Transcript
Matthew Dicken
Hi. My name is Doctor Matthew Dicken. I’m a teacher first and foremost, but also a specialist in personal and professional development and personality assessment. As part of my research into mentoring and coaching as effective methods of developing school based staff. I’ve completed a series of in-depth action research projects and published a few books on the principles that underpin co-development and mentor mentee relationships. We’re all different. We all have different abilities, we all have different skills. How can we celebrate those differences? How can we develop our weaknesses? As human beings we are constantly developing. There’s nothing we can do to stop this. We are constantly changing and we are constantly growing. However, we do not always realize that we’re on this journey of change. But as a school based staff and students in initial teacher training, we can be so caught up in the day-to-day busyness and the day-to-day necessities of our work that we do not take enough time to adequately reflect upon the direction of our development. And this is where you and I as mentors come into the equation. We are called to be supportive colleagues who build up a relationship to facilitate and challenge the direction and pace of development of an individual. You see the key word there is relationship. Relationship. Effective mentoring is built on the solid foundation of an encouraging relationship. One of my favorite authors Maya Angelou was a prolific writer and understood to the very core of her being, that people matter. She said these outstanding words, I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. But surely you say mentoring is about guiding an individual and telling them the right things that need to be done. Well, in a way it is. It’s about having those quality conversations and those really hard conversations. But more than that, it’s about empowering an individual to reach their goals and potential. It’s about sharing in the good times as well as the bad. And most of all, it’s about being present and available. Not just saying that we’re present and available, it’s about actually being present, listening, and guiding an individual to excellence. It is perfectly natural that there would be a range of emotions and experiences during the course of the process. However, our job as mentors is to advocate for the creation of a safe space so that honest conversations can be held. It is about the creation of an atmosphere of psychological safety that precedes development. Negativity and mistakes should be seen as learning opportunities so that the mentee can secure a future success in pursuit of personal and professional development. Our attitudes and behaviours are key to the success of our goals. Building upon the foundation of positive relationship, we build with a set of key values and principles that facilitate development. Upon the building blocks, successful partnerships are built and developed. These building blocks are a shared set of values and principles that are applicable to both a mentor and mentee. Adoption of all 12 principles allow for constructive dialogue, active participation, respect, and the intentional achieving of goals. The first of these building blocks is that of accountability and responsibility. It is the role of both a mentor and mentee to keep each other accountable for the roles and responsibilities that are undertaken. This is as the OECD says mutual accountability. And when we have this mutual accountability in place, we build commitment and diligence. Have you ever been in a team where there’s just one individual who doesn’t pull their weight? I’m sure we all have. And the next question is this, have we ever lost respect for a leader because their commitment and diligence just isn’t there? Again, I’m sure we all have. Abraham Lincoln said, commitment is what transforms a promise into a reality. As a mentor, your commitment to another success will mark you out as an effective leader. It’s about valuing someone else and in a way it’s about servant leadership.
But none of this can happen without the third of our building blocks is the block of effective communication and cooperation. Formal discussion and casual talking is key to the success of a mentoring framework. Both parties must seek to keep the channels of communication open and work out differences if they occur. Lack of communication ruins everything because instead of knowing how the other person is feeling and developing, we just assume. This means that it’s about healthy balance between active listening and talking. Psychologists tell us that when we are not listened to by a mentor whom we respect and aim to be like, the reaction in our brain is similar to that of physical pain. This communication and cooperation means that we are continually developing the fourth block, understanding and relationship building. As the mentor mentee get to know each other better, it’s important that they demonstrate an interest in one another and attempt to understand each other with empathy. I’m a firm believer that if we could truly understand each other, the unique challenges of faces each of us would come to the surface and create transparency and an atmosphere of professional critical friendship. This does not mean for one minute that we are weak as mentors when we take into account another’s feelings. It actually means we are strong and firm and guide with compassion and understanding for the best of the individual even when that means having to disagree with clarity or share bad news. This transparency and understanding leads to trust and honesty which is our fifth building block. It is a safe space that you have built with your mentee in which openness, positivity, constructive criticism can be shared. We all know that sometimes the truth hurts. And I heard it put like this by a minister of religion she said, truth is like surgery, it hurts but it cures. Skirting around truth is like a paracetamol tablet, it gives temporary relief but doesn’t get to the root cause of the issue. Encouragement is one of the key tools in your toolkit. Encouragement and feedback, our sixth building block is characterized by the phrase, effective balance. It is a balance between praising the good and teasing out areas of possible weakness and development. It is the role of the mentee to receive feedback positively and then with independence act upon the plan for improvement and development. Effective mentoring is allowing the mentee to think for themselves and the role of the mentor is not to be overbearing and too directive in their approach. This will not develop effective teachers, just one to wherever dependent on others to think. There’s thousands of jokes about light bulbs and change, and I’m sure you could run off a few right now. But if we were developing thinking people, thinking teachers of the future, mentors and our models and champions of innovation and the willingness to change. This is our 1/8 building block. It is the role of both mentee and mentor to think about new directions and new ideas. In some sense, code learning and co-development is essential here. And mentor is not one who knows everything. If that was the case, none of us would be good enough to mentor.
I say this because when I mentor individuals, I’m open to learning. Open to change myself and open to develop. Excellence and integrity come as a result, a ninth building block. When a mentor is guiding an individual, but also co learning and co-developing we model good practice and show our striving as we show our high expectations. As people who always want the best for the pupils in our care are students, are children. Our high expectations becomes part of who we are. The building block of motivation driving force is key and requires both a mentor and mentee to remain focused and intentional in their thinking and actions. It is the role of the mentor to help encourage motivation and to be consistent in their support. Effective code planning and prioritization on this intentional journey is key because the fruits of success grow from the roots of our motivation. The danger with motivation to get up and go on with the doing is that the reflection and evaluation becomes neglected. And this is another building block. It is both people’s roles to take time to reflect and intentionally think about the ideas that come out of discussion. Encouraging self-reflection and self evaluation is one of the most precious gifts we can give to our mentees. Our last building block, for effective mentoring, relationships brings us full circle to where we began. It is the building block of tolerance and respect. Each of us has different thoughts and beliefs as such is the role of both mentor and mentee to value each other’s opinions and perspectives. Chances are that you’ve been asked to engage in mentoring relationships, because you are a person who values the culture of your school as a staff learning development environment. As a mentor, you’re called to fulfill exactly what Michelle Obama said in a rousing speech some years ago. When you’ve worked hard and done well and walked to that doorway of opportunity, you do not slam it behind you reach back and you give other folks the same chances that helped you succeed.