# Transcript

Lakshmi
It was strange but I didn’t feel that shocked when my mother died; since her diagnosis six months ago we had all seen it coming. The Macmillan nurses were brilliant and helped us face reality with courage. My mother’s faith helped us both too. It was also touching that the neighbours and everyone at the temple were so supportive. It was comfort to me to know that my mother would be missed by other people in the community.
What was a shock to me was how I felt when I went back to work after my two weeks compassionate leave; my memory of the last six months were all black and white, as if the colour had been washed out of the world. I have always loved work – the feeling I could ‘make a difference’ helped me to get out of bed in the morning. I have found my work cathartic too, and it was a comfort to immerse myself in work during my mother’s final months. But when I got back to work everything was just so exhausting. I didn’t know what was going on – I began to fall behind not long after starting back and never seemed to have the energy to catch up again. When more work came I began to feel overwhelmed. Normally, I would have gone to Angelique right away but I just didn’t feeling normal and she didn’t want to be seen as a failure at work.