Working together to build a community of support

Introduction

Parents are key to developing a community of support. You need to work in partnership with parents, who will be expert on their children – even if they may feel uncertain. You will explore ways of working with parents caring for children with additional support needs (ASN) and examine the possible effects of being given a diagnosis and accessing specialist support. Although it is not necessary to have a diagnosis when responding to children with ASN. You may be working alongside other professionals and drawing on a range of expertise or practical resources to provide support for a child.

Every child and every parent is unique and you need to be open to where each relationship will take you. What you learn from parents, and your developing knowledge of their child, will influence what resources and support you seek, whether they are within your setting, local authority, health board, voluntary sector or from the wider community. Together you will be building a community of support.

In Week 4 you will explore how to work with parents in caring for children, focusing on transitions and communication. You will reflect on the experience of seeking specialist support and gaining a diagnosis. You will consider the varied ways in which an early years practitioner can gain help from national and local initiatives. Early years settings are part of communities.

Figure 4.1  Communicating together in an early years setting

The content of Week 4 links to module learning outcomes (LO) 3 and 4:

• LO3  Explain the need for all staff to take responsibility to support children with ASN (not just those with specialist training).
• LO4  Be aware of the sources of support for ELC staff working with children who need additional support.

By the end of Week 4 you will be able to:

• explain the need for all staff to take responsibility to support children with ASN (not just those with specialist training)
• be aware of the sources of support for ELC staff working with children with ASN.

Continue to 4.1  Building relationships.

4.1  Building relationships

In Week 2 you heard a parent and key worker (or person) talking together about their shared care for a child. Positive relationships between staff and parents make it easier to provide the right support for all children. Developing a positive relationship from the outset can be supported by adopting a flexible and responsive approach.

Most settings have a system of key workers who have a responsibility for developing relationships with children and families. These key staff can be particularly important for children and parents as they start in a new setting. They may become less important over time as children develop their relationships with adults and may make their own choice about who to seek for comfort or support.

Figure 4.2  Key worker, parent and child

The Lead Professional or key workers are usually the main contact for discussions with parents, and also for liaising with other professionals regarding additional support and any other issues.

The comments in the activity above came from a parent survey to explore the role of key workers and to inform the nursery’s approach to supporting transitions.

However, please remember that it may not be usual practice for an ELC practitioner to carry out a home visit. Occasionally home visits may be necessary, but it is important to remember that a risk assessment should be carried out. Where possible, parents should be encouraged to come into the nursery.

Perhaps you could ask parents in your setting for their views on supporting transitions and use what you find to develop your practice?

Figure 4.3  Key worker and child saying goodbye to parent

Next you’ll look at building and respecting identity, and how and when a diagnosis can be helpful.

4.2  Working together: diagnosing disability or identifying a need

As practitioners focusing on how best to provide support for each individual child, we may need to ask for advice and input from health professionals or social workers with specialist knowledge. We need to do this with care, knowing that the way we seek support has influence over how parents and children see themselves and construct their identity. Sometimes a diagnosis can be regarded as a label and can provoke negative emotions. However for some people, knowing that there is a cause or reason for certain behaviours, and that there is a condition that can be diagnosed, can be viewed as being positive. It is very important to be aware that ELC practitioners do not diagnose conditions, though.

Activity 4.2  Reflection on diagnosing disability or identifying a need

Timing: Allow 10 minutes

First listen to play worker Max Alexander, who has been diagnosed as having autism, as he discusses how he views his diagnosis as a tool.

Download this video clip.Video player: Video 4.1

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Transcript: Video 4.1  Diagnosis as a tool

MAX ALEXANDER:

Well, a useful way to think about diagnosis for me is to think about it as a tool, so diagnosis is meant to be useful. That's why it's that why it exists. It's meant to be useful. Diagnosis, as a tool, I think, the initial thing people might think about is it, as a tool, has access to very practical things access to funding, access to the right or useful therapeutic interventions.

But that's not as far as it goes. I think it's also really important that, particularly as children get older, is that a diagnosis like autism, for example, can actually be really valuable to that individual in how they understand themselves and how they find community. It can give you language. Yeah, it gives you, like, language and ideas and models ways to navigate the world as you grow up and you have, you know, education, work, family relationships.

