1 Ellen reflects on the challenge of offering robust conflict
Before you get started, listen to this audio extract from Ellen of Family Time.
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Transcript
ELLEN
Meetings-- we all say we dislike them, but we all still have so many of them, don't we? Meetings could be really good opportunities for people to have a say, for being fair and open with people. I'm not sure that's really the case, though. They can be as much about covering yourself, about showing others that you're following procedures. And they can be so-- what's the word-- technocratic? Caught up in the details of this or that spreadsheet.
And that stuff's important-- the facts, the evidence. But I sometimes wonder if we're so caught up in that that people feel like they're incapable of speaking up. It's because it's a different language, isn't it? Numbers, acronyms, all of that.
I've been sitting here thinking about two meetings this week. The first of them was with my team at Family Time. We were discussing our financial position. And I took the team through loads of spreadsheets, our five year plan, all of it-- very technical, but essential.
And things are looking pretty good. We're diversified in our funding, which just means that if one or two things go wrong we will at least still exist. There was mostly silence from people, of course-- the odd small technical question, all very smooth. Part of me was relieved by that, because less questions means less headaches.
But I admit that part of me also wanted to face a bit more challenge. The team can be very polite, even deferential sometimes. There are a lot of hard questions that could have been asked, decisions we've made-- well, decisions, mostly I've made, to be honest-- that are not perfect. Don't know if they're right or wrong-- could go either way.
But what happens if I fall under a bus tomorrow? I want the team to challenge me more. Which sounds odd, doesn't it really? That I want my life made harder.
The thing is, though-- I really need people to be a bit less polite to me. I want them to argue the toss. A lot of this is my fault, I suppose, because it's natural that people are intimidated by the boss. But how do I show them that it's OK-- in fact, it's really quite welcome-- to have a bit of a row about stuff.
We all care about this organisation and the work that it does. So why don't we just show it and bring our passions and our fears to the table? I'll never take that personally, even though I know many managers would. I just think of it as being good practise.
And then there was the second meeting. Well, so, we're in this partnership with the local authority, the police, the local health board, a couple of other charities, and even the football club is in there. And the point of it is around parenting and doing some intervention work early on. It's because, well, some parents struggle. That's life, isn't it?
And they don't always trust the official authorities coming through with their forms and procedures. It must feel really threatening. So we do more informal work-- support stuff. We're their critical friends, I suppose. We do role models, provide information, try and make the whole thing a bit more fun.
And the thing is that this partnership is great-- well, good anyway. But it's only come about, if we're honest, because of cuts to the existing services, things like our children centre that were actually crucial. We're trying our best to make this work and actually talking more than we used to together, bringing in volunteers, people who want to do stuff for their community, from retired grandads and grans to football players. But if I'm being honest, we don't cover anywhere near as much as when there were more funds available and there was more structure.
Our meetings, though, they're very task-focused. Great. We need to deliver good services-- that's crucial. But I get the feeling a lot of the time that there's this huge elephant in our meeting room. And it's really big, believe me. It's got bells on it. Someone's painted it with bright yellow food dye. It's a conspicuous thing, all right.
That elephant is that we're all being really nice about where we are, constructive, and getting on with the job. But don't we also have a responsibility to shout out about what these cuts have really done to struggling families, to the kids? And it's dicey stuff, because we're not politicians. I'm pretty much a swing voter, actually.
I do feel, though, that we see things. And we have great knowledge about what's really going on and could be using it to be more, well, more blimming awkward, I suppose, to have that voice-- that voice that nobody wants to listen to but that voice that needs to be heard-- and take people on, really campaign for more and for better for those children.
Anyway, that's that. Time for more reflection, I think.
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In this extract, Ellen reflects on conflict within her organisation and external to it. She wants her staff to be bolder in terms of how they talk to her and how they relate to her: to be more open about what they stand for and believe in. Such an approach, she hopes, would lead to more helpful insights and ideas. Ellen recognises that she could do more to create the kind of culture and atmosphere that would enable such ways of working but needs to reflect more on how a more challenging workplace might be achieved. Equally, she is frustrated that some of the bigger picture issues her organisation is concerned with are not being addressed. Ellen wants her collaboration to be more challenging, in terms of the people around the table pushing one another more, but is rightly nervous about how to go about doing so.
Before getting underway with the two sections on conflict in practice, you will be introduced to the basic concept of conflict for voluntary organisations and a perspective known as ‘agonism’ as a useful way for thinking about the issues ahead.