Transcript
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This is one person’s story of how adverse childhood experiences affected their life.
NARRATOR
My parents don't understand all the drinking and fighting means I'm scared. I'd like a cuddle, perhaps a bedtime story. But mostly, I'd like them to stop shouting at me. And sometimes they hit me. Feeling scared every day and not feeling loved or wanted will change me for the rest of my life.
Later, I'll have problems at school, problems with alcohol, and I'll get in trouble with the police. What's happening to me right now means I'm more likely to have serious health problems in middle age and die sooner than I should.
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Adverse Childhood Experiences are traumatic events that can have negative, lasting effects on health and behaviour.
ACEs including being physically, emotionally or sexually abused as a child and growing up in a house with domestic violence, mental illness, alcohol and drug abuse or criminal problems.
NARRATOR
Doctors say my life is full of adverse childhood experiences or ACEs. But in my world, this means I see my dad hitting my mum. Dad's got a drinking problem, and mum's always crying even with the tablets. I am always being shouted at and hit. After the booze and fags, there's not a lot of money for toys or clothes or even food. I'm getting used to being scared all the time. Now I'm just angry.
Doctors say things are changing inside me. My brain isn't learning how to control my feelings properly. My body can't relax like those kids who don't have ACEs. So my body won't be able to repair itself properly when I get older. Making it more likely I'll get cancer or heart disease as an adult. It hurts when my parents hit me. But the real damage is hidden, and that damage will be with me for life.
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Children who have abusive or otherwise stress-filled childhoods are more likely to develop heart disease, diabetes, cancer and other health and social problems throughout their adult life.
How I coped with ACEs as a teenager.
NARRATOR
I drink and smoke. They say I'm out a control but I'm not. It's just my way of coping with my ACEs. I've been in plenty of fights but what's wrong with that. Kids punches don't hurt half as much as when my dad hits me. I beat up a kid last week at school because he looked at me weird. Who cares?
I ended up with more time out at school. Learning is not for me anyway and the teachers don't care anymore than my parents. I don't like the way anyone looks at me except my girl. She's 16 and pregnant just like my mum was with me.
So this is where I've ended up. I've got diabetes and cancer is probably on the way. I know these kill you, but I couldn't do without them. I've never had a proper job, and I've spent time inside. I hit my kids. I hit their mum too until she left so my kids have grown up with ACEs.
And now, my daughter had her first kid. She's 16. The course of my life was set in the wrong direction a long time ago. I know where I'm heading and sadly, I know where my kids are heading too.
This doesn't have to happen. A little help in childhood makes a big difference to where life takes you. When I was a baby, the nurses noticed that my mum wasn't coping, and helped her and explained how important my childhood is to the rest of my life. So with a bit of help, she coped.
The police came around after next door complained about the noise from mum and dad fighting. They asked how I was feeling. I told them I was scared all the time. Mum and dad got help. The shouting got better and the hitting stopped. I even got some bedtime stories. I still had problems at school, but the teacher asked me about what was happening at home. I got help controlling my feelings. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough.
I'm now married with two children. And I've got a job, most of the time. I haven't repeated the same problems with my kids. We got help when being a parent got too much. Our children are ACE free, and that means their kids stand a good chance of growing up ACE free as well.
Almost half the people in England and Wales experience one ACE as a child. And one in 10 of us suffered four or more ACEs. If we stop ACEs, millions of children would not become smokers or binge drinkers. And levels of violence in adults would be cut in half.
Fewer ACEs in childhood also means fewer adults developing diseases like cancer, heart disease, and diabetes in middle age. We all need to be ACE aware. Are you? Doctors, police, nurses, teachers, firefighters, and most importantly parents. The more you know about ACEs, the more you can help stop children growing up with ACEs in their lives. And for those of you who have already suffered ACEs, the more you know, the more you can help yourself, and others who have suffered ACEs cope.