Session 2: Learning by looking at my life over time

Introduction

Figure 2.1

What can we learn by looking at our life, our experiences, over time? How can this be helpful for the future?

Session 1 drew on the experience of carers as they reflected on their present situation. People learn from good and bad experiences and the ups and downs of life. We saw how the experience of caring can have a strong influence regardless of how old you are, or how long you’ve been a carer.

A caring role may be something that developed over time and, as we saw with Jade and Dean, people don’t necessarily realise they fit into this category: it’s just something that’s ‘normal’ to them. For others, becoming a carer might have been a sudden event. Whatever the situation, circumstances can change quickly and sometimes things happen that are out of our control.

The value of looking at our roles and experiences, and recognising the influences on our lives, is that we can identify what really interests and motivates us and start to understand our decision making and how we react to events. Is there a pattern? What we consider important can change over time: our priorities can differ at different points in our life. How we feel about these experiences can vary too.

So, how do we define high points and low points? Are there recurring themes in the choices we make? Can we see the difference between choices that we make and changes that happen that are out of our control?

In this session carers look at their life experiences, focusing particularly on their caring experiences. The aim is to work out what skills and attributes they have built up, together with the qualities they have developed, particularly from caring, in addition to the obvious ones gained from education or work experience.

Learning outcomes

After working through this session you will have:

• a clearer understanding of the experiences of carers

• an appreciation of the various skills, qualities and attributes that carers may develop and how some of these are transferable to work contexts

• an understanding of carers’ motivations to return to work, or to balance paid employment with their caring role.

Taking stock of my experiences over time

A timeline creates a graphic picture of your life (or a period in your life) that can help you to identify the ups and downs that have occurred. The timeline may also show any patterns or recurring themes that you may have been unaware of. It can help to define high points and low points and allow you to reflect on what you’ve learned from them.

In this session carers look at their life experiences, focusing particularly on their caring experiences. You can reflect on the skills and qualities they have developed through their caring role.

You may also find it interesting to try this activity for yourself. It can be difficult to look back over our life or our experiences. If you would prefer not to reflect on certain experiences, you can select which areas of your life you want to focus on.

To give you an idea of how a series of events in your life can be captured in a timeline take a look at the examples below.

Lesley

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Figure 2.2 Lesley’s timeline

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This is a timeline of thirteen boxes connected to each other, mostly along a horizontal line, which depict the high points and low points in Lesley’s life. The timeline moves from left to right, with the four low points represented by boxes below the main line, and two high points above the line. The timeline starts on the left with a box stating that Lesley trained to be a nurse in London. The timeline then moves to the right with the box representing when she travelled and lived in Turkey for a year. Box three records her move to Scotland where her parents had relocated from Kent. She then worked as a nurse in Dumfries from 1994–2004, married and had children (box four). Box five lies below the line as it was a low point when Lesley’s daughter was ill, which meant a lot of time was spent travelling to hospitals and juggling work. Another low point (box six) reflects her son being diagnosed with disabilities, meaning it was impossible to work and be a full-time carer. On a more positive note, box seven is back on the horizontal line for 2004–2007 when Lesley worked part-time in retail. Then she did some volunteering while her son was at school. At the same time, additional low points (boxes nine and ten) indicate that regular support was needed from both a carers centre and other carers, and her back and joint problems worsened. Separation from her partner was associated with financial challenges (box eleven), but marked the start of a positive phase represented by boxes twelve and thirteen. Here she started an Open University course and followed that with a business studies course (in the final box) at the end of her timeline.

Figure 2.2 Lesley’s timeline

Lesley’s timeline begins when she starts her career as a nurse. The first few bubbles (moving from left to right) illustrate positive experiences occurring over time as she gains experience and progresses in her career.

Then Lesley’s life becomes more complicated. She is married and has children, but is also reacting to some new and difficult challenges. These are shown below the centre line.

The last part of Lesly’s timeline shows how difficult experiences are happening almost at the same time as positive events. Lesley is still a carer, with her own health problems and financial challenges, but she also has some ‘ups’. She has been able to make her own choices and enjoy new challenges, including completing an Open University course and starting a business studies course.

