable there are going to be some people that I get along with very well. The fact there are 300 people though throws up its own problems. In an enclosed space, such as this retirement village, word spreads very fast and this is something you are particularly aware of very quickly. This means you have to be very wary of what you say at all times, even after a pint or two. If you said anything out of turn about anyone, you can guarantee they will find out about it very soon. As we are filming observational documentaries you are never sure who might be involved in the stories, so you need to make sure everyone is onboard with the programme all the time.

When working and living with people, boundaries need to be set within yourself and it is important that these are rarely crossed. For example, people you know who have a disability might ask you to help lift them into bed and you need to be aware that by trying to help them you may cause them harm and in today’s litigation culture, face a lawsuit. Sometimes, as much as you want to help them, it is safer to call the carers who are trained in these things, no matter the contributor’s grievances about it just being put to bed.

Recently, I have faced a very tough situation with one of our contributors we have been filming for the whole period. Over the last few weeks he has started to deteriorate steadily. He was getting thinner, not eating and generally starting to appear more distant and vague. I would try and encourage him to eat and occasionally make him some food but obviously I still had a job to do so couldn’t sit and ‘nurse’ him all day. It is in these situations where it becomes tough, because you just want to look after them, but you still have your job to do.

The contributor in question has a history of cancer and had an appointment with a consultant. We wanted to film this, so, we filmed around the hospital visit and sat with him and waited while he had his appointment. On coming out he didn’t seem to understand what had been said to him and at this point I realised something was really not right, so upon returning to the village, asked them to look into a care package to keep an eye on him. I kept visiting through the week to check on him and he wasn’t getting any better, so at his next appointment the following week, I went with him again but this time, sat with him in the appointment so someone knew what was being said.

The news was not good at all so I got him home and into bed and relayed the information to the relevant people so further steps could be taken for his care. The other problem was that I was soon to move out of the village, so was genuinely worried about who would be looking out for him in our absence. At times like this it is hard to maintain a professional relationship where you don’t get too involved in interfering with people’s lives, but as a friend and a human being I had a duty of care to this person. Some things are more important than work.

As we have been approaching the end of our time here in Lovat Fields, we have needed to get people used to the fact that we were not going to be around as much as before. Over the last couple of months we have been a less visible presence in the village and this coupled with our repeatedly telling them that we will soon be departing eases the impact of our departure.

Withdrawing from these people’s lives does fill you with a sense of sadness and guilt, but it comes with the territory of the job, so it becomes something that happens once a year. I will still come back to visit a number of people in the village in my spare time, when I get a chance, not only out of duty but because I want to stay in touch with the people I have forged relationships with.

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