4.4 Arousal and orgasms

The next activity develops knowledge about sexual pleasure by focusing on arousal and on the clitoris.

Watch the following film yourself first to make a decision about whether it is appropriate for you to use in your CSE classes. If you do decide to show it, perhaps to an older group, Activity 4.6 offers some suggestions on how to develop a discussion around it.

Activity 4.6 Lust and pleasure

Timing: Allow about 30 minutes to do this activity

Show the film Lust and pleasure:

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Transcript

Information from RFSU about lust and pleasure.

Everyone is unique and this is

why you have to find your own way to

enjoy your body.

Some people think the most pleasurable thing is to be stroked

all over, while others enjoy putting something in the vagina.

Your body has many pleasurable places to discover.

Trying out new places can feel exciting.

Many people discover what gives them

pleasure and they often do the same

things each time they have sex.

Even though people can find pleasure all over

the body, some parts are particularly

sensitive to touch. The clitoris is the

part that is the most sensitive to

sexual touch. Stroking the clitoris is

also the way most women have an orgasm.

Parts of the clitoris are outside the

body. The head and the foreskin. If you've

been circumcised the outer parts may

have been removed but most of the

clitoris is inside the body. When you

become aroused the vagina opens and

becomes deeper, your sexual organs swell

and become extra sensitive to touch. The

erectile tissue of the clitoris is

filled with blood and you have an

erection. The same thing happens to the

penis, it swells and also becomes extra

sensitive to touch. This is particularly

true for the head of the penis.

When you become aroused slippery

moisture is created by the walls of your

vagina. This moisture is called

lubrication. If you don't have

lubrication it can be unpleasant or even

painful to have sex. The same is true for

putting something in the vagina. If you

don't have a lot of lubrication you can

use a lubricant but a lubricant won't

make sex pleasurable if you aren't

aroused at the same time. If you use a

lubricant together with a condom, only

use water or silicone-based lubricants

because using oil can make the condom

break. The most important pleasure centre

in your body is your brain, what you

think about and feel before sex about

your body and about your partner all

these have an effect on your ability to

enjoy sex. You have to want to have sex

in order to enjoy it.

You can have sex with others or by

yourself. Having sex with yourself is

called masturbation and it's something

most people do no matter what their

gender. Many also masturbate even if

they have a partner, sometimes together,

sometimes alone. Different things can be

pleasurable at different times, that's

why it's important to be open and

curious about the other person's wishes

and boundaries. Finding a way to show and

tell your partner what you like often

makes sex better and more pleasurable.

End transcript
 
Interactive feature not available in single page view (see it in standard view).

Now ask participants:

Was there anything in the film that was new to you or surprised you?

In your discussion, you may wish to bring out some of the following points.

Note:

  • You could also show the class the diagrams below, which are also in the image bank [Tip: hold Ctrl and click a link to open it in a new tab. (Hide tip)] .

  • You can also order a model life-size clitoris from RFSU (the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education) or other internet resources.

An image of female genitals, with the hidden parts of the clitoris shown in red.
Figure 4.5 The clitoris is much bigger than the parts that can be seen
A diagram of the clitoris, including the parts which are hidden below the skin, with all the parts labelled with their anatomical terms.
Figure 4.6 Diagram of the clitoris, including the parts which are not visible

The clitoris

  1. The clitoris is much larger than people often assume and has internal and external parts.
  2. Stimulation of the clitoris is the most common way for women to have an orgasm.

Arousal

  1. The film focuses on arousal in the female body – people often focus more on arousal in the male body, but both are equally important to understand.
  2. You might want to include information about male arousal in the discussion, or at least be prepared for questions about it.

First-time sex

  1. There is a common myth that it will – or should – hurt for a woman or girl when she has vaginal intercourse for the first time.
  2. It’s connected to the myth about the hymen and that it is something that breaks the first time it’s penetrated, and that it can break from riding a horse or doing physical activities.
  3. It is also not true that all vaginal coronas tear and bleed the first time they are penetrated – in fact it is more common for them not to bleed.

Orgasm

  1. A simple way to explain an orgasm is to say that it is “the peak of sexual feeling”.
  2. An orgasm doesn’t feel the same every time; sometimes it is weaker, sometimes stronger.
  3. