OU on the BBC: Silverville - Episode 2

know ken and Jan and unfortunately editing of this programme has portrayed Jan badly. Much of the editing out, i.e. where she says she visits Ken twice a week, the bit where she said the social worker suggested it was completely lost.
Jan sat by Kens bed every single day he was in hospital, and, when he was due to come out, I had a discussion with her, I asked her if she was sure she could manage Ken at home with her own illnesses (i wont go into them because i dont think they have been made known) and she replied, I have to try, hes my husband for better for worse and I love him, and, i have to try.
So Ken came home, very dependent on Jan to do everything, she was unable to get him out of the front door to take him out and so put pressure on authorities to help her get a ramp built at the back of the house. They live in a bungalow with a very long corridoor, the kitchen at one end, the room Ken was in at the other end of the hallway. Jan has back problems amongst other things and over the 3 years she looked after Ken tirelessly, his every need, he was awkward, he was of course frustrated a lot of the time having been a very active man before his stroke.
I watched Jan go down and down both in health and in spirit, till one day she had a bout of flu, but virtually crawled along the hallway to check Ken was ok, I think this was the turning point, it scared her, not only for her own health but for Ken too, what if she couldnt get to him one night? that was the time I think she made the decision that she could no longer care for him full time in their own home, he wasnt doing anything, just sitting and letting Jan run herself ragged, that said, Ken is a lovely lovely man too, and, I fully understand, he had almost given up.
Ken moved in to Lovat Fields (Silverville) and every single day without fail, Jan got a cab to the village to visit Ken to make sure he had enough of everything and was settled in, and knew she was there for him. Her health again suffered badly, all the time she was there , Ken still did nothing for himself, whereas people were telling her he could do it. This was at the point the social worker suggested she didnt need to go to see Ken every day, not only was the taxi fare crippling her finances but her physical health was badly suffering.
Jan then started to build a life for herself , slowly at first and occasionally going out, the night she went to the nightclub on the hen night was the first time she had been out in 20 years to a club.
she doesnt live the 'high life' as many people think , always talks about Ken when I see her, and , what very few people know is she works tirelessly in the community, belonging to a number of organisations and the residents association on the estate where she lives.
No matter what is going on in Jan's life, or how much pain she may be in, or how unwell she may feel she always has time for people, any of her friedns can knock on her door at any time, she will stop in the street jsut to give a cheery hello and support to anyone who may need it..
All in all, the people who dont know Jan for real have missed out in life , one hell of a lady !!!!

We dont know the extent of Jans situation and shouldnt judge but Jan was very open about her plans re; a new social ife and potential to find another man. Poor Ken, he was heart broken! Jan came across as being very heartless and extremely insensitive (and i doubt this was just the editing). Marriage is for better for worse, in sickness and in health (Ken even quoted that) how let down he must feel that his wife couldnt care less. As an ex carer it should be second nature to care and promote independence. He doesnt 'appear' to require all that much assistance anyway, especially as he's left to his own devices now. I'm sure he'd have been much happier to stay at home. We were saddened by this episode of Silverville and i know we wern't alone. I wish Ken all the best x

hello - according to last night's show and the next page of this episode guide, he has passed away... if that is the case, I'm very sorry to hear that, he seemed like a very sweet man (he had me in tears in both last nights and last week's episodes) I hope he is no more pain and no longer tied down by the body that nasty stroke left him with..
[Moderator: assuming you are talking about Ken...if you are referring to this page: http://www.open2.net/silverville/episode3.html it says "We were sorry to hear of the death of Keith Lethbridge shortly after filming of Silverville was completed" - not Ken]

i have to say, it was easy to pre-judge his wife, however, no one knows what it was like living as a full time carer and watching someone you love decline unless they have been in that situation, so i will just leave my best wishes for the residents, the staff the families and the makers of this thought provoking series.

finally, its very easy to cyber bully people, but its not big or clever and it should be stopped!

Ken is not dead and I dont know why people are saying he is, he is very much alive as I spoke to him today about all the things written on here today. So once again people Ken is not dead.

Having watched both episodes and became 'hooked' I also noticed the comment about Peter's death but was confused as to who it was, as I had recorded the program I was able to deduce who had passed away. And now I am confused once more with the coment from TonyHoult saying ...Just finished episode 2. I am upset to hear about the death of Ken.

Can you please confirm what has happened, I can understand if so many names can confuse people but you are supposedly 'bright University graduates'.
Come on dont confuse us any more than necessary...

