5.2: Young people’s care practices and caring relationships

The Children Caring on the Move research suggested that ‘care’ means lots of different things to different unaccompanied young people. Young people talked to us about their relationships with other young people, and how they care for each other (see also Section 3.2 [Tip: hold Ctrl and click a link to open it in a new tab. (Hide tip)] ). Sometimes, young people take a ‘family-like’ role, and other times they become mentors/advisors to other young people. Clearly, there are also important relationships with social care professionals and other key adults. Let’s watch the second segment of film.

Activity 5.2: Seeing ‘You’

Timing: Allow 20 minutes

In the second half of the film, the young people talk about the variety of relationships they have with other young people and adults. After watching the second part of the video, draw a mind map on a piece of paper, depicting the relationships with significant others these young people talk about and reflect on the following:

• What made them important?
• What do you think young people value as caring in these relationships?

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Transcript

SPEAKER 1:

So they can take you anywhere, you know? They put you somewhere, maybe like for three months or six months. And then you get used to the area. You make friends. And again, they take you from there. Maybe they take you to Plymouth, Gloucester. So I feel like it's life of real starting over again, and again, and again until you're granted. So they keep on changing. I don't like it.

SPEAKER 2:

Friends are family here. At the beginning, I used to feel like I'm alone here. Nobody cares about me. But then after you get a relationship and stuff, you start feeling differently. I feel very happy, like I can be someone else. I could do something more than I used to be, because I know that I have support of others.

SPEAKER 3:

It's like, my first Social Worker was a lovely person. I got to say my first one was so lovely. She helped me. She came to Home Office with me. She used to check with me for everything. Maybe I was 17, and then when I changed, when I was 18, oh my god! I was like... for two years, it was just... I don't know why she was so racist with me, but it was so horrible. I had made complaints and I complained to her manager. And her manager said to me, "if you don't like it, go back to your country." And I was like, I don't know where to complain anymore. I was lost.

SPEAKER 4:

When I turned 18, my Youth 18+ Worker, he's kind of like, "you don't need me." I cried a lot, like one week before I turned 18. Oh my god! I did not love it. Can I just sleep and wake up? I'm dead because it's hard. You know that pressure. You need to pay bills. Like, will I manage?

SPEAKER 2:

I've not had a good experience with the Social Services at all. Like, they're just terrible. Thank god I have a good Foster Carer. She's just like, "don't worry, I've got you. I'm not going to let you be homeless" and things like that. I'm probably fortunate to have a good Foster Carer, when I think about other young people who don't really have that support. What are they going through? I can at least run to someone. But what are those who don't have anyone to run to going through?

SPEAKER 5:

Obviously, the Social Services, they don't care. The Social Workers, especially the Social Worker, because you are not the only case that he has to care about. Maybe something like 10 people, they've got the same Social Worker. Maybe 10 or 20 people got the same social worker. But he or she can't do the same thing for every single person.

End transcript

 

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Discussion

You may have noted that the clip can be split into three broad areas:

1. Disruption to relationships.
2. Developing care relationships with other young people.
3. Developing relationships with adults.

It is clear from this clip that establishing relationships with other young people is an incredibly important part of their experience. However, a disruption to the continuity of these relationships can have a negative impact.

You may have got a sense of how significant their care relationship with other young people can be. For example, one young person felt very alone when they arrived in the UK, but in establishing relationships realised there was a lot of potential in the development of a new self in a new context – being someone new and ‘doing more’ with the support of other young people.

Not surprisingly, adult relationships, when positive, were extremely impactful. Hopefully, you noted that a positive adult relationship was framed in terms of kindness or being ‘lovely’ and being present or helpful – someone who ‘checks-in’ and are part of the key processes such as Home Office interviews. Someone to turn to, to manage challenging situations. Arguably, these are small but important acts of care.

But, when relationships were negative, you may have noted a link with racist attitudes and, in difficult relationships, nowhere to turn. The young people also recognised that social workers were overburdened with cases, making care challenging.

As mentioned earlier, a key focus on the CCoM project was to explore the experiences of young people’s care of each other. Building trust and relying on other young people for care was one example mentioned by one of our interviewees. Rehl describes how the young people in their shared house engage in a range of small acts of care:

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‘There was care workers, but they are helping you if you have a problem and something like that. They didn’t tell you, “Go this way, and then this way.” And then there was young people in here, and they always helped me with everything, to buy food… even I don’t know how to go shopping and to buy any food and anything, so they are really helping me to go shopping, to take a bus, everything, they are really helping me like that, even if I have an appointment…’ (Rehl).

If we reflect on the phases and moral elements of care that you explored in Section 2.1, these small acts of support come under the phase of ‘caregiving’ and ‘competence’. The young people in Rehl’s house were able to share their own learned competences and, in turn, were providing everyday forms of care.

Whilst we tend to hear, or focus on, the most negative stories about the relationships between young people and the adults in social care situations, some of the young people in our study did mention the acts of care that they valued from adults. Mario discusses this in this next quote:

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‘I had a long experience with [my social worker/PA], she was amazing… she cares beyond... She would listen to us, and she had an understanding of where we come from and what type of people we are, so what type of [person] I am… She works extra hours, putting her 18- or 25-year-old son in the home and telling them to do something for dinner and spending time here trying to fix things for us. She would come at six o’clock in the morning to take me or my friend, so the people who are living together, to any appointment, and getting home late… I cannot remember all the things that she does, but she would call us and she would know everything what we’re doing now, what we do, and what are we going to do. And well, what can I say, you know? So this is the only thing I can remember, but I know she is perfect…’ (Mario).

As we know from Section 3.2, going above and beyond like the social worker in this quote can be emotionally draining and demanding.