Transcript
ROSEMARY RANDALL
And the first of the tasks that he talks about is the need to accept the reality of the loss. And this is the one which a lot of people stumble at because if you don’t really face the loss, where you go to is that form of denial that psychotherapists call disavowal, where you just hold it in a box in your mind, and you don’t visit it very often, unless somebody forces you to.
The second stage which Worden talks about, is to work through the painful emotions, the really awful things which you feel, the fear, the sorrow, the grief. And you have a great need to talk but only at the moments when it feels right to you. And you’re in tremendous need of those around you, coming around you in a kind of circle of support and being able to tolerate the fact that sometimes you’re angry. Sometimes you’re sad. Sometimes you want to talk about this. Sometimes you don’t. And this is very important. And this is a stage where the support of those around you is crucial.
The third task which Worden describes is that of adjusting to the new reality, of actually saying, OK, so what is my life going to be like now that Dad is dead? What is my life going to be like now that I know that climate change means that I can’t take those holidays I always used to take? Well, it means that I’ve really got to take political actions that don’t come easily to me, or that I’ve got to become part of a campaign, and I hate going to meetings. What’s my identity now?
If you don’t grapple with this task, Worden describes people, in a sense, turning away from life, becoming bitter, and becoming very withdrawn. And this is the point where I think we sometimes see people becoming very depressed. And we see this in relation to climate change-- people feeling hopeless, feeling that they can’t do anything about it, feeling despairing, shutting off.
And finally, Worden talks about the capacity to reinvest emotional energy. This is the last task he talks about. And this, I think, in relation to climate change, is the point at which you start to feel comfortable with the actions that you want to take about climate change whatever they are, whatever it is that you have decided that you’re going to do, this is the point where you maybe know that you’re not going to be the saviour. You’re not necessarily going to be the hero. But you’re going to be able to make a life for yourself with this new reality.