Transcript
MARGARET
You're interfering when you come and you says, has he done so-and-so? Or, where is his clothes? Why is his clothes so-and-so? You're interfering.
Because he doesn't have a voice. Well, I personally feel that I'm his voice. Well, they probably think I'm an overprotective person. Maybe. Maybe they think I'm overprotective.
Right now, I'm talking to you now and I'm thinking about him now. Today is Saturday. Maybe they have taken him swimming. Yeah, maybe. If not, he's probably in his room there.
MAUREEN
Family carers have had to be tough. They've had to develop a persona that says, no, that's not good enough, maybe force them to be ways that they wouldn't naturally be. But they've not had an option because you know being quiet and passive won't get what your son or daughter needs.
NORMAN
We're Jean and Norman Wilson, parents of Tara and Victoria. Victoria is severely disabled. We are London working class. Jean?
JEAN
No, I agree with that.
JEAN
After a series of places where it didn't work well, we decided she should live in our own home. She has a team of workers-- mostly young women, a couple of young men-- handpicked by the service provider, which is Centre 404, who we trust. And she's lived there safely and happily for 22 years.
We know with Victoria's house, she and her fellow co-tenant, they are the most important people. And everything else works out from them. And also that we are involved as equal partners, really, as part of her team. And that's taken us a long time and a lot of tears, anguish-- and there have been rewards as well-- to get it that way.
NORMAN
My memory of everything that's happened over the last 40 years is, at times, patchy. A lot of it is gone completely because things were so horrific that I think-- in those circumstances, you do tend to blank out. We've had everything and everybody, people that have been very good and people that you wouldn't trust with your cat.
JEAN
Where Victoria used to live in the past, we weren't part of her life. She was part of an institution. We could only go in on their terms. And I used to come away and that's when the heartache and the impotence is there. And I know for parents who don't and can't say anything, it really damages their health.