Transcript
REBECCA FIELDING
I think one of the things that I see in people who are highly resilient are those people who are able to not only recognise when something's gone wrong but learn from it and, critically, what I always call the third stage of this process, which is, then let it go. They're able to move on from it. And those people who have high resilience are able to continuously and constantly try new things.
They're not afraid of failing, if it's new. They accept that that's a perfectly normal part of trying to do something for the first time or trying to do something new that nobody's ever done. It's perfectly normal to not do that perfectly the first time. A, they go into it accepting that. B, they're then fully willing to learn from their inevitable mistakes. But, C, the big bit, which most people don't do but highly resilient people do do, is to forgive themselves, learn from it, move on.
And it's the letting it go and the moving on, having taken something from it that, I think, most people really struggle with. A lot of us, I think, beat ourselves up for a long, long time. Highly resilient people have that thing that Soccer AM call “bouncebackability.”
In terms of developing your own resilience, I think one of the most important things that you can do is to give yourself the opportunity to reflect, and to learn, and to be very aware of your own self-talk. So, what are the things that you're telling yourself about your abilities, about your experience, and about your confidence, as you enter into new situations and new scenarios?
Are you telling yourself, I'm feeling good about this, I'm going to give it my best shot, and I believe I can do this? Although there might be things that go wrong, I'll learn from them. Alternatively are you going to those new experiences telling yourself, I don't deserve to be here, I'm going to be found out, and I'm going to fail. And if you are telling yourself those things, they become self-fulfilling beliefs.
And, for me, one of the most important things you can do for yourself is to notice and be cognizant of the stories that you're telling yourself, and to start to, you can't necessarily change them straight away, but start to recognise how that impacts your choices and your approaches to the challenges in front of you. And, if you can, start to change some of those stories.
So, sitting and reflecting, at the end of every day, as I drive home, I ask myself, what did I do well, what didn't go so well today, what can I learn, and how can I be better tomorrow? So, from a personal-development perspective, I think that's one of the most powerful things you can do to become more resilient in your everyday life.