Timelines don’t always progress in ups and downs. Sometimes ups and downs can be happening at the same time, as this timeline shows.

Scott

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Figure 2.3 Scott’s timeline

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Ten text boxes connected by lines illustrate Scott’s experiences over time. The timeline starts in the bottom left-hand corner of the diagram, with the first two boxes representing low points in Scott’s life when he left school in 2010 and had personal and family problems. Time moves from left to right across the diagram. Box three represents a four-year period between 2010 and 2014 when Scott attended college, completed an NPA childcare course and in 2013 began an HNC in Social Care. At this time he was also volunteering with children’s organisations (box four, on the left of the diagram) and experienced a high point by completing his charity fundraising despite physical challenges that were ongoing since school (box 5, top left on the diagram). Another high point is represented in box six by the support he received from the college counsellor in 2012. Other positive support was received from a young adult care worker and other young adult carers in 2013 (box seven). Scott has had ongoing college placements, including one with adults with learning disabilities in 2014. Boxes nine and ten (on the right of the diagram) represent further positive events in Scott’s life, with his cleaning job at a carer’s centre since 2013 and finally being an advocate for carers at national events, which he has also done since 2013. Overall, the boxes in Scott’s timeline form a slight upward trend from bottom left to top right as his experiences become generally more positive over time.

Figure 2.3 Scott’s timeline

Scott left school and started college, and we can see from his timeline that college is an ‘up’ compared to school, so college is positioned slightly higher. While at school and then starting out at college he had some difficult personal and family times. This box is lower, indicating a ‘down’.

Throughout these personal challenges Scott continued to make progress with his studies. He moved from having few qualifications to achieving a National Progression Award (NPA) in Childcare to working on a Higher National Certificate (HNC) in Social Care.

The volunteering and fundraising boxes are ‘ups’ that he often chooses to do.

The support Scott gained from a college counsellor, the young adult carers’ support worker and other carers have been high points in his life. These points in his timeline have led to further positive experiences, as the boxes show by moving up and to the right.

Activity 2.1

Figure 2.4

You might like to try creating your own timeline. However, for some people it can be very difficult to look back over their life or experiences; it may bring to mind some issues or memories that they would rather not confront. If this is the case, the timeline activity can be omitted. Alternatively, you may find it useful to discuss the events in your life with a person you trust.

But do bear in mind, your timeline doesn’t need to cover your whole life. You can choose to focus on just a few key events.

Learning from caring experiences

From plotting what happened when, the next step is thinking about what you’ve learned from these different roles and experiences, and how you’ve developed as a person over time.

Look at Lesley’s timeline again but with some key learning points added.

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Figure 2.5 Lesley’s timeline with learning points added

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This is a timeline of boxes connected to each other, mostly along a horizontal line, which depict the high points and low points in Lesley’s life. In addition to the thirteen boxes of her timeline, an additional six coloured boxes represent things she has learned from various events and experiences. The timeline moves from left to right, with the four low points represented by boxes below the main line, and two high points above the line. The timeline starts on the left with a box stating that Lesley trained to be a nurse in London. This made her think ‘I enjoy learning’. The timeline then moves to the right with the box representing when she travelled and lived in Turkey for a year. Box three records her move to Scotland where her parents had relocated from Kent. Both these boxes taught Lesley that she was open to new challenges, her second learning point. She then worked as a nurse in Dumfries from 1994–2004, married and had children (box four). Box five lies below the line as it was a low point when Lesley’s daughter was ill, which meant a lot of time was spent travelling to hospitals and juggling work. Another low point (box six) reflects her son being diagnosed with disabilities, meaning it was impossible to work and be a full-time carer. On a more positive note, box seven is back on the horizontal line for 2004–2007 when Lesley worked part-time in retail. Then she did some volunteering while her son was at school. These experiences resulted in learning points four and five and the realisation that she can budget, plan, organise and manage while she also enjoys working as part of a team. At the same time, additional low points (boxes nine and ten) indicate that regular support was needed from both a carers centre and other carers, and her back and joint problems worsened. This taught Lesley that she had to adapt what she does to fit in with her health. Separation from her partner was associated with financial challenges (box eleven), but marked the start of a positive phase represented by boxes twelve and thirteen. Here she started an Open University course and followed that with a business studies course (in the final box) at the end of her timeline. At the end of her timeline Lesley’s thoughts are ‘I enjoy learning. I can pass a course. I can do it!’

