2.2.2 A conversations audit
Kantor suggests that leaders ask the following questions about communication in their organisation or team to do a better job of ‘reading the room’, uncovering communication problems, and identifying opportunities for change (Kantor, 2012b):
- How often do I/does my team member: initiate topics; agree with or carry forward, or challenge, the direction others suggest; stay back and observe others without commenting much; or observe and then make comments about the nature of the conversation?
- Who is actively participating in the conversation? Is this typical of how the group interacts?
- Do I/does my team member prefer that everyone contribute to a conversation, or get faster conclusions without hearing from as many people?
- Do I/does my team member prefer to talk about material issues – money or timing – emotional issues, or issues of general principle?
- How often are there clashes between members based on differences in preferences to talk about material, emotional, or general principle issues?
- How often does my own preference to speak about material, emotional, or general principle issues affect who I support in conversation and who I do not?
- Are individuals/am I moving fluidly between different communication preferences or are they/am I locked into one?
Hopefully this list will be useful for your own practice. It is not exhaustive and you may well have some alternative ideas. You will also note that this list places as much emphasis on you and your own practice as on others. Even if you are unable to encourage others to adopt a different approach to conversations, you could always experiment with adopting a different approach yourself.
Activity 2 Applying the four-player model
Apply the four-player model to your regular work this week. Use it to analyse either a work meeting or a gathering of friends or family. If you notice the conversation getting stuck, try to unstick it by adopting one of the roles in the model.
Can you come up with some action points for how you could improve the conversations you have observed?
Comment
The model can feel awkward if you are staging a conversation simply to test its validity. It is much better applied to naturally occurring practice. The most obvious dynamic you are likely to reveal by applying the model is that one person or a few key people always seem to ‘move’ instead of responding to others. Dealing with this dynamic can be tricky, as you might want to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings by accusing them of dominating. The model itself can act as a useful way into potentially difficult conversations about conversations, as it is a notionally neutral model that people can apply and play with – it is not about anyone being judgmental about others.
You will now move on to the related practice of posing questions.