Well, I do actually often come across parents being very nervous or anxious about their child possibly getting a diagnosis or seeking a diagnosis. I often see it as a almost disrespecting their child's individuality. I hear a lot of, like, fear around kind of labelling children and seeing that as something, yeah, really, like, bad or even disrespectful to the child.

I guess my take on this is it definitely can be, but it doesn't have to be. It's all about how you view diagnosis. Or, if we're talking about autism, for example, often those anxieties come from having a negative view of autism in the first place, I guess. Because no one's reluctant to label their child with something that they see as positive.

And that can be quite difficult to understand and realise and think through. I guess, yeah, another, perhaps, question to ask is, if you're sort of someone struggling around the idea of diagnosing a child, or going through that process, is, like, whose comfort are you worrying about?

And I think it's often the adult's comfort they're actually worrying about and it's about how the adult is seeing the child, and not how the child is seeing themselves, or the child's experience of that.

End transcript: Video 4.1  Diagnosis as a tool

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Video 4.1  Diagnosis as a tool

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Now listen to a parent’s reaction to their son’s diagnosis of autism.

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Transcript: Video 4.2  Parents reaction to diagnosis

WOMAN:

I wasn't that horrified by the diagnosis and, in fact, in some ways quite relieved because I was thinking, well, he's four and he's still in nappies, and is this something I've done wrong?

End transcript: Video 4.2  Parents reaction to diagnosis

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Video 4.2  Parents reaction to diagnosis

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Consider your reactions to these two perspectives. Perhaps you have your own experiences of disability? Perhaps you have an additional learning need, such as dyslexia?

How might you feel about the diagnosis of a disability or identification of an ASN? Is your reaction neutral? Make a note in your learning journal of your reaction and how your reflection might influence your practice.

Discussion

Max viewed his diagnosis as something that was welcome; he called the diagnosis a tool. This can be interpreted as meaning that he could understand himself better. Also, the diagnosis meant that further support could be accessed.

The mum in the second clip was relieved that autism was the cause of her son’s difference. It appears that the diagnosis brought her a sense of relief because she had felt guilty that she had done something wrong.

What you focus on is what grows

The European Commission working group on Early Childhood Education and Care describes each child as:

The above statement refers to all children. If this is our understanding of each child, then it follows that we focus on their uniqueness, their curiosity and capability, and their desire to interact with other children and adults in whatever way that might be. Curiosity, capability and intelligence will flourish if we pay attention to them. It is also important that we appreciate the strengths and opportunities that a child who requires additional support can bring to the setting.

Practitioners need to model this approach. You can build a positive relationship with a family by demonstrating your understanding of their child and your wish to get to know them and to co-create knowledge with them. This will be apparent through your interactions with children and how you document their learning through personal learning plans, online e-journals or other material and methods relevant to your setting.

One practical example is to ensure that conversations led by adults, including parents, always involve and connect with children so that children are not talked about while they are present as if they are not able to hear and understand.

Moving your body to the child’s height, bringing them into the conversation and redirecting an adult’s questions or comments to the child for their response or to acknowledge their involvement can remind other adults of the child’s agency, their humanity and their right to be involved in decisions affecting them. This approach reflects the aims of Article 12 in the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.

Follow this link to Children and Young People’s Commissioner Scotland (2019) for further information about children’s rights and how they are addressed in Scotland.

Using wellbeing indicators

You may be familiar with the wellbeing indicators outlined by the policy ‘Getting it Right for Every Child’ (GIRFEC). You can read more about these online here:

• Getting it Right for Every Child

GIRFEC includes wellbeing indicators, illustrated in Figure 4.4. These indicators can help you think about the different influences on a child’s wellbeing and help you think about how you might need to support a child or involve other professionals. You might find it helpful to have a list of the wellbeing indicators to hand while you complete Activity 4.3.

Maximise

Figure 4.4  Wellbeing indicator

Activity 4.3  Using observations and communication to support a health concern

Timing: Allow 15 minutes

This activity asks you to think about the help Arianna might need for her eyesight, and about how you would ensure this help is sought.

Read the following scenario, then choose which option you think is the best approach to take.

Arianna, who is three, is very adept at using her whole body to explore an environment. She often climbs and rolls on surfaces, both indoors and outside. You have noticed that she has bumped into other children a few times recently and seems more physically cautious than usual. Arianna seems to be taking more time to approach new physical challenges.

