OU on the BBC: Nobody's Normal - Responses to Education, education, education

We have only to cast out minds back to our own schooldays to relive the crucial importance of our relationships, be they good or bad, with our peer group. The parsing of French verbs or the anatomy of the fruit fly were trivial in comparison to the gravity of the discussions of the previous night's episode of Dr Who, the anxiety of who was going to play on your five-a-side team or the intrigue of what exactly went on between Sharon and Darren behind the science block!

How powerfully this is conveyed in this programme through the experiences of Simeon and Sophie trying to decide about their future schooling; their main concerns are about having the support of friends around them. How difficult this can sometimes be, however, for children with severe disabilities, autism or behaviour problems when peer group acceptance or tolerance can be easily eroded and turn to isolation or rejection.

I was reminded of my friend Michael at school who had brittle-bone disease, was in a wheelchair and spend the majority of his life in one plaster or another. What anxiety we must have caused his parents as we tried to get his wheelchair to reach light speed, or when we took him on a sponsored walk and took turns to piggy-back him over stiles and rivers. Holding his hand to comfort him while another fracture was being immobilised or lifting him on and off the toilet at break time taught me more important things about life than Jane Austen or Boyle's law ever did!

I’m popular, the whole school’s my friend

We all grapple with difference. It throws a spanner in the works of our normal, moribund, certain, same, day to day cycles of life.

So, are we – society – ready for difference? No? Then the special school might be more accepting.

Are schools ready for disabled children? Yes? Then society must be inclusive.

Success stories of education present schools as testing, secure, safe, welcoming and accessible places. Crucially, education provides opportunities for learning but also – and perhaps more importantly – allows the development of relationships crucially associated with the best of friendships: belonging.

The film necessarily reminds us that we all need one another. We are never independent: we are interdependent, necessarily reliant on one another. To learn but also to live. The film raises the question: are we ready to live together?

Delightful young people, thoughtful parents, but a lost opportunity to look at the real issues behind the continual debate about where disabled children should be educated.

Viewers will have common prejudices confirmed i.e. "integration works best at primary school but disabled teenagers need to be with their own kind in order not to be isolated and to learn to be independent." The empowerment afforded by Direct Payments with young disabled people employing their own assistants to help them break free from dependence on their parents was not shown.

In my work to support families who believe inclusive education to be crucial for all children, and having seen their children come out the other end as ‘streetwise’ young adults, I know for certain that the outcomes of segregated schooling, however 'nice' it is, is totally different to the outcomes of inclusive education, however imperfect it is. This was not reflected, or even mentioned in the programme.

Those of us whose families were lured into the false promise of specialist colleges watch programmes like this with horror. Inclusion for any young person, is meaningless without peer relationships.

Whatever was happening at Sophie’s school leaving her alone in the break times, was the only real question to address. How do disabled and non-disabled people stay connected in a world still hell-bent on tearing us apart?