Developing career resilience
Developing career resilience

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Developing career resilience

3.1 Developing self-esteem

In Week 2, when looking at resilient children, adults and resilience coaching, you saw that resilient behaviour can be learned and developed. It’s the same for self-esteem. Moving towards our goals in small ways can make a big difference to how we feel about ourselves.

Activity 4 Developing self-esteem

Timing: Allow about 15 minutes

You met Rebecca Fielding, Managing Director at Gradconsult, and a highly experienced leader on recruitment and talent management for some of the UK’s biggest names, in Week 3, Activity 4. In the following video, she speaks about how highly resilient people behave when things go wrong, and on boosting her self-esteem.

Watch the video and note down:

  • a.what tactics Rebecca Fielding sees highly resilient people using when things go wrong
  • b.what concrete suggestions she gives to help develop resilience
  • c.which examples of positive and negative self-talk she gives
  • d.when she takes a moment to recap on the day.
Download this video clip.Video player: What to do when things go wrong
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Transcript: What to do when things go wrong

I think one of the things that I see in people who are highly resilient are those people who are able to not only recognise when something's gone wrong but learn from it and, critically, what I always call the third stage of this process, which is, then let it go. They're able to move on from it. And those people who have high resilience are able to continuously and constantly try new things.
They're not afraid of failing, if it's new. They accept that that's a perfectly normal part of trying to do something for the first time or trying to do something new that nobody's ever done. It's perfectly normal to not do that perfectly the first time. A, they go into it accepting that. B, they're then fully willing to learn from their inevitable mistakes. But, C, the big bit, which most people don't do but highly resilient people do do, is to forgive themselves, learn from it, move on.
And it's the letting it go and the moving on, having taken something from it that, I think, most people really struggle with. A lot of us, I think, beat ourselves up for a long, long time. Highly resilient people have that thing that Soccer AM call “bouncebackability.”
In terms of developing your own resilience, I think one of the most important things that you can do is to give yourself the opportunity to reflect, and to learn, and to be very aware of your own self-talk. So, what are the things that you're telling yourself about your abilities, about your experience, and about your confidence, as you enter into new situations and new scenarios?
Are you telling yourself, I'm feeling good about this, I'm going to give it my best shot, and I believe I can do this? Although there might be things that go wrong, I'll learn from them. Alternatively are you going to those new experiences telling yourself, I don't deserve to be here, I'm going to be found out, and I'm going to fail. And if you are telling yourself those things, they become self-fulfilling beliefs.
And, for me, one of the most important things you can do for yourself is to notice and be cognizant of the stories that you're telling yourself, and to start to, you can't necessarily change them straight away, but start to recognise how that impacts your choices and your approaches to the challenges in front of you. And, if you can, start to change some of those stories.
So, sitting and reflecting, at the end of every day, as I drive home, I ask myself, what did I do well, what didn't go so well today, what can I learn, and how can I be better tomorrow? So, from a personal-development perspective, I think that's one of the most powerful things you can do to become more resilient in your everyday life.
End transcript: What to do when things go wrong
What to do when things go wrong
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  • a.Rebecca Fielding observes highly resilient people recognising when things have gone wrong, learning from it, and then letting it go and moving on. She sees them continually trying new things and accepting that failure will be part of the picture. They are willing to forgive themselves, and demonstrate ‘bounceback-ability’.
  • b.Rebecca advises giving yourself a chance to reflect, learn and be aware of your own self-talk. What are you telling yourself about your abilities, your experience and confidence as you enter into new situations?
  • c.Positive self-talk includes: ‘I’m feeling good about this, I’m going to give it my best shot, I believe I can do this. Although there might be things that will go wrong, I can learn from them.’ Alternatively, negative self-talk includes: ‘I don’t deserve to be here. I’m going to be found out. I’m going to fail.’
  • d.Rebecca takes a moment at the end of every day as she drives home to notice the stories she tells herself and the choices she is making. She asks herself:
    • What did I do well?
    • What didn’t go so well?
    • What can I do better tomorrow?
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