Figure 1 What do they have in common?Look again, and make a note of what you think each of them is communicating.(a)
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Bird singing – could be trying to defend its territory or attract a mate.Ambulance with flashing lights and siren – get out of the way, I’m in a hurry.Phone with incoming text message – someone wants to ask or tell another person something.Cat winding itself around its owner’s feet and purring loudly – this usually means they want their dinner!Person holding another’s hand – offering comfort or kindness.Baby crying – their only way to tell you something is wrong.Phone ringing and person answering – someone wants to ask or tell another person something.Radio/TV with news coming on – information about what’s going on in the world.They are all communicating in some way – they all have something to tell you.We communicate all the time, sometimes without realising it. Something as simple as a raise of the eyebrow, a smile or a frown can convey a clearly understood message from one person to another. In fact, everything we do is communication. We can show people what mood we are in just by the way we walk down the street or by the way we answer the phone. The next activity asks you to think about the ways people communicate.Activity 2Allow about 5 minutesAs you just saw, there are many ways to communicate. See if you can write down at least ten of them here.Here are just some of them: blogbody languageemaileye contactFacebooklettersphysical gesturespictures podcastradio sign languageSkypespeechtelephonetexttouchTVTwittervoice-simulatorand many more.1.1 Barriers to communicationGood communication is vital in social care. It enables us to build relationships with the people we care for and their families, develop relationships with people we work with and other professionals, provide clear information and carry out appropriate reporting and recording.From the time we get up to the time we go to sleep, we are communicating. We can have hundreds of moments in a day when we are communicating in many different ways, and with many people. But not everyone is that fortunate. Some people have real difficulties with communicating what they want from us, and this can sometimes lead to behaviour that we find hard to deal with due to their frustration at not being able to make themselves understood and get their needs met. When we communicate, it’s not just about the actual words we use (verbal communication). We also need to think about the way we say those words – our tone of voice, the speed of our words, how loudly or softly we are speaking (vocal communication) and what our bodies – especially our faces and hands – are saying. This body language is called visual communication and it includes the way we stand or move our bodies, the way we use our hands, the expression on our faces and the eye contact we make. Activity 3Allow about 15 minutesWatch this video:
If waiters were honest
If waiters were honestWAITRESS 1Hey guys, I’ll be your server – I’m only smiling because I want you to tip me as much as possible!WAITER 1Oh what do I recommend? The restaurant next door – it’s delicious!WAITRESS 2Hi there, I’m super hung over – can I get you some waters?WAITRESS 1Ha-ha I’m laughing at your dumb jokes purely out of obligation!WAITER 2Aww you brought your baby to the restaurant – that’s going to make my life a nightmare!WAITRESS 3Here is your food. I hope you don’t notice I snagged a few fries off your plate.WAITRESS 4I’m telling you I’m gonna go ask the chef, but I’m really going to go in the kitchen, count to 10, come back and say no!WAITER 1Hi guys, this plate is hot, I’m just trying to tough it out!WAITRESS 2Yes I caught you staring at my boobs – no they are not on the menu!WAITER 2Not only do I have change for a five, but I can also make it rain!WAITRESS 3Your appetizer is taking a long time because I completely forgot about you!WAITRESS 4If you ask for the cheque I’ll get it! If you do this air signature I’ll take my sweet time!WAITER 1Are you finished with that because I would love to take the rest of it in the back and eat it off your plate!!WAITRESS 3I’m telling you the max I can split is three credit cards, but really I’m just feeling lazy today!WAITRESS 1Be nice to me and I’ll be nice to your food!MUSIC: “After Midnight” by Warner/Chappell Production MusicIf you didn’t understand the words these people were saying, what impression would you get of the service you were receiving?Think about what the people in the video were telling you:the words they usethe way they say the wordstheir body language.Which of these did you notice most? Write your thoughts in the box below.It is easy to see from the video that the words we use are only a part of the message we are communicating when we speak. The speech of the people in this video says something entirely different from what they are saying with their tone of voice and body language. Think about this when you are with the people you care for, and consider what message you are giving to them, especially if they can’t understand what you are saying.Visual, verbal and vocal communicationYou are now going to think about visual, verbal and vocal communication, and which of these types of communication we use most often.Activity 4 Allow about 2 minutesWhat percentage of our communication is verbal, vocal or visual do you think?(a) Visual 43% Vocal 21% Verbal 36%(b) Visual 71% Vocal 2% Verbal 27%(c) Visual 55% Vocal 38% Verbal 7%(c) Visual 55% Vocal 38% Verbal 7%1.2 How do things go wrong?There are lots of ways in which things can go wrong with verbal communication. Listed below are just a few of them.Maybe the person doesn’t understand what you mean.They may misinterpret what you have said.They don’t hear correctly.You may have given too many instructions at once.You chose the wrong time or place to have a difficult conversation.The information may have been confusing.The other person may not speak the same language as you.Have you ever had to deal with some of the situations shown in Figure 2?
