2.1 Focusing on empathy
A key component of building rapport and trust is empathy. Watch this video by Brené Brown, which clearly explains the difference between empathy and sympathy.
While the majority of professional coaches will be empathetic people, coaches and mentors in the workplace might not necessarily have that skill. Are you empathetic? You might think that you can’t develop empathy if it doesn’t come naturally to you, but you can!
The Mind Tools content team (no date) have put together a useful check list to help you practise:
- Put aside your viewpoint and try to see things from the other person’s point of view. They probably aren’t being unkind, stubborn or unreasonable, they are just reacting to a situation with the knowledge they have.
- Validate the other person’s perspective. Once you ‘see’ why others believe what they believe, acknowledge it. You can accept that people have different opinions from your own, and that they may have good reason to hold those opinions.
- Examine your attitude. Are you more concerned with getting your way, winning or being right? Or, is your priority to find a solution, build relationships and accept others? Without an open mind and attitude, you probably won’t have enough room for empathy.
- Listen to the entire message that the other person is trying to communicate. What tone of voice is being used? What is the person doing with his or her body while speaking? What do you think the other person feels?
- Ask what the other person would do. When in doubt, ask the person to explain his or her position.
While it isn’t your responsibility as the mentee or coachee to build this rapport and trust, you certainly play a key part in it. By understanding some of the ways in which mentors or coaches work to develop the relationship, you can play your part more effectively.
An understanding of these skills and techniques will also be beneficial in any of your own interactions with other people, both at work or in general life.
In the next section, you’ll look in more detail at listening and questioning skills.