You wonder if this is because Arianna is growing and is adapting to her longer limbs. You have noticed other children having to learn how to coordinate their changing body. However, you have noticed that Arianna’s eyes sometimes move independently, with one eye focusing inwards. You wonder whether Arianna’s vision is affecting her movement. You discuss this with a colleague, who thinks that Arianna might have a squint and should see an optician. You don’t know whether Arianna’s parents have noticed, and you decide to speak to them.

1. When do you think would be the best time to speak to Arianna’s parents?

   • a.At the beginning of the day or at the end-of-day pick-up.

Comment

Parents (and staff) will be busy and have their own agenda, such as catching a bus or getting to work. They may not be in a frame of mind to discuss a sensitive issue. Conversations will be public if you are in the main space. All children will be present and may be listening in to a sensitive issue. However, you could use this contact time to ask for a conversation. Perhaps you could ask when it would be a good time to call?

•  

  • b.At a specific pre-agreed time during the day.

Comment

You could agree a specific time to speak in advance by phone call, a quick chat at pick up or by email. You could discuss the matter on the phone but agree a time to call. A parent should have the opportunity to ensure they are in a private space to discuss their child on the phone and if you are calling them at work this might not be possible.

2. Where do you think you should have a conversation?

   • a.In a corridor or the main nursery space.

Comment

These are public spaces and not confidential. Other children and adults will be listening. This is not private or dignified, and there is also likely to be noise and distraction.

•  

  • b.In a private room.

Comment

This is preferable, and better still with the chance to make a cup of tea. Try to create a friendly family room that hosts positive experiences as well as potentially difficult conversations. Think about the layout and decoration. You’d like to create a calm, positive and welcoming atmosphere in the space you create before you even start to talk. You could speak on the phone, but you need to be in a private room to do this too.

3. How might you prepare for this conversation?

Comment

Review the wellbeing indicators above and makes some notes in your reflective journal about what kind of information you might need and how you might raise your concerns. You might consider the comments in Section 4.2 and the importance of neutrality in your approach. You may need to consider whether the parent has communication needs.

4. What did you decide?

Discussion

Perhaps you considered these points?

• You might refer to your notes on observing Arianna’s physical confidence and her enjoyment of exploring her space with her whole body. The context for your observation is your understanding of her enthusiasm and confidence in physical activity.

• Look up information about eyesight and the importance of intervening early. Don’t presume to diagnose a squint, but have information available about the importance of eye checks.

• Start by talking about what you and parents both know about Arianna’s physical abilities and coordination, and then share your concern that her eyesight might be hindering her.

• Focus on Arianna’s capabilities. You may have noticed that she is finding ways to manage the challenges of her eyesight, perhaps taking longer to assess how to move about in a space. Arianna is adapting to the challenge she is facing so she may not be upset or even really notice what is different. You do not know what will be revealed through an eye check, but you can help focus on Arianna’s competence and active learning, which will support her and her parents through diagnosis of any medical condition.

• Share the information you have found about eyesight, stressing that you are not the expert but that she might need support for her vision now. Make suggestions for action such as visiting an optician, GP or health visitor.

• Follow up the conversation and ask parents to let you know what the outcome is and find out if there is any action you might need to take. Remember if parents do not follow up on your suggestion of getting a professional’s opinion, you may need to talk to the child’s health visitor about the need for an eye check. Before doing so it will be important to check guidelines on information-sharing when there is a welfare concern (as opposed to a child protection concern), then parental permission will be needed to discuss this with a health visitor.

• If you need to share information with another professional, such as a health visitor, practitioners should take families’ views into account and be clear about:

      – what information they propose to share to support wellbeing

      – who it will be shared with and why.

• Families have no obligation to accept help offered to support wellbeing. However, if a child is considered to be at risk of significant harm, then information may be shared without consent and immediately.

Assessing Arianna’s wellbeing

A practitioner concerned about a child’s eye health is already using the health wellbeing indicator. They might also consider Arianna’s more cautious approach to being active and be aware of the potential for a loss of confidence as she struggles to take on physical challenges that were previously easy for her. This means considering the ‘Active’ and ‘Achieving’ wellbeing indicators.

