6.6 Meet Rejeli: what can we learn from her experience?
You are now going to follow the experience of Rejeli (one of Priya’s team-mates) who is being abused by the same senior manager.
Rejeli’s experience: spotting the signs of abuse
The purpose of this activity is to think about the signs that could indicate Rejeli is being abused.
Read her account, and then respond to the question that follows.
‘About a year ago I met this senior manager. He’d just got an important job at the rugby federation. He always made a point of talking to us – usually at mealtimes or in the games room in the evening. I had some long chats with him about rugby and how I wanted to improve – he knows a lot about the game and seemed genuinely interested.
But this one time, most of the others had gone out somewhere and I ended up on my own with him. Then he just flipped – suddenly lunged and grabbed me. Said if I didn’t want to be dropped from the team I’d have to ‘be nice’ to him. I was terrified. Shocked and numb. I knew exactly what he meant – he wanted me to have sex with him. He took me to his room….
It’s awful, and I feel ashamed……but I have no choice. Since then, it’s happened whenever the squad have gone away to camps and matches. I dread seeing him and hate what he makes me do.’
What physical and behavioural signs might someone notice that indicate that Rejeli is unhappy and may be experiencing abuse?
A physical sign is something that you can see – like the type of clothing someone is wearing, or whether someone has washed their clothes or hair. It also includes things like bruises or being sick.
A behavioural sign is about how someone reacts or behaves in certain situations, like getting upset, or becoming withdrawn. It is connected to a person’s emotions and how they are feeling.
For each of the following indicators, choose from the drop-down menu whether it is a physical indicator or a behavioural indicator.
Comment
These are the kind of signs that Rejeli’s teammates, coaches or others may have noticed. She is clearly unhappy with her situation, and this is likely to show in a number of ways whether or not she intended to reveal what she is experiencing.
You will notice that some of these signs don’t necessarily indicate that Rejeli is experiencing sexual abuse – however all of them should give rise to concerns that something may be seriously wrong for her – and should be referred to your Safeguarding Lead.
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| Advice for all adults in sport |
You shouldn’t expect children to tell you about their abuse – so having an awareness of the signs and symptoms of abuse is important. |
6.5 What are other reasons why children don’t disclose abuse?
