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Bob Lakin's OpenLearn Profile

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Profile: Bob Lakin

Bob Lakin

Biography

Now 71 years old and trying to shake off personal shame at being so innumerate and backward in a world of data diktats, digital digits and of course, quantum quarks. Dragged up seven kids all of whom got mortar boards, six at uni, the other one on a building site. She is the brightest.

Got hooked on failure fame with 11 plus and couldn't kick the habit. Took any kind of job, mainly smelly, always poor. Pioneered pedal rickshaws in UK. Got class one HGV and PSV license. Went on to drive sewage trucks and, in search of an even deeper insight into the human condition, joined Metropolitan police. Served at Brixton. Became Interpol officer at Scotland Yard, specializing in art work. Got the greatest hits of culcha CD and learned to lip sync. Did the stand up poet. Went back to truck driving. Laboured on the railway tracks. Drove late night taxis. Drove school buses.(Cool job - always knew I'd break into academia). Became romantic novelist with pen name of Emma Calin with the "Passion Patrol" series. Became comedy/satire writer with pen name Oscar Sparrow - "My Life in Ladies Knickers" and "The Cover Up".

Obtained Institute of Linguists Certificate in French and qualified as Home Office Italian user. Hold CPC certificate for transport operation. Also hold in my stomach for photos.