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Figure 2 How verbal communication can go wrongWe give messages we aren’t aware of with our body language, especially if the other person has limited understanding of the language being spoken. So you need to take extra care to choose the right time and place, and to give people time to process information. If you keep repeating things because someone with limited understanding hasn’t responded quickly, the process often has to start again.In the next activity you will see how confusion can arise if our words do not always match the other messages we are giving with our body language and facial expressions.Activity 5Allow about 10 minutesRead the case study and then answer the questions that follow.Case study: RosieRosie lives in a supported living unit with five other people with learning disabilities. They are supported by a team of staff. Rosie is able to verbally communicate her needs and emotions clearly, but some staff see her as being very demanding and are not always happy to work with her. Verbally the staff are always pleasant to Rosie, saying all the right things. But their non-verbal communication gives a different message. For example, Rosie asks for her third drink of the morning. Pam, who is trying to watch a programme on television, says ‘Yes, sure Rosie, coming right up’ but when she says it, she sighs and rolls her eyes. She brings back Rosie’s tea and smiles, puts it down muttering ‘What did your last slave die of?’ and walks away, without waiting for any further comment from Rosie.If you were Rosie, how would you feel about this incident, and why?If you were another member of the team, what would you say to Pam?Rosie probably feels that Pam doesn’t like her very much because she has seen Pam’s facial expressions and heard her muttered comments. She is confused because Pam is still smiling and getting her what she asks for.Another member of the team might speak to Pam because her treatment of Rosie is unfair. If Pam thinks Rosie is being demanding, Pam needs to discuss this with the rest of the team and they should agree on coping strategies for those staff who find Rosie difficult to deal with.It is all too easy to get into bad habits when it comes to communicating, as the next activity will show you. Activity 6Allow about 10 minutes Look at the following video and think about the way these staff members are behaving, and how it could be done differently.
Bit of sugar, love?
Bit of sugar, love?PATOh, you’re back. ANNOh, yes. I came back yesterday. PATDid you have a good holiday? ANNOh, yes. We had sunshine every day. PATFantastic. ANNIt was really good. PATAnd then you come back to this – TIMExcuse me, Pat? PATYeah? TIMCould you put me cup a bit closer, please? It’s too far away. PATOh. There you are. TIMSorry. ANNYes. I’ve got tickets to see ‘Bridget Jones II’. PATOh, excellent. Yes. ANNYeah, because I enjoyed the first one so much. PATYes. Yes. ANNAnd Colin Firth – PATWell. ANNI mean, you can watch him every day, can’t you? PATYeah. I wouldn’t have thought it’s quite up John’s street though. ANNWhat do you think he’d like? PATWell, he likes his football, doesn’t he? ANNOh, I’m not going to football. I see enough of that on the telly. PATWatching that, yeah. ANNAnd if he doesn’t like the film, well, it’s a day out anyway. It’s a change of scene. PATYeah. Yeah. ANNSo it’ll just have to wait. PATGet him out. ANNI’ll enjoy it. PATYeah. ANNA bit of sugar, love? There you go. Write down three things you would do differently.The staff are having a conversation over the cared-for person rather than involving him in the conversation. They are also not focusing on their task, which is to help him with his breakfast. They should have focused on ensuring that he was able to reach his drink. When supporting him with his food the staff should ask how he prefers his food and wait for his response, and ensure that he is happy with the way the food is given to him.You may want to take some time outside of this course to consider when your communication has been misunderstood, and what steps you could have taken to eliminate misunderstanding.2 Developing your interpersonal skills In your role of supporting others you will often need to communicate with the people you support, as well as with the other people involved in caring for that person. If you care for someone at home, you may need to speak to social workers or medical professionals, as well as friends, family and neighbours in order to get the right support for that person and for yourself. It is important to make the most of these opportunities, and to do that you may need to develop your interpersonal skills.2.1 What are interpersonal skills?We use our interpersonal skills to communicate and interact with people. Having good interpersonal skills can often result in us having positive relationships with our family, friends and work colleagues especially. We use our interpersonal skills in everything we do. However, these skills are not something we are taught in a classroom. We usually learn them in daily life by seeing others use them with positive results.Here are some examples of interpersonal skills:the ability to express yourself clearly and confidentlybeing aware of body language and facial expressionslistening to others completely and with empathybeing willing to collaborate and work as a teamunderstanding implied rules of behaviourbeing able to assert yourself without making the other person seem small or you to appear angry and aggressivebeing responsible and timelybeing able to speak for, or support, others who are less able to do it for themselves (advocacy).It takes time and practice to develop good communication and interpersonal skills. The more you interact with other people and the more you are exposed to a wide range of experiences, the more likely you