Figure 2.5 Lesley’s timeline with learning points added

The purple boxes summarise what Lesley has learned at different points in her life. The early part of her timeline shows that she enjoyed learning and was good with new challenges.

The middle, challenging, section of her timeline has produced a lot of different learning points relating to her caring role and her experience as a parent.

In the final section we can see that Lesley still enjoys learning. She has gained confidence from appreciating that she can succeed with a course.

Listen to Lesley talking about what she has learned.

Download this video clip.Video player: lesley_snippet.mp4

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Transcript

Lesley

I wouldn’t have thought about it at the time, but when I did the Reflections Toolkit [The Reflection Toolkit is similar to the Caring Counts course but does not focus on the experience of carers], I thought about time management, because you’re juggling so many things, hospital appointments, going up and down to the school, looking after other children in the house. Budgeting, because obviously I lost an income. Dealing with all the things that you have to deal with, benefits and so on. Communicating with lots of different professionals; education, health, social work. Just basically managing stress. Maybe you don’t feel like you are, but obviously somehow you get through it, and develop coping strategies. You don’t feel that at the time but I think you get quite resilient from years of doing that.

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Activity 2.2

You have heard Lesley talking about what she has learned from the different roles, environments and situations she has been in.

Here are some key words from Lesley’s comments:

• learned that she is resilient
• manage her time
• budget her finances
• manage stress
• capable of learning new things
• cope with difficult situations
• communicate well.

Learning points

Now look again at Scott’s timeline, which also has learning points added.

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Figure 2.6 Scott’s timeline with learning points added

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Ten text boxes connected by lines illustrate Scott’s experiences over time. In addition, six coloured boxes represent the learning points he gained from some of the events and experiences in the timeline. The timeline starts in the bottom left-hand corner of the diagram, with the first two boxes representing low points in Scott’s life when he left school in 2010 and had personal and family problems. Time moves from left to right across the diagram. Box three represents a four-year period between 2010 and 2014 when Scott attended college, completed an NPA childcare course and in 2013 began an HNC in Social Care. This made him think ‘I am resilient. I know how to stay positive.’ At this time he was also volunteering with children’s organisations (box four, on the left of the diagram) and experienced a high point by completing his charity fundraising despite physical challenges that were ongoing since school (box 5, top left on the diagram). Learning points here are ‘I enjoy learning. I can gain qualifications’ as well as ‘I can achieve goals I set myself. Physical goals make me happy.’ Another high point is represented in box six by the support Scott received from the college counsellor in 2012. Other positive support was received from a young adult care worker and other young adult carers in 2013 (box seven). Both these experiences made Scott realise that ‘it’s good not to feel isolated, and it’s good to talk through troubles’. Scott has had ongoing college placements. including one with adults with learning disabilities in 2014. Boxes nine and ten (on the right of the diagram) represent further positive events in Scott’s life, with his cleaning job at a carer’s centre since 2013 and finally being an advocate for carers at national events, which he has also done since 2013. Scott’s final learning point is the realisation that ‘My confidence is increasing. I can manage different responsibilities.’ Overall, the boxes in Scott’s timeline form a slight upward trend from bottom left to top right as his experiences become generally more positive over time.

Figure 2.6 Scott’s timeline with learning points added

Scott’s learning points are linked to different areas of life, as well as over time. Very early on he realised he enjoys learning and that gaining qualifications brings confidence.

He made it through some tough personal experiences and family troubles, and feels proud to have got through these difficult times. This made Scott feel resilient and he has learned how to look on the positive side of life.

Gaining support from the young adult carers group was a very positive experience. Scott learned that it was not good for him to stay isolated, and that being part of a supportive group has helped him develop his confidence. He has learned that his well-being is also supported by setting and achieving the physical goals of fundraising activities. These three boxes are part of Scott’s ‘ups’.