I was not labeling Ken as having up & down emotions because of the stroke however I have known Ken for 19 years and know him extremely well and know how the stroke has affected him and his personality. Ken has lived in Lovatt fields for over a year now and is more than happy and settled & as I said earlier everyone feeling sorry for him & forming such oppinions is upsetting him not what was in the documentary which he has watched without getting upset.

My mum does not still do care work as she did her back in actually so your facts are wrong! she did mention the fact that she has nursing skills she said that in the documentary. So what if she went for a night out Ken is more than happy for her to have a social life he said on camera they have independant lives this also means that Ken goes places without his wife and to functions without his wife. As for his room being barely furnished how rude, he has all his photos of his family around him plus all the new furniture he picked for his apartment, he didnt want his trophys cluttering up his new place. The question my mum was asked about meeting someonelse was answered as maybe one day not that she would blatantly go off with someone else.

yes it did portray your mother in a very bad light and to see her off enjoying her life, going out drinking while ken was stuck in a barely furnished room with all his tropheys stuck in now her home sickend me.
I am not just another stranger viewing this without prior knowledge of the situation or the family as i know your mother and ken
I also know your mother used to care for the older generation as her job and still works with them and i noticed that wasn't mentioned once in the interview but what upset me the most and i am sure many others is that she blantently said in his presence that she would go if with another man if the right one came along.

I am Janet's daughter & Ken's stepdaughter, I have read all of the comments from people, people who do not know either my mum nor Ken, I can understand why some people have the opinons they do of my mum as I myself told her the documentary portrayed her in a very bad light. Just to clear some things up my mum and Ken were very happily married and Ken suffered a severe stroke & was hospitalised for nearlly 10 months everyday my mum sat by kens bedside, she then cared for him at home for 3 years. My mum is not in good health herself despite looking well, the pressure got too much for her but more importantly Ken got very used to having his wife do everything for him so he was not pushing himself to do more. my mum & Ken decided he should go in a home for her health and for Kens independance. The stroke Ken suffered affects him in different way it makes his emotions very up and down, when he thinks back to how he was before his stroke he gets very emotional, but most of the time he is very happy and spends most of his time in lovatt fields laughing & joking, this can be confirmed by most of the residents that Ken has made friends with. Also regarding how many times my mum visits Ken, she was always told by kens social worker that for Ken to settle in and to do more things for himself she would need to back off a bit, she visits Ken every week and every weekend and speaks to him every day and night. Ken hates people to think of him as poor Ken he is sickened by peoples comments about his wife and we all know he is much happier than he was and he is in a better place, he was not forced out of his home whatsoever Ken also agrees that it was made to look like that but was not the case. I hope on the next episode they show just how happy Ken really is. In response to the person that said RIP Ken he is not dead. Any more nasy comments should be kept to yourself unless you know the people you are talking about.

I love this programme and wish I could watch it every night. I'm very sad that there are more than me feel the way I do about Jan's behaviour towards Ken I had hoped I was being way too sentimental and had got it wrong. I thought she was heartless and I also thought that by dressing up her behaviour and inferring that she was coming from a nursing point of view I found disgusting and to tell Ken on national TV that she would be looking for a new partner in the future was simply nasty. I really don't care what happens to the storyline here nothing will change my mind about Jan - I really hope Ken finds happiness in his new life and makes lots of new friends and finds a woman who is happy to give time and love and take care of him. As for Jan's health problems, of which there were apparently many, it didn't stop her getting her glad rags on and boogying on down with her pals.

Also, Rose and Bert and Peter and Connie are the cutest couples ever!

Congrats to the programme makers for such a lovely bittersweet mix of stories proving that those over a certain age still have continued worth and interest-value. I completely agree on the subject of Jan's behaviour towards Ken - while no-one can judge others until they're in that position themselves and there's no doubt providing full-time care is a hugely difficult undertaking, Jan seemed to simply dump her poor husband as soon as their marriage took a challenging turn - not real love in my opinion and such a sweet man deserves so much better. She seemed to forget he was still a person capable of feeling - teling him she might meet someone else was utterly dreadful. I hope his kids are more attentive and less selfish than his mutton-dressed as lamb wife!!

I was disgusted in the way jan treated ken. My mother-in-law is 82 and she has looked after my father-in-law since he had his stroke about 12 years ago and he needs a lot more care than ken and she has managed and jan is 56 and can`t cope. I really could`nt believe what i was seeing or hearing. If she loved him that much why did she not move to the village with him and have carer`s come in and do what she could`nt COPE with. Jan should have a poster made for her saying " A HUSBAND IS NOT JUST FOR CHRISTMAS HE`S FOR LIFE.