The practitioner respects Arianna’s experience and her approach, and notices not just the difficulties that Arianna is experiencing, but also how she manages to deal with them and how she is flexible and thoughtful in adapting her body.

Figure 4.5  Glasses for support with eyesight (note that this is not a photo of Arianna)

Arianna may need support with her eyesight, and it is important that this is addressed. It is important to draw attention to the way that Arianna manages to deal with her challenging eyesight and find new ways to assess risk or perceive distance. What will be helpful is discussing the issue with Arianna herself so that she feels respected, another wellbeing indicator. Arianna is a unique, competent and active learner, not a child with an eye problem.

The example of the concern about Arianna’s eyesight provides you with an approach that you might find helpful when faced with other concerns.

The following section explores ways that you can build a community of support to help you and colleagues in your setting to work effectively together for children with ASN.

4.3  Identifying and building a community of support

As the previous activity shows, early years practitioners need to know how and when to discuss with parents the need to involve other professionals in providing care for their child. This is everyone’s responsibility. A helpful factsheet is available on the Enquire website.

Sometimes it is clear who needs to provide help; at other times it may not be. You might need to contact a health visitor or an educational psychologist. You might need to consult with colleagues or professionals in your local authority to gain advice on the best approach. Team working is an essential part of working with young children.

Perhaps you feel you need to improve your understanding of children’s development. There are links at the end of this week’s study that you can follow to extend your learning.

If you have a concern, try to take a neutral approach. Be curious. Use the wellbeing indicators outlined in the previous section to make some notes connected to observations over time. This will help you notice ways in which the child you may be concerned about is managing their situation. It will help you see what you can build on, remembering that what you focus on is what grows. It will also help you share information respectfully with others.

One way of finding support can be from your wider community. Consider how well connected you and your colleagues are to the services in the locality of your setting.

Activity 4.4  Support available in the community

Timing: Allow 10 minutes

Emma Watt works for Multi-Cultural Family Base, a voluntary agency working across Edinburgh with strong connections to local nurseries and schools. Here Emma describes the support provided for a child who was a refugee from Syria and now lives in Scotland. This example illustrates the range of support that resulted from being part of a well-connected community.

While you watch the film, consider who was involved in providing support for Ahmed. Think about the different individuals and organisations that provided help.

Download this video clip.Video player: Video 4.3

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Transcript: Video 4.3  Emma Watt – Multi-Cultural Family Base

EMMA WATT:

So my name is Emma. I am a 4-2-7 worker at Multicultural Family Base. I'm a trained social worker.

A couple of years ago, we had a referral from the head teacher at Lorne Nursery. We've had a long relationship with Lorne Nursery, and indeed, other nurseries and schools in Leith and across the city so they know to call us for referrals.

They had a boy presenting who had come from Syria. He had come here under the UN vulnerable person relocation scheme, and he had a number of behaviours which were concerning to the nursery. Such as when he saw a plane going overhead, he would become very anxious and hide under the table. So using that relationship we had with Lorne, we went in and offered him support. So it was very key to this to have that long standing relationship with the school so they knew to call us and pull in that support.

When Ahmed was referred in, I quickly felt that the whole family needed support. So I believe that when a family have experienced trauma, holistic support for the whole family is key to their support. Ahmed was clearly presenting with post-traumatic stress symptoms. The latest Save the Children report call this toxic stress, not post-traumatic stress. So it was clear to me that this boy, Ahmed, was presenting with these behaviours, which would suggest that he had toxic stress.

Following on from meeting Ahmed and his family, I realised that we needed to pull on a range of supports that was crucial. I realised that Ahmed would need support from an art psychotherapist. And the point of that support was to allow him to build that alliance with his art psychotherapist, and to explore some of his behaviours and what he'd been through, and to offer him a safe space in which to do that.

However, in terms of the holistic support, I knew that mum needed support as well to manage his behaviours at home. And mum needed support in her own right, so I went in once a week to offer mum support. And we offered her a space here in our mum's group. The whole family were invited to a ceilidh, which we have every term which offers lunch and dancing to families and allows them to meet other families in the community, so it kind of impacts on social isolation.

