A good coach is somebody that can truly, truly, truly listen to the other person at various levels. Not just using active
listening, or paying conscious attention to what you're saying right now, but also sensing the things you're not telling me,
the emotional undertone of the conversation, your tone of voice, the words you're using, your body, and that way, really get
to the bottom of what's going on. And that's not just about building rapport or appear that way about empathy. It's also so
then you can ask the right questions to help the person uncover the real issues that are behind what they're saying, Because
the presenting issue is not always the real issue.
ALMUTH MCDOWALL
In terms of any particular theoretical orientation that you might bring to it, whether it's more cognitive behavioural style,
but you're kind of thinking about changing people's gremlins in their head. Or whether it's a very humanistic approach with
unconditional positive regard, over to you, anything goes. There the evidence actually would show us basically what it boils
down to is having a quality relationship. It kind of really doesn't matter all that much what your theoretical orientation
is.
So you need to be able to build and hold a really good relationship, and do that really within an ethical and a professional
framework. So you need to know what is it that we can hold within this coaching relationship? Or might there be issues in
the coachee, for instance, that I've spotted where I think, actually, that is an issue, whether it's a mental health issue,
or a real deep underlying confidence issue, where you think, actually no, that is something that requires specialist input
that needs to sit outside the coaching relationship. So you also have to have this ethicality about referring people on as
and when needed, and adhering to professional standards.
JEREMY HOWELL
In my experience, what I think makes a good coach is someone who's able to build a rapport with the person they're coaching
and also trust. So I've had a number of different experiences of coaching, whereby sometimes as someone who's receiving the
coaching, it's felt quite clunky. So I can almost see someone going through the models in their mind. Perhaps they're newer
to it, or using a particular approach. And I didn't quite think they were coming from my perspective. I'm going through a
process, and it feels like I'm very much going through a process.
I think a really great coach doesn't make you feel like you're going through a process and is quite agile in the way they
are with you. And what I mean by agile is the fact that they're getting a sense of you, and you're in a relationship together
working at about what's right.
ALMUTH MCDOWALL
I've had situations when the coaching was commissioned, but the coachee didn't really want to be there. So it was something
that was kind of put upon them because it was part of a generic leadership development programme. And they were kind of, yeah,
OK, I'm here now, but I don't really want to be here. And that's a hard thing to be faced with as a coach because you've prepared.
You're good and ready to go. You think, right, OK, we're really going to make this work.
So you have to learn how to, in a sense, hold your emotions inside you, and in a sense, almost use that resistance that you're
encountering in a really positive way. And perhaps bring it out there into the room and make it quite open. Say, do you know
what? I'm picking up some signals from you, actually. On a scale from, I don't know, 0 to 10, what is your point on that scale?
How much do you really want to be here?
ERICA LEVY
I think also that it's about actually ensuring at the start of the coaching process that the coachee is clear about the fact
that you're not actually instructing them on how to go about something. You're there to provide a guide, guidance, rather.
And that above all, that there should be a time frame within which you operate, so that the coachee is aware that the coaching
sessions will not be lasting years. There'll be a specific time frame, and that confidentiality is maintained. And even a
coaching agreement is signed. And my experience, actually bodes well for that coaching relationship.
LEAH TOMKINS:
I think being a coach is a very difficult thing, because being a good coach, I think, involves encouraging the person you're
coaching to make their own decisions, rather than telling them what you yourself would do in their position. So I think a
good coach is someone who can listen, sit back, and try and enable the coachee's development, but without actually giving
them instructions or directions about how they think they should operate.