Listen to what Scott says about what he has learned from experience.

Download this video clip.Video player: scott_snippet.mp4

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Transcript

Scott

I care for my wee brother he’s got epilepsy, suffers from epilepsy and he’s now 12.

Being a carer and being a student both at the same time are quite challenging because you’ve got no social life in between that, you’ve got your studying, you’ve got to do your modules and preparing for essays, studying. But between that and working, and coming home to, well for me like taking care of my wee brother, I’ve got to make sure he’s got his medication sorted, it’s prepared for the next day. That it’s all set out throughout the week even, not just for that day. Make sure he’s got enough of it, make sure he’s fed, make sure he’s got clean clothes, make sure his hygiene – all that sort of stuff. So it’s basically looking after another person, but it can be really challenging because your head can be in several different places at the one time. Because you could be sitting doing your essay, but you’re not home, so you could be sitting thinking like oh shit I need to go home and do this, this, this, this. So then you can’t actually think properly because you’re too busy thinking about, well I’m too busy thinking about my brother, if he’s alright, and I’ve got too much stuff to do.

Well I’m doing my HNC in Social Care the now, in college. I’ve been in college for the past four years working towards it. But ideally I think I would like to work with children with mental health. Just with the issues that I’ve had when I was younger. I’ve suffered from mental health issues myself, so I think from my own personal experiences, the knowledge that I’ve gained from my course would benefit me from being in college for four years to learn about it. But what the idea is that I’ll leave college, do my HNC, finish that off, go volunteer with kids with mental health issues and see how that goes. And if I still think that that’s the job, that I would like to take it further then I’ll take it on further, then go get my degree and things like that.

The idea is that I would like to work with children with mental health issues. So I’m planning to do that through volunteering to see if I can use my own personal experiences from mental health issues and the knowledge I’ve got from college to help me out with it. See if that’s really what I want to get into. Because there’s no point in getting a job in it or a degree then finding that I can’t handle it. Yeah.

I kinda, I juggle the work because it’s a cleaning job and it kinda just, in a way, it keeps my mind off it because, it’s, I’m physically active and stuff and when I’m doing things for volunteering and stuff like that. Fair enough my wee brother’s still on my mind – it doesn’t leave, but I feel good because I’m kind of giving something to somebody. It’s like usually charity events and stuff that I’ll do, but it doesn’t really ever leave your mind that the person that you’re caring for...

From the past four years that I really struggled with my mental health and my physical well-being and everything, because I was right at the bottom. It was just, I’m pretty certain that it was my brother that kept me going. Because if it wasn’t for him, then, I don’t know, like, it kinda seems that I wouldn’t have a purpose sort of because it seems that he’s my purpose to be here and if I wasn’t here nothing would get done for him and he would be worse off so, I mean I wouldn’t want that. So he needs me and I need him sort of thing like that. And when I sat down and thought about it, I kind of thought like why am I being so selfish like doing things like I was. And thought that I just kind of need to get a grip on my life.

Well, from my experience of being a carer I think that I’ve became, from, definitely from where I was really, really down to where I am now, I’ve became, my physical and mental well-being is definitely so much better. I can handle things a lot better and juggle so much more things, it’s still hard. It doesn’t get any easier but I can certainly juggle issues a bit better. And when I get, like, the likes of bad news or something, I don’t really so much take, because I’ve always been told to look at the positives instead of the negatives – the positives instead of the negatives! [Laughs] – of things. But I mean that can be really hard but I feel like I’ve got better at doing that. I’ve just became more confident within myself and speaking to people and being more open about things that I’ve been through and what’s helped me to get through them and basically sharing what’s helped me.

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Through reflecting on his experiences Scott realised that he applied his skills and personal qualities to manage his caring and studying responsibilities.

Here are some key comments from Scott’s story:

• had very poor mental well-being for a while
• managed to keep going with his studying and caring
• benefited from the support from other young adult carers
• tries to focus on the positive as much as possible.

