3.2 Developing emotional literacy

Working out exactly what you are feeling – and what lies behind those feelings – is a part of being emotionally literate. It enables you to take more control over your life and not let your feelings block your ability to fulfil your potential.

Susie Orbach, a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst, identified three stages of emotional literacy in her book published in 1999. She called these stages: register, recognise and respond. You’ll notice that there are three ‘r’s – so it’s easy to remember! This is known as a mnemonic – which means something to help you remember.

Have a read through what each of these stages means and see if you can think of examples in your own life at home or work. They are:

• Register the emotional dimension in any situation – to recognise, for example, that there is an ‘atmosphere’ and use it to work out what is going on.
• Recognise feelings of your own and their effects on other people, and read other people’s emotions accurately by interpreting their body language.
• Respond appropriately to your own emotions and to those of other people. Recognise that sometimes it is appropriate to express your emotions and sometimes it is not; think whether it is appropriate to simply sit back and listen, or to challenge other people’s interpretation of events.

(Orbach, 1999)