Learning Session 4: Pleasure anatomy

Introduction

Figure 4.1 Learning about anatomy

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This photograph shows a classroom with the teacher pointing out parts of the female reproductive system which are printed on an apron being worn by a female student.

Figure 4.1 Learning about anatomy

This session aims to help you to ensure that sexual pleasure is included in sessions which focus on the body and anatomy.

Sexuality education has often focused on bodies and anatomy. While this is obviously a very important element, it’s also now agreed that a more modern and positive approach to teaching about sexuality includes a wider understanding of sexuality and wellbeing – and sexual pleasure in particular. If we only teach about bodies in relation to reproduction, we exclude young people who want sex but not children, and people who cannot have children but still want to have sex.

When teaching about pleasure and the body it’s a good idea to start gently, by talking about sensitive parts of the body before focusing specifically on the sexual organs, arousal and orgasm. This is also the structure that this learning session follows. The last section of this learning session talks about the importance of recognising that ‘good feelings’ in your mind and emotions carry through to your body for a complete and satisfying sexual experience.

Like all the learning sessions in Part Two, this learning session aims to offer you lots of ideas for activities to use within your existing CSE sessions. It contains a mixture of activities for you to do yourself to prepare for teaching, and activities to use within a CSE session. By the end of Session 4 you should:

• Have some new ideas about how to include pleasure within CSE sessions you are leading which focus on the body and anatomy
• Feel more confident about including pleasure within the learning sessions that you are teaching.

4.1 Sensitive parts of the body

Our first activity starts gently by exploring the sensitive parts of the body. It aims to help young people to understand that sexual pleasure comes from more than just the genitals.

Activity 4.1: Body parts

Timing: Allow about 10 minutes to do this activity

Draw two gender-neutral bodies on a whiteboard, chalkboard or sheet of paper, one from the front, one from the side, like this:

Figure 4.2 Body outlines, from the front and side

Now ask the group ‘What parts of the body are involved in sex, desire and pleasure? If no one mentions the brain (where much sexual response actually starts), you can add it and ask what they think you mean.

Make sure that all the areas with lines shown in the pictures below are mentioned. If not, you can point to an area and ask ‘what about this part?’ You can explain that different parts of the body are more or less sensitive or pleasurable for different people.

Figure 4.3 Body outlines, from the front and side with lines for labels

The next two sections focus on the sexual organs but the points made by this activity are really important as well: that many parts of the body can be sexually sensitive; that different people find different parts of the body sexual; and that the brain and emotions play a vital role in sexual arousal.

4.2 Different words for different contexts

The next two activities are for you to do on your own, to help you prepare to lead sessions on pleasure and anatomy. It will help you to reflect on which words for sexual organs you feel more and less comfortable using, and aims to make it easier for you to use appropriate terminology within your CSE sessions.

Figure 4.4 Your terminology toolbox

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A cartoon of a toolbox

Figure 4.4 Your terminology toolbox

We often think of terms for the sexual organs as either ‘correct’ or ‘rude’ but it’s more helpful to think of all the different terms as a resource – a bit like a toolbox where you choose which tool is best for a particular communication.

In a CSE session, it’s important that you are direct and specific and use language which is familiar to young people as well as more scientific terms. The young people in your sessions may use different terms than those you are used to, and they need to be able to express themselves comfortably in the classroom setting, without worrying about being offensive to you or to each other.

Remember that not everyone will have the same sensibilities when it comes to language, and talking about sexual matters requires sensitivity to the feelings of others. So any terms you feel may be questionable should be discussed in an open and honest way.

Rather than telling young people a term is ‘wrong’, open it up in class for discussion. You might all learn something!

The next activity is very quick, but is worth spending a few minutes on, to help you get more comfortable with talking about the genitals. This is an activity for you to do before your CSE sessions.

4.3 The sexual organs

The next activity is a resource for teaching about the sexual organs in a CSE session.

You can also do an exercise similar to the one in Activity 4.3 in your CSE groups, to help young people think about the different words they know for the sexual organs and which types of words might be appropriate for different contexts.

4.4 Arousal and orgasms

The next activity develops knowledge about sexual pleasure by focusing on arousal and on the clitoris.

Watch the following film yourself first to make a decision about whether it is appropriate for you to use in your CSE classes. If you do decide to show it, perhaps to an older group, Activity 4.6 offers some suggestions on how to develop a discussion around it.

Activity 4.6 Lust and pleasure

Timing: Allow about 30 minutes to do this activity

Show the film Lust and pleasure:

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Transcript

Information from RFSU about lust and pleasure.

Everyone is unique and this is

why you have to find your own way to

enjoy your body.

Some people think the most pleasurable thing is to be stroked

all over, while others enjoy putting something in the vagina.

Your body has many pleasurable places to discover.

Trying out new places can feel exciting.

Many people discover what gives them

pleasure and they often do the same

things each time they have sex.

Even though people can find pleasure all over

the body, some parts are particularly

sensitive to touch. The clitoris is the

part that is the most sensitive to

sexual touch. Stroking the clitoris is

also the way most women have an orgasm.

