Everyday English for Health and Social Care and Education Support 2
Everyday English for Health and Social Care and Education Support 2

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Everyday English for Health and Social Care and Education Support 2

1.5 Redrafting

Described image
Figure 6 The fifth step: redrafting

Redrafting helps you get your ideas into a shape that you are happy with.

Editing should have highlighted any changes to the structure and organisation that you need to make. When you redraft, you focus on the way you express your ideas. The box below contains some tips on how to do this clearly.

Tips for expressing yourself clearly

  • Use precise language, i.e. words that say exactly what you mean. For example:
    • Don’t write ‘Most people are turning up after lunch.’
    • Do write ‘Twenty delegates will arrive at 2.00 p.m.’
  • Write sentences that communicate a single, main idea clearly.
  • Use grammar that links your ideas in a way that leaves no room for confusion. For example:
    • Don’t write ‘He said he wanted to talk about it to him because he had asked him to let them know about side-effects as soon as possible.’
    • Do write ‘The patient told me he wanted to speak to the doctor as soon as possible to report a side effect he was experiencing from the medicine.’
  • Use punctuation that links your ideas accurately and logically. For example:
    • Don’t write ‘Mrs Carter’s 7-year-old daughter Eileen, slipped in the playground and cut her knee I took her inside and washed the cut then I disinfected it, I put a bandage on to stop dirt getting into the cut, Eileen said her knee did not hurt anymore. She wanted to go out and play so I let her, she said her knee was better when I asked her how her it was at 11.00 a.m.’
    • Do write ‘Mrs Carter’s 7-year-old daughter, Eileen, slipped in the playground and cut her knee. I took her inside and washed the cut. Then I disinfected it. I put a bandage on Eileen’s knee to stop dirt getting into the cut. Eileen said her knee did not hurt anymore. She wanted to go out and play so I let her. I asked her how her knee was at 11.00 a.m. She said it was better.’
  • Use correct spelling; incorrect spelling might distract the reader and doesn’t impress.
  • Write in a way that is easy to read, whether on a computer or by hand.

Activity 5 Expressing your ideas clearly

Timing: Allow about 5 minutes

Which of the points above do you think would make your own writing more clear? Make a note in the text box below of the three most important ones for you. Keep those in mind when you next come to write something.

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Discussion

When I write, I often make my sentences too long and complicated, so the following tip is very relevant to me:

  • Write sentences that communicate a single, main idea clearly.
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