What is worse, the issue or the fear of resolving the issue?

Sometimes, conflict goes unchallenged because we are afraid of the fallout that might result from bringing it into the open. The manager may be afraid to intervene in case that causes the conflict to worsen. A team member may be afraid of upsetting their boss or work mates. The fear is often misplaced – it expands to become more of a problem than the conflict itself.

Is it my role rather than who I am?

You may find yourself at the centre of conflict, not because of who you are or the way you’re working, but because of what you are seen to represent (the position you hold, your other affiliations within the organisation). You may inherit conflict which began a long time before your involvement. Your position means you are central to the conflict but it’s not of your making. In an important sense: ‘this is not personal’. Separating out the individual from the issue cannot only help you to feel better but can give those with a grievance new hope that from here on, you as an individual are bringing new energy and insight to the team problem – that you are prepared to work with them to see the situation in a fresh light.

Does someone just have ‘the wrong end of the stick’?

Some conflicts that seem intractable turn out – on closer inspection – to be genuine cases of misunderstanding. Restatement or re-clarification of the positions in a disagreement, going back to a stage before the conflict arose, can reveal a lot of common ground on which to build consensus.

How deep is the dispute? Are there principled differences in value and belief?

Disagreements naturally result from differences in how people view and act in the world; what is morally acceptable to them, their core beliefs and attitudes. Although more challenging to resolve, having greater awareness of the reasons behind objection and conflict provides opportunity for more open debate. The core beliefs and values of the individuals may not change readily, but it is easier to structure workarounds and solutions if the team knows something of what those deep rooted principles are for the individuals involved. It is also helpful for those with deep-rooted beliefs to trust that those beliefs are respected by other team mates that don’t share them. The particular solutions proposed by different sides may be in conflict, but that is not to say that the value systems underpinning the solutions need be in conflict.

What different interests are at play here?

Team members may be in competition (for jobs, status, team resources or other goods) and the conflict may be a result of that competition. Acknowledging these different interests won’t stop competition, but it may highlight where there is less competition and where members of the dispute can share common goals – thus forming an effective sub-team.

Is it something personal?

It is very easy to blame much conflict on ‘personality clashes’. True, some people just don’t seem to get along, but look at the tasks these personalities are undertaking. What is it about the relationship that does work? Can you catch the individuals in an act of collaboration? If so, you may have something to help build up a working relationship that is effective in certain situations.

Is it about status?

You may have received a ‘put down’ from a senior colleague after making what you thought was a sensible suggestion. Senior team members should be aware of a tendency to reject ideas that come from the ‘wrong’ level in an organisation. (Invite input from all levels: poor pay and poor status does not equate with poor quality of ideas.) Similarly, junior team members should beware of thinking an idea is ‘good’ just because it was suggested by someone more senior. It may be a wise political move for a junior to say an idea from a senior manager is good, but that says nothing about whether it genuinely is a ‘good’ idea for the team or the organisation.

Is it all down to me?

Almost certainly not. Remember what we’ve said about the importance of true dialogue. Conflict resolution requires all parties to engage and, to a greater or lesser extent, shift their positions on an issue.

Am I the best team member to sort this one?

It’s important to remember that team solutions can help resolve team problems – ‘superhero’ methods (a leader storming into a situation and saving the day for those involved) aren’t always the best. Similarly, a colleague who comes to you for advice on addressing a conflict won’t necessarily benefit from your immediate and direct intervention on the issue.

Is there anyone out there – beyond the team – who could help?

Those within the team may be so close to the epicentre of a conflict that they aren’t well placed to give advice on resolving it. Encouraging those within the team to seek alternative perspectives on a conflict situation is very helpful, but sometimes that’s not enough or not appropriate. Consider inviting external colleagues, coaches or peers to play a part. Perhaps they could act as a dispassionate confidante or even (where trusted and agreed by all parties) play a mediation role.