Parts of the clitoris are outside the

body. The head and the foreskin. If you've

been circumcised the outer parts may

have been removed but most of the

clitoris is inside the body. When you

become aroused the vagina opens and

becomes deeper, your sexual organs swell

and become extra sensitive to touch. The

erectile tissue of the clitoris is

filled with blood and you have an

erection. The same thing happens to the

penis, it swells and also becomes extra

sensitive to touch. This is particularly

true for the head of the penis.

When you become aroused slippery

moisture is created by the walls of your

vagina. This moisture is called

lubrication. If you don't have

lubrication it can be unpleasant or even

painful to have sex. The same is true for

putting something in the vagina. If you

don't have a lot of lubrication you can

use a lubricant but a lubricant won't

make sex pleasurable if you aren't

aroused at the same time. If you use a

lubricant together with a condom, only

use water or silicone-based lubricants

because using oil can make the condom

break. The most important pleasure centre

in your body is your brain, what you

think about and feel before sex about

your body and about your partner all

these have an effect on your ability to

enjoy sex. You have to want to have sex

in order to enjoy it.

You can have sex with others or by

yourself. Having sex with yourself is

called masturbation and it's something

most people do no matter what their

gender. Many also masturbate even if

they have a partner, sometimes together,

sometimes alone. Different things can be

pleasurable at different times, that's

why it's important to be open and

curious about the other person's wishes

and boundaries. Finding a way to show and

tell your partner what you like often

makes sex better and more pleasurable.

End transcript

 

Interactive feature not available in single page view (see it in standard view).

Now ask participants:

Was there anything in the film that was new to you or surprised you?

In your discussion, you may wish to bring out some of the following points.

Note:

• You could also show the class the diagrams below, which are also in the image bank.

• You can also order a model life-size clitoris from RFSU (the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education) or other internet resources.

Figure 4.5 The clitoris is much bigger than the parts that can be seen

Figure 4.6 Diagram of the clitoris, including the parts which are not visible

The clitoris

1. The clitoris is much larger than people often assume and has internal and external parts.
2. Stimulation of the clitoris is the most common way for women to have an orgasm.

Arousal

1. The film focuses on arousal in the female body – people often focus more on arousal in the male body, but both are equally important to understand.
2. You might want to include information about male arousal in the discussion, or at least be prepared for questions about it.

First-time sex

1. There is a common myth that it will – or should – hurt for a woman or girl when she has vaginal intercourse for the first time.
2. It’s connected to the myth about the hymen and that it is something that breaks the first time it’s penetrated, and that it can break from riding a horse or doing physical activities.
3. It is also not true that all vaginal coronas tear and bleed the first time they are penetrated – in fact it is more common for them not to bleed.

Orgasm

1. A simple way to explain an orgasm is to say that it is “the peak of sexual feeling”.
2. An orgasm doesn’t feel the same every time; sometimes it is weaker, sometimes stronger.
3. Very young children who have not reached puberty can also experience orgasms.

The ‘orgasm gap’

1. Men have orgasms more often than women when they have sex with a partner.
2. Women have more orgasms when they have sex with another woman, but significantly fewer when they have sex with a man.
3. Men have the same number of orgasms whether their partner is a man or a woman.
4. Here you could ask the group why they think men have more orgasms than women.

4.5 Pleasurable feelings

The next activity works well at the end of a session on anatomy, as a way to tie it all together.

Alternatively, you could use this activity on its own in a more general session. It asks participants to think about ‘good feelings’ when they are in a sexual situation and helps them to think about the difference between feelings in their body, mind and emotions.

Summary

In this learning session you have explored some resources around anatomy and the body which focus on the role the body plays in sexual pleasure. Understanding the role of anatomy in sexual pleasure helps people to have more enjoyable sex, and this can help to build better relationships. Having studied this session, you should now:

• Have some new ideas about how to include pleasure within CSE sessions you are leading which focus on anatomy and the body.
• Feel more confident about including pleasure within these sessions.

There are also some further resources on the next page if you would like to explore some of these topics in more detail.

In the next learning session, you will find some resources to help you to include discussion of sexual pleasure within sessions you are leading with focus on sexual behaviours and practices.

Further resources

If you would like to explore ‘good feelings’ further, Sex on the map is an animated educational film aimed at teenagers. In the film, we follow Abdu and Melody in their fumbling attempts to have sex for the first time with a partner.

You could just watch this film yourself, or, if you think it is suitable and you have the capacity to show films in your CSE sessions, you could show it to the young people in your group. There are teaching notes to help you.

You could ask the participants to identify the moments in the film when:

a) Melody and Abdu have good feelings in their emotions, minds and bodies.

b) Melody and/or Abdu maybe do not have good feelings.

Sex: Your own way is an English-language booklet which has been designed for teenagers by the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education (RFSU). You can read this for ideas on how to put the concepts learnt in this learning session into straightforward language. Pages 8–13 give more detail on pleasant bodily sensations and the body’s sensual places.

Read more about the orgasm gap.

Read more about the vaginal corona.

Watch a short video clip from the RFSU about the vaginal corona.

Now you can go to Learning Session 5.