are to develop these important qualities. One of the most important interpersonal skills you need in your role as a carer is being able to collaborate and work as a member of a team. Often the people you are caring for will have support from a wide range of people and agencies, and good communication is key to being part of a team that works well.In the next activity you are going to be thinking about the people who make up teams, and how those teams work. You will also have the opportunity to reflect on your own experiences of being part of a team.Activity 7Allow about 10 minutesMarie is a paid carer, who works for an agency. Read her story and then answer the questions that follow.Case study: Marie I have been really busy since I started working for the agency. I have done a lot of work with Leonard Cheshire as a home carer. I feel that I have established a good reputation for reliability as I never like to let my clients down. My kids are quite happy to look after themselves before and after school and they are old enough to leave safely. I think they would like me to be around a bit more, but I tell them that if they want the extras they have to put up with doing more around the house and eating ready meals. They don’t really mind because they can choose what they eat!The manager of the agency says that I am one of her best workers and lots of my regulars know me now and ask after me if I’m not there. She knows I’d prefer permanent work, but the agency pays more otherwise I’d work for Leonard Cheshire permanently.One of the best things about being agency staff is you don’t get involved in all the office politics and I find some of the other carers can be very spiteful, especially about us agency people. They think we don’t work as hard as they do, or that we don’t care about the people we are looking after.It’s hard to find time to get to know other people and they all seem to have friends already, so maybe they don’t want to mix with agency people – I don’t know. I sometimes feel like they resent me because I am paid more than them for the same work, but I tell them they could leave and work for the agency as well. I don’t understand why they don’t if the money is so important.Now see if you can list all the teams that Marie is part of, and say what her role is in each team.What advice could you give Marie about working in each team?Have you worked as part of a team? Was it a successful team? If so, what made it work well?If it was not successful, can you think of why it did not work well?This is a useful activity for reviewing your understanding of the ideas in this section about interpersonal skills. Marie is part of three teams: the agency, Leonard Cheshire and her family.In her agency team Marie is part of a support network for other services.In her Leonard Cheshire team Marie must be flexible, filling whatever role she has been asked to fill, but she does not belong to the wider team, as they see her as an ‘outsider’.In her family team, Marie takes on the role of team leader, and allocates tasks to other members of the team (her children) and expects them to be fulfilled.Advice about working in each teamMarie could develop a better understanding of the agency team that she is part of, and how that supports other teams, such as Leonard Cheshire.Alternatively, she could start to gain a better understanding of the relationships in the group where she spends a lot of time (the Leonard Cheshire team) and where she fits into this.Marie might also look at the change in roles in her family now that she is working longer hours, and whether her children feel they are part of a team.For your own reflection on being part of a team, you probably identified good communication as the reason your team worked well. You probably received clear instructions and everyone understood what they had to do. Or poor communication may have meant that people didn’t really know what was expected of them, or they had misinterpreted instructions that were unclear. You might have considered whether you led the activity or were happy to play a supporting role. You might not have thought your part was important, but looking back on the activity you might now see that everyone has a part to play in a team.3 Are you listening or waiting to speak? Listening is a key part of the communication process and to do it well you need to use your sense of sight as well as hearing. Remember we talked about visual communication in the first section?We can generally process information quicker than we can convert it into a spoken response, so there is a risk that our mind tends to wander. Active listening is about consciously focusing for a specific purpose and is an essential part of activities like counselling or attending meetings and reviews about the people you are supporting. To be an active listener you need to clarify and confirm the other person’s spoken thoughts, as well as taking in their non-verbal messages.How long do you actually listen to another person before interrupting? How quickly do your own thoughts take over and you start thinking about what question to ask or how to reply even before the other person has finished speaking? Do you find yourself interrupting the person to give your own opinion or to finish their sentences before they are finished?3.1 Listening is not the same as hearingHearing refers to the sounds that you hear, but listening needs you to focus. Listening means paying attention not only to the words but to how they are said. What kind of language is being used? What is the tone of voice telling you? What does the person’s body language tell you? You need to be aware of both verbal and non-verbal messages, and your ability to be a good listener depends on how well you see and understand these messages.Activity 8Allow about 15 minutesWatch this TED talk about the art of active listening.