Initially, when Ahmed was referred in, I was invited along to some child planning meetings to see what support we could put in place. So I would go along and meet Ahmed on a one-to-one basis and do one-to-one work with him. And then I realised that actually what he needed, what would really benefit him and I knew this from our evidence base and from my practice wisdom was him working alongside the art psychotherapist. So it took a few weeks of one-to-one interventions to see, let's expand this support out and see what else is needed for him and for his well-being.

I think in terms of who was supporting Ahmed, it's really important to recognise and to realise that there is a community of support out there for Ahmed. There is Multicultural Family Base. So I was going in to see him at the nursery and running a group at the nursery, which he came to in his nursery year as well as P1. So that was continued to help support his transition from nursery up to P1, as well as that he had an art psychotherapist going out to work with him in the nursery setting.

In addition to that, he had the whole community from Multicultural Family Base, the families who he would meet at the termly ceilidhs. So he had a huge body of support, as well as the head of the nursery, the head of Lorne Primary when he finally made his transition up.

We were also invited along to the child planning meetings, so there was a number of supports there as well, such as additional support for learning, his EAL supports, et cetera. So he was really contained by a huge community of support.

End transcript: Video 4.3  Emma Watt – Multi-Cultural Family Base

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Video 4.3  Emma Watt – Multi-Cultural Family Base

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Comment

Perhaps you noted these sources of support?

• the UN programme that organised the family’s resettlement
• His family
• nursery and school staff (practitioners, headteacher)
• nursery children
• Multi-Cultural Family Base
• 4-2-7 project worker and other children in the group
• art therapist
• social workers
• wider multicultural community – children and parents attending the Ceilidh.

Maximise

Figure 4.6  Ahmed’s support network

It can help to map the support for a child and think about what the gaps might be, what your questions are and what you can do to strengthen support. It can help you see how the support available contributes to a child’s wellbeing. Making connections to wellbeing indicators will help you put together a Child’s Plan, which you’ll look at in Week 5.

You can try drawing a map of support in the extension activity at the end of the week.

4.4  Watching, listening and learning

In the examples in Section 4.3 you have learned about the needs of children who are recovering from specific experiences such as the trauma of war, as well as a visual impairment and an ongoing condition, Down’s syndrome. You will see that there is a need to have knowledge of the experiences and conditions in order to be able to respond to the needs of each child. It is important to be able to recognise their agency, competence and unique way of making sense of the world.

Activity 4.5  Working with Darren

Timing: Allow 20 minutes

Listen to Elizabeth Henderson describing an experience working with Darren, a young child who had been labelled as violent. This is an account of something that happened many years ago. Reviewing this, Elizabeth reflects deeply on her experience of supporting him.

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Transcript: Video 4.4  Working with Darren

ELIZABETH:

So I'll tell you about Darren, the wild boy. The first day arrives and the bright green minibus stops at the foot of the path. We can all see the expectant faces of the children and one boy stands out to me, his dark mop of curly hair and cherub-like face distinguishing him from the others who are smaller and thinner.

This is Darren, whose violent reputation precedes him. I know that if this project doesn't help him calm down, he won't be allowed to enter his local nursery. Labelled violent at two, where does he go from here? I fetch Darren from the minibus and he looks dazed. The air is cold and crisp and the children are already wearing their snowsuits to keep them warm.

Singing the bear hunt song, my team walk back to the nursery garden hand-in-hand with the children who are all entranced. I stop inside the gate and stand quietly beside Darren. He remains motionless, wide eyed. I watch silently as he looks in wonder at all the outdoor toys the water shoot, the climbing tower, the little trikes, the sandpit full of buckets and spades, the climbing trees, the outdoor house. He seems afraid to move and somewhat overwhelmed.

Taking his hand gently, I begin to walk around the nursery site, chatting as we go, introducing him to all the nooks and crannies. Finally, we arrive at the big autumnal leaf pile at the bottom of the garden. He stands and stares, his mouth silent and open and his eyes wide. He seems mesmerised. Looking at his bright eyes, it's hard to believe that at just two and 1/2 years old, he's seen things in his life that no child should ever see.

Two girls are standing by the leaf pile looking. So I quickly grab a big heap of leaves and scatter them over their heads like a shower. They immediately giggle and imitate me. Darren watches without moving.

We continue to play and eventually he joins in throwing the leaves everywhere. Then pushing one of the two-year-old girls into the heap, he aggressively rubs leaves across her face and in her eyes. She kicks him. He kicks her back. And I spontaneously hoist a massive pile of leaves calling, watch out. Here comes a leaf storm.

