Transcript

ELLIS

You can think of conflict in terms of neuroscience and parts of the brain.

You can also talk about conflict in terms of the ideas and agendas at stake.

But perhaps a useful starting point is how it feels – in your body – because those sensations are very immediate and powerful. Humans may be a smart animal, but we are still an animal, and some of our responses aren’t really a choice.

When you ask children and young people what happens in your body when you get angry or fall out with a friend, they can explain in terms of the physical effects of those feelings.

So, when you get angry you might clench your fists. You might frown and clench your jaw. Your whole body may be stiff. Children and young people talk about feeling hot, feeling sick, sometimes. They describe being hyper alert about their surroundings. They might notice their heart is beating fast, or that they are holding their breath.

Children and young people, and everybody, can reflect on times when we might have had those feelings. How often does it happen? What was happening at the time? Or just before it started? How long did it last?

This can help gain consciousness about how you feel in conflict situations so you can notice when it’s happening.

From that self-awareness, people can start to think about the strategies for regulating themselves when they feel this way.