I agree with all the above comments one way or another. What really bothered me was seeing a grown man with a tear in his eye... He must of felt his heart being torn apart. Bless Ken........

Sometimes I think we have to realise that every situation is different and shouldn't always judge people without knowing the full circumstances. Sometimes we can only live in people's shoes to really know what it is like. Lets see next week what happens in the rest of their story.

I was absolutely disgusted with the way in which Jan behaved towards her husband Ken, and please let's hope that Jan realizes that Ken is her HUSBAND. It was an absolute disgrace and showed to every viewer what her true colours are, and indeed they are extremely unpleasent colours.

I was watching this with my wife last night and we were shocked beyond beliefe at Jans attitude toward her husband Ken. She clearly wanted him out of the way, out of her life. We know that caring for a disabled person can be very demanding but why could Ken not have a part time carer at home to give Jan the respite she needs from being his full time carer? He clearly did not want to leave his wife or his home and his emotional state found me welling up more than once and I'm a bit of a hard man in my mid forties not prone to shedding a tear. Jan dropped him off and could not wait, it seemed, to get away and he was left sitting there alone and discarded. The next morning the first thing he said was he felt lonely after his first night away from his home and wife and for Jan to sit there and to talk about meeting someone else, especially in front of Ken, was something I found distressing. This obviously proud man clearly still has his mental faculties and his feelings. He loves his wife and was clearly shocked and hurt to hear her make that remark. As I write this now I'm welling up again thinking about Ken and the way he has been discarded. The fact that Jan even thinks in this way defies belief. I hope that Ken does continue to build up his independence and in the process discover that he is more capable than what he is given credit for. In turn I hope Jan comes to realise that marriage is a total commitment and that perhaps she has made a mistake in letting Ken go and will have a more indepenent Ken back home with support from an outside carer. In sickness and in health.

I cannot believe how selfish Jan is, my heart was breaking for her husband..why would you want your husband to live away from you???? I think Ken deserves better and I hope he finds some happiness in his life, but not with Jan! I hope Jan ends up sad and lonely..she deserves it!

I watched this for the first time last night and was disgusted by the behaviour of Jan. I would understand if she genuinely couldn't look after Ken but as soon as she'd shipped him off she was out partying and then told him that although she'd always love him, she hoped to meet someone else.

How can she be so heartless and callous, Ken was obviously distraught. The poor guy had been through enough and here she was forcing him out of his own home and telling him she wanted to meet someone else.

So much for 'in sickness and in health'.

Does Jan seriously think any man with half a brain is going to want to be with her after that behaviour, she doesnt deserve a loving husband! What goes around will always come around, she'll end up a flee in her next life!!

I watched the programme last night and I have been telling my colleagues about the deporable actions of Jan. She told her husband often enough that she loved him but and then to carry on like she has - dolling herself up and having nights out whilst kicking her husband out of his own home and leave him in a retirement home, is an absolute disgrace. For better for worse, sickness and in health - does this sound familiar Jan??? Jan reckoned she couldn't cope for her own health problems - she doesn't let these hold her back from enjoying herself though.

Watching poor Ken trying to settle in and then have the bombshell dropped that Jan might meet someone else broke my heart. You are far better away from her Ken - she could never have loved you in the first place to treat you like this. Jan is spiteful, self centred and only loves herself. I hope you settle in soon Ken, make new friends and start to really enjoy yourself xx

to me & my wifes surprise we are enjoying this program, im 42 my wife is 52, & we have a very caring marriage & joke around that the fact that she is older & my well in later life need more care than me. after watching last nights episode we were both speechless & our jaws were on the floor, at the callousness of JAN..!!!! a more selfish & cold display of human nature iv not seen in many years.

ken m8 get out of the marriage if you can, i doubt you need this kind of treatment. jan has shown her true colors & im sure her family are as shocked at her behaviour as the rest of the viewers.

I have just watched episode 2 and I too am fuming with Jan. I appreciate how frustrating and difficult it must be to have your husband effectively taken away as my Dad had a severe stroke and my Mum looked after him for some years before he died. I also appreciate that some of Jan's apparent heartlessness may be down to the clever editing of this programme, however I think she is not a good person. If you marry it should be in sickness and in health, not visit when you're not too busy and when you can be bothered. And to sit there and talk about not if you're going to meet another man, but when, is quite unforgiveable. I sincerely hope Ken's life improves beyond all recognition in the 'village' as he deserves so much happiness to be bestowed upon him after having to put up with Jan's frankly selfish behaviour!