As all three emerge from the leaf pile, they throw leaves over me and then each other. Darren stops suddenly and looks at me quizzically as if to say, ‘is this really OK’? He's checking the boundaries. I didn't shout at him. I didn't reprimand him.

I didn't get angry. I just played. Then, I laugh and we continue throwing leaves and rolling in them before moving on.

Some three weeks later, Darren walks over to the big wooden water shoots in the garden joining some other children who are racing little boats, shells, leaves, and plastic ducks from top to bottom. I watch him scream with laughter and excitement, finally falling over in a fit of giggles. The water bucket is still in his hands.

As I help him pick up the buckets, we bump heads and for a moment he stops and looks straight into my eyes. What does he want?

I feel the question in his gaze and warmly smile back in response and then listen as my inner thoughts spontaneously arise. Yes, I can see you. I can see you. It's going to be OK.

Some heartbeats pass as we acknowledge this in silence. Then, moments later, Darren runs back to the water chute laughing.

Sitting in my car before driving home from nursery that day, I take my notebook from my bag. And in a fiery, tear-filled rage, I write, Darren, the wild boy, often bit children. Darren trashed the nursery room and then he ran amok. Darren's first protection order is like a first tattoo, marking, etching, and defining his life chances at two. I'm angry. Can you hear me?

On another visit, running up the path, Darren launches himself into my arms and hugs me, then runs into the garden to play. It's a fine day and the air is unusually warm for this time of year. Later from a distance, I notice him lying down in the long grass stroking it from side to side. He's being very gentle.

First, he parts the grass and he flattens it to one side. He slowly lifts his hand and he watches as the grass springs up again. He seems wistful, far, far away in his thoughts and repeats the action over and over again.

Eventually and slowly, I walk over to be nearer him. And noticing me, he turns and says, ‘Sometimes mummy lies down a lot. Sometimes she doesn't get up.’ He strokes the grass again and he lets it spring up.

‘But I'm not ill and I can stand as tall as that tree. I'm just like the big tree.’ Running up to the big tree the bottom of the garden, he throws his arms around it, smiles and hugs it.

Darren's mum sleeps for long periods of time on the sofa. Recently, she has escaped a violent partner, but still struggles with addiction and depression. Having moved to the city with her partner some years ago, she is now alone and far away from her family and their support.

End transcript: Video 4.4  Working with Darren

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Video 4.4  Working with Darren

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Discussion

I am respected and treated with dignity as an individual.

Elizabeth talks about respecting Darren by focusing on the gifts he brings. She looks to understand his experiences and make connections to his behaviour. She treats him as a complex individual responding to a difficult situation. She sees his distress.

I feel safe and I am protected from neglect, abuse or avoidable harm.

Darren has experienced being unsafe and there may be concerns about his mother’s wellbeing. Staff are aware of this and want to support him to make sense of this experience. He is able to acknowledge the difference between himself and his mum, which suggests he feels safe.

I experience warm, compassionate and nurturing care and support.

Elizabeth describes the emotional warmth and care she provides. Emotional labour is hard work.

Now listen to Elizabeth’s reflection on her response to Darren.

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Transcript: Video 4.5  Reflection on response

ELIZABETH:

Darren wasn't an easy child. But I do have to say, it made it easier that I fell in love with him on the first day. I took one look at his face, and despite what I had been told about him, which was pretty awful I was told he trashed rooms, and he bit other children and was probably not going to be allowed to start nursery because his behaviour was so bad but when I saw him, I could see in his eyes a wonderful, wonderful child.

So to go back to my question of who are you, I saw Darren as this absolutely wide-eyed child. Yes, he was living in a very difficult situation, but he was Darren. And I knew that he had brought gifts with him into the world. I just had to find them. And then I needed to help enrich his life by giving him the courage to be the best that he could be. And so I took my cue from him.

And I guess that brings us then to thinking about pedagogy then. What kind of pedagogy fits this sort of approach? And in current theories, that would be called relational pedagogies. When we're talking about relational pedagogy, we need to think about that space that we haven't predetermined it but that it can be open. And therefore, you're working with child, and you're being with child. And if you're being with the child, you're listening deeply. You're very attuned, and you're very sensitive to what the child needs.