Scott now:

• has grown in confidence
• recognises his own resilience and coping skills
• has an understanding of what he’d like to achieve and how to get there.

We all experience ups and downs in life: good points and bad points. There may be positive and negative outcomes from each experience as Lesley and Scott’s experiences show.

Whatever our experience, we are learning all the time. Learning is not something that stops when we leave childhood behind. Learning is lifelong. Some learning is about ourselves – the type of person we are and our strengths and qualities. Other learning is about skills, qualifications, understanding ideas and concepts, or the society we live in.

If you created your own timeline you might want to try out the follow-on activity.

Activity 2.3

In the previous activity, carers looked at their life experiences, focusing particularly on their caring roles. You may also find it interesting to try this activity for yourself.

Looking backwards, looking forwards

You have been sharing in the experiences of carers as they look back at their life experiences, or at a particular period in their life. Lesley’s timeline showed that there are ups and downs, and that a number of factors have influenced her life. While she has control over some things, such as choosing nursing, or choosing to live in Scotland, other factors, like her son’s disabilities or her own back problems, are outside her control.

Having looked back on the carers’ journeys, in the next session you will be looking forwards and exploring factors that influence the choices the carers made about their future.

Later in the course you’ll think about carers’ support networks and what might help or hinder them in achieving their goals. Understanding the things that can be changed, and the things that have to be worked around, will help people to plan their next steps and find support for achieving them. This is something to bear in mind in your role as a manager.

To start you thinking about the factors that influence carers’ lives, have a look at Figure 2.7, which features Lesley’s experience.

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Figure 2.7 Spider diagram of the main factors in Lesley’s life

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This diagram represents the factors that have been an influence in Lesley’s life. It is a spray diagram of boxes arranged around a central box like the numbers on a clock face, attached by the spokes of a wheel to the centre box. The box in the centre of the spider diagram reads ‘Lesley’. Ten boxes surround this central box, each connected by a separate line to the centre box. From the top of the diagram, moving clockwise, the first box reads ‘Carers centre staff and other carers’. Box 2 states ‘Children’s needs – health, education, childcare’. At the three o’clock position, the box reads ‘Lesley’s own health’, followed by ‘Rural location – transport options’ (box 4). ‘Opportunities for study, distance learning, and local college’ constitute box 5, while box 6 at the bottom of the diagram states ‘At a cross roads, what to do?’ Boxes 7 and 8 are both connected to the centre on the same line, forming a single spoke on the diagram at 8 o’clock. The big influence (inner box 7) represents her ‘financial situation’ and is in turn connected to box 8 (on the outside end of the spoke) entitled ‘job availability and flexibility’, which has a direct impact on her financial situation. Time restraints, e.g. school holidays, and Lesley’s qualifications and work experience form the content of the remaining two boxes (and influences) on Lesley’s life in the top left corner of the diagram.

Figure 2.7 Spider diagram of the main factors in Lesley’s life

Summary

In Session 1 you started to look at carers’ roles, skills and qualities. You were also invited to think about your own. The key point here was that by reflecting on our experiences, we learn something from them that helps us to move on.

Session 2 has shown how drawing a timeline is useful for plotting what happened and when, so that we can reflect on how we feel about these experiences, what we have learned from them, and how they have helped to shape us as a person.

Have the activities been useful? Did you learn anything new from the examples provided by carers, or by creating your own timeline?

If you would like to spend more time thinking about timelines, view The Open University’s example of how to create a timeline on the OU Careers pages.

You have now completed Session 2 but will explore these ideas further in Session 3.

Acknowledgements

Caring Counts: a reflection and planning course for carers was written by Lindsay Hewitt and Sarah Burton, quizzes by Julie Robson, The Open University.

This course was redeveloped to create Caring_Counts_in_the_Workplace in collaboration with Gill Ryan from NHS Education for Scotland and the Scottish Social Services Council’s Equal Partners in Care project, together with Sue McLintock (Carers Scotland) from the Scottish Government’s Carer Positive initiative.

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Figure 2.1: © Revensis/Dreamstime.com

Figure 2.4: Marek Uliasz/Dreamstime.com

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