Transcript

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[TEXT ON SCREEN

Introduction]

ANITA

I’m Anita. And two weeks before my 70th birthday, I was diagnosed with motor neuron disease. I always thought I was going to be that old lady of 100 that you always read about in the paper that’s parachuting out of a plane. That was my idea of myself.

[TEXT ON SCREEN

Coping Mechanisms – Being Positive]

My life isn’t about motor neuron disease.

INTERVIEWER

What’s it about?

ANITA

It’s about going out and having fun.

[LAUGHING]

INTERVIEWER

Good for you.

ANITA

That’s what it’s always been about. You know, as best as I can, without hurting anybody, I just want to live every minute of my life to its utmost.

INTERVIEWER

Is there anything about knowing that you’ve got a limited amount of time left that you think is a positive?

ANITA

Oh, there’s lots of positives.

[LAUGHS]

That means I can make plans for my end, that I can sort all my affairs out. I know that it’s going to happen.

You never know how you’re going to end up when you live alone. If I’d have lived to be 100, how would I have, what would have happened? I haven’t got that uncertainty now. I know I’m not going to. So I don’t have to worry about that.

INTERVIEWER

Is that quite a relief?

ANITA

Yes, absolutely, completely relief. It’s the quality of life that’s important, not the length of time you live. Obviously, we all want to live a wonderful, long life, full of quality for a long time. But if that’s taken away from you, if the length of time is taken away, you’ve absolutely got to make sure you’ve got the quality every day.

[TEXT ON SCREEN

Aloneness]

I’ve been alone now for seven years. So I suppose I’ve got used to it. I miss not having my husband here. We had each other to discuss problems. And so you’re on your own. You’ve got nobody to talk to about things. And you’ve got to make the decisions yourself. And that, I find hard.

I’m not worried about dying at all. That doesn’t bother me. We’ve all got to go. What I want to know is that I’m going to die with some sort of dignity. I would preferably like to choose when and how I die.

I’ve decided that I don’t want to see this disease through to the end, because it’s particularly horrible. In my opinion, it’s worse than cancer. Because my brain will remain as it is, while my body completely gives up in every way. And I will just be a blob in a bed, and I don’t want to be that.

Unfortunately, I cannot take an easy way out in this country, because it is against the law at present. So I am forced to look at other options.

INTERVIEWER

What have you decided then?

ANITA

I’ve decided that when the time comes, I will go to Switzerland. I don’t want to go, and I will have to go too early because I need to be fit enough to travel. But I haven’t got, I don’t see any other option. I really don’t see any other option. But I’m not happy about it.

INTERVIEWER

You’re not a rich woman, are you?

ANITA

No.

INTERVIEWER

So how have you managed to afford it?

ANITA

It’s taking every last penny. It will take every last penny I’ve got. My children are grown up. They’ve got families of their own. They’ve got lives of their own. They don’t need me. And I live on my own, and I’ve got not even any pets. So I feel sort of free to go. And I think those people that don’t go, don’t go because of the other person, or the children, or whatever keeps them there. There’s nothing to keep me here now.

So I don’t want my children to be upset. I want them to remember me as a person who enjoyed life, had a good time, and lived every minute of it. And then they’ll have happy memories hopefully. I hope they will.

[LAUGHS]

INTERVIEWER

Do you feel brave?

ANITA

No, not really. I’ve never felt brave. I just, no. It’s not hard. It’s not a hard thing I’m going to do. In fact, it’s harder for the people, for other people than it is for me. I’ve got the easy part.

INTERVIEWER

Why do you think it’s easy?

ANITA

All I’ve got to do is go on another trip, another airplane ride, drink a drink, off I go, wonderful. That is how we all want to go, isn’t it?