But I also, being a Celtic soul myself, I also took my cue from O’Donohue's work on Anam Cara. And the Anam Cara is a soul friend. So it's the person to whom you can tell your troubles and the person that you know will listen to you but, more importantly, the person that you know can see you.

And when I bumped heads with Darren that day in the garden, it was a real moment of looking really close up to each other and looking straight into each other's eyes. And a part of me felt slightly uncomfortable because I felt naked in front of his eyes. I knew he could see through me, and I have my flaws like everybody else. But I wasn't sure if he knew that I could see him.

And therefore, I could hear myself having this conversation, saying, ‘Darren, I can see you. I can see you. And it will be OK’. I really wanted to say, ‘You're actually an amazing child. You've got such a love and warmth and passion. And despite all that's gone on in your life, you're an amazing child.’ And I wanted to embrace him, but I didn't. But I just said it quietly, but I felt such a warmth for him and a love for him. And I think for both of us, it was a real turning point because he was only a few weeks into the project when that happened.

But from that moment, he was so calm when he was around me and so open and so happy and relaxed that he didn't exhibit these so-called behaviours that he had been exhibiting before, which was his way of saying, ‘I can't cope, so I'm just going to bite you’. And ‘I can't cope with this nursery room, so I'm just going to trash it until you hear me’. But out in the garden, it was easy for me to hear him and see him. And I think in that little moment when we met eye to eye over the bumping of the heads, I knew that he then knew that I could see him.

End transcript: Video 4.5  Reflection on response

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Video 4.5  Reflection on response

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Take time to consider your emotions. Being able to provide nurturing care that is warm and compassionate is hard work. You need to consider your own wellbeing. Consider the safety advice on a flight: make sure your breathing device is fitted before you help a child! To provide the right care for children, you need to care for yourself too.

You can learn more from Elizabeth Henderson by watching a longer interview.

Download this video clip.Video player: Video 4.6

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Transcript: Video 4.6  Elizabeth Henderson – Extended interview

ELIZABETH:

I always felt it was important to go with the child and what the child needed. That's not to say my practice was perfect, because it wasn't. It was as flawed as anybody else's because we learn and it's an organic process. You never know what the day is going to bring. You never know what a child is going to bring or what a family situation is going to bring.

When you meet a child at the door in the morning, to be told that grandma died last night, or you meet the child at the door in the morning to be told that a little sister had a fit that morning and has been rushed to hospital, so the child's been dropped off with Granny. How do you respond to all of that? I think firstly, you need to respond with warmth and an open heart, because if you don't, I really don't see how you can hope to educate children, because we'd be disassociating the heart from the head, and for me, my practice has always been about taking a holistic approach, of really integrating the head, the heart, the hand, and remembering that everything we experience in life is part of a process of embodiment.

And therefore, if I want a child to feel relaxed and at home in the nursery, I need to be warm and inviting and able to greet and make space. Irrespective of policy guidelines, I might be worrying about, irrespective of if there's an inspection hanging over my head, the child should really come first. The child should really be at the centre of everything that we do, not just lip service to that phrase, but actually to do it and to work from there. And I've always believed that if you actually, really work with a child respectfully and warmly and out of our experience and our knowledge, you will, in fact, meet all the guidelines and policies because your practice is rich. If you head for the policies and the guidelines and you try to make your experience with the child match that, I think you're doing it back to front, and you fail sometimes, I think, to see the child.

End transcript: Video 4.6  Elizabeth Henderson – Extended interview

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Video 4.6  Elizabeth Henderson – Extended interview

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Perhaps there is a child you would like to seek extra help for in your setting? Why not try to map out potential support networks for a child you are working with? What are the gaps? What do you need to find out more about? What networks do you need to build? What are the strengths you can focus on?

If you are a Lead Professional, you may want to look in more depth at your role in relation to working with children with ASN. If so, please look at the extension activity at the end of this session.

Summary

This week you have explored how to build a community of support for children. You have considered how to ensure well-supported transitions to create positive relationships with parents. You have looked at a range of conditions that require additional support, including autism, visual impairment, trauma and having Down’s syndrome. This has enabled you to become aware of the range of external support available from online resources, health visitors and specialist organisations.

Extension activity

References

Further reading