1.5 Final version
In everyday writing (and for Functional Skills English and Essential Skills Wales Communication assessments), your final version of a written text is the most important part. It is the bit that gets marked or judged. You should have corrected all the errors up to this point so that your final copy is exactly as you want it to be.
Activity 9 Final letter
Use your plan and draft from Activity 6 to write a final version of the letter about the vacuum cleaner. You can do it either in the box below or in a word processing app like Word.
Here’s your draft from Activity 6:
Name of manager : Steve Trent
What the product is : Vacuum cleaner
When it was bought : 25 September
What has happened : it has stopped working
will they replace it : could you please replace it with new one?
Do they have one in stock : could you please tell me that you have another one in your stock
when will come in : i will come in on Saturday to bring it back and collect a new one
Your details : Gilda Pourbahram and my signature
Did you remember that you need to put your address and the date on the letter? As this is a business letter, you should also include the address of the person you are writing to.
The letter must start and finish appropriately. If you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to, start with ‘Dear Sir or Madam’ and finish with ‘Yours faithfully’. If you do know their name, start the letter with ‘Dear Mr/Ms/Mrs … (add their name)’ and finish with ‘Yours sincerely’.
Your final version should look similar to this:
123 My Street
Tel 01234 234789
28 September 2019
Steve Trent, Manager
Ultra Cool Electric Products
54 West Street
Dear Mr Trent
On 25 September I bought a vacuum cleaner, model Ultra Cool ZX3 costing £75, from your shop.
After three weeks the cleaner stopped working. It turns on but does not have any suction power and will not pick anything up.
Please confirm that as the product is under guarantee you will replace it. I will come into your shop on Saturday 2 October to collect the replacement. Before I make the journey to the shop please let me know by telephone if you have another cleaner in stock.
Thank you for your help with this matter.
A. N. Customer
You’ve now gone through the process of planning, drafting and producing the final version of a formal letter. You’ve had some practice at proofreading. You’ll now go on to look at the different kinds of text you may have to write.