Just watched episode 2 and felt so sorry for Ken. I felt it was totally inappropiate for Jan to tell him on camera that she might meet someone else but she would always love him!!! Could the carers that now look after him not have done that at home...also she could have encouraged him to be more independent, once again at home. This poor man has literally been abandoned to a very lonely life in Silverville......

I have just watched this episode of Silverville and watching Ken has absolutely broken my heart. That poor man, I was in floods of tears watching him cry, I cannot believe that that heartless wife of his can be so selfish and be so concerned with her own needs that she can sit and watch her husband cry, and yet still talk about how she might one day meet someone else! I am outraged - what happened to 'in sickness and in health'?? I feel hateful towards this awful, selfish woman and I feel so unbearably sorry for poor lovely Ken. I hope he's learning to find some happiness in there, although somehow I doubt it. :o(

I have just watched Silverville for the very first time and don't think I have a strong enough heart to watch another episode. Both me and my husband (both early 40s) watched in horror as Jan forced her poor vulnerable husband to leave their family home against his will, without the slightest hint of a guilty conscience. We continued to watch in disbelief as she decided to reduce the number of times she visited him and rounded off his obvious distress by telling him she wouldn't mind finding someone new. Heartbreaking viewing in our opinion. A selfish selfish woman!

I am still thinking about this terrible womans behaviour, I wish there was a law against people like this she should be locked up!!

I felt poor old Ken was being forced out of Jan's life. She said she needed to take this action because of her own failing health the next thing she's out clubing!!! In sickness and in health didn't enter her selfish head for one second, I pity husband number 3 !!! Good Luck Ken.

I have just watched the episode 2 (by accident) and felt i needed to see if any one else felt sick re kens pridicament. I undertand Jan wanted or needed a break but the haertless way she dealt with ken for her own needs. I am married and 36 and and it shows me that you come in on your own and go out on your own so much for vows of marriage sickness and health mean nothing. Ken i dont know if you were a good man or a good husband only you know this but please get whats yours if your due any and get on living with your life you could be around for a long while yet. jan had obviously decieded the same a while ago.

I have just set up an account so that I can express my feelings of absolute disgust regarding episode 2, whilst Silverville looks like a lovely place for older people to enjoy their retirement I have never ever witnessed such a disgusting excuse for a woman in my whole life as Jan. I hope that she is as disgusted with herself as I am. Ken- I hope that you do not allow this woman to break your heart more than she already has what a terrible terrible woman!!

I don't ever write on forums but tonight after viewing this episode I feel so strongly and disgusted knowing there are people like Jan!! My dad died of cancer and because my mum loved him dearly, I know that had he lived longer she would have cared for him for the rest of her life and not shoved him into a home so she could go out and enjoy HER life, because she married him for life! Too many people these days forget what their vows mean. I hope when this god awful woman watches this show back she is very ashamed of herself! My thoughts are with you Ken and what goes around comes around and she'll pay her price!!

What a surprisingly interesting programme. The personal experience of a friend suggests that on these 'real life' programmes, the producers portray situations to suit themselves, as indicated by the post by Rta Styles. It was, however, concerning to see the apparent abandonment of Ken by Jan. The write up says that Jan is experiencing declining health but seems quite happy to be planning a future without her hubby (whilst wearing high heals) and seems quite happy to discuss this 'advancement' with her husband, to his obvious distress. Seeing Ken's obvious unhappiness with the situation was very moving and one can't help but feel that Jan's actions are deplorable. Or maybe it's just the way it's being portrayed on TV.

Just finished episode 2. I am upset to hear about the death of Ken. I am even more upset just watching the episode. Jan clearly did not make it clear to ken the relationship they had. From the start I sensed she had no compassion for him. It seemed he was being lead on, keeping strong by his love for this woman. Yet in her mind, she thought differently. I found it so upsetting in the last scene when she tried to comfort him: "There may be one day, not now, I'm talking about the future, I may find someone". The poor man was distraught. Rest in peace Ken.

Just watched Episode 2, that Jan should be ashamed of herself. Talk about heartless. Poor Ken should tell her where to go.

I am Bert (notice correct spelling!) Styles' daughter in law. I have noticed some mistakes on your episode 2 page(which my husband and I appear in as well as Bert & Rosie).

Bert (this is short for Albert) NOT Burt as you have spelt it. He has 3 sons not 5!! His youngest son Rod (my husband) and I live in France and he visits us yearly. Bert visits his 3 nieces and 1 nephew in Australia. His other two sons Roy and Ray, live in Milton Keynes.

Rosie, Bert's lady friend, is 77 NOT 89!

Please correct these errors.

Regards

Rita Styles

[Moderator: please accept our apologies, we have corrected the information on our web pages and have alerted the production team]