4.2 Changing the conversation
‘Social media especially. It’s the worse for it. It’s just slabbering [being provocative or insulting].’
(Boy 1, the Shankill)
‘You get people that put up videos of the riots and all. Say one side would be like aye with tricolours [Irish flag]. And then the other side would be Union Jacks [British Flag]. People like put up videos people of throwing bricks and putting in car windows and all that stuff.’
(Boy 2, the Shankill)
Social media can be a hateful space. This is something the boys in the Shankill talked about a lot. Offensive language can also be really hurtful to experience, and it can be tempting to use this language yourself whether to goad someone you are angry with or in retaliation when there are issues you feel strongly about. So how can you change the conversation?
Activity 11: Using your head on social media
Timing: 20 minutes
Watch Video 4, with another one of the March for our lives founders Cameron Kansky reflecting on what he has learned in 2021. Take notes as you listen to what he is saying.
Download this video clip.Video player: Video 4: Cameron Kansky’s reflection on the
Transcript: Video 4: Cameron Kansky’s reflection on the March for our lives
CAMERON KASKY
My name is Cameron Kasky. I am 18 years old now. After a horrible tragedy at my school, my friends and I came together to try to change the narrative of school shootings.
Our job is to protect our country. And if our elected officials aren’t doing it, we have to step up. So we came together and started a movement that was very much mobilized by social media. We were tweeting out a lot. We were using our Instagram to connect with other people and show them our messaging in a really accessible way.
We didn’t really plan to do a social media based movement, we planned to do a movement. And we didn’t even think about what it was like a base it into social media because that’s just how we interact with each other. And it was hard.
And over the course of the year, we have been harassed online. I received countless death threats. I received very lewd images in my Instagram direct messages.
We were attacked like adults, but we were not defended by kids. I have personally said things online that I’m sure I’ll look at as an adult and not be very thrilled about. And a lot of us learned a lot about how we interact with each other in social media.
There are a lot of things about the Parkland movement that I think are amazing and a lot of things I regret. But one thing I can tell you that is my point of pride after all of this is that people don’t remember Parkland as the city that was destroyed. People remember Parkland as the city that was strong and brave enough to stand up and say, we are not going to let you get away with another one of these.
The one lesson I wish I had learned before all this started was that the internet, while it’s not real life, is becoming a part of it. It’s all about remembering that the social media exists to supplement personal connections and not replace them. Behind every single account on Twitter, unless they’re a bot, there’s a human being typing. And that person might not realize just who they’re interacting with.
So you feel like it doesn’t mean anything. And you feel like the people who see your comments aren’t affected by it. We are now a part of this large ocean of connection and it’s now our job to be responsible. We need to hold ourselves accountable so somebody else doesn’t do it for us.
I used to look down on people. I put myself on a pedestal. And I encouraged a lot of my friends to do it as well.
I treated people who disagreed with me like they weren’t as good human beings as I was. I did a Town Hall debate at CNN. Emotions were high, and just a week ago, people that I loved were killed. I went up and asked my Senator Marco Rubio, if he would stop taking money from the NRA. Can you tell me right now that you will not accept a single donation from the NRA.
And I wish I had stopped it there, but before that, I compared him to the likeness of the shooter for my school. I became part of the problem. Because I went up there on that debate to make another human being look bad as a human being and not as a politician. Because I wanted to go up there and embarrass him. I wanted to ruin his career.
I did not do that to benefit the conversation. I did not do that to benefit our discourse as human beings. I did that to make another person look bad. I learned a lesson from it.
And I’m thrilled that we went out there and I’m thrilled that we were able to make this conversation such a national topic. But at the end of the day, I’m never going to do something like that again. That’s where we can stop this.
We had counter-protesters at all our events who were the same people who were commenting these awful things in our social media posts. When we broke the wall, when we simply just spoke to them and we became humans interacting with other humans, things changed. I was in Texas this summer, I met a man who came up to me shook my hand and said, I went after you on Twitter a lot this year. I said some nasty things about you on the internet.
But the fact that you’re coming up here to this counter-protest really taught me something because I didn’t know that you kids were interested in approaching this like people. He introduced me to his wife and kids who are all out there protesting us as well, and they said they don’t know if they want to do this again because when we came up and connected with them it changed the way they look at it. That left knee floored. And that’s why it’s so important to look at people who disagree with you like other human beings.
When people disagree with you on political issues, you have to remember that approaching them like this is your enemy it’s not going to do anything for you. You have to approach everybody in bitterly social and political situations like they’re part of the same world that you are. Approach a bitterly partisan topic, but come from a place where you want to learn.
You learn the most from the people who disagree with you. I’m not speaking about any specific issues, but be ready to learn something. Assume that every single person you speak to knows something that you don’t because it’s true. Remember that the best thing you can do as a human being is lift another person up not knock them down.
I think you’re allowed to criticize my messaging without criticizing my character or who I am. These are emotional topics because they affect us. A lot of kids like me and like you believe what we believe because of our upbringing, that’s OK. That’s how we were raised. It’s part of our character.
I used to not understand how someone could disagree with me. But be ready to change people’s hearts. Be ready to change people’s minds. And be open to changing your mind.
Video 4: Cameron Kansky’s reflection on the March for our lives
Interactive feature not available in single page view (see it in standard view).
- a.What struck you most from listening to Cameron?
- b.Write down three key lessons Cameron learned?
- c.Are there any situations you can think of in your lives where you can apply his advice?
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Discussion
Cameron had lots of useful advice from his experience. Different things he said may have been meaningful to each of you depending on your own situation. Some examples are outlined in the top tips at the end of this section.
Cameron describes both his experience of being the target for hate speech and also some of the consequences of using negative, hateful or derogatory talk whether online or in person. As you heard in Cameron’s film, making other people feel bad is not just disrespectful. It can also be a barrier to solving problems, especially around contested issues where people strongly disagree. If instead you try to see and connect with others as human beings, are open to others’ points of views and to learning from others, you may be able to build create a space for people to talk and for real change to happen.
Cameron’s tips for talking to people you disagree with
- Social media exists to supplement but not replace human connection.
- Don’t become part of the problem. (Try instead to be part of the solution.)
- Break down the walls – it’s important to look at people we disagree with as other human beings. Approach everybody like they are part of the same world you are.
- Come from the place you want to learn.
- You learn the most from people who disagree with you.
- Aim to lift someone up, not knock them down. Disagree with the issue not the person.
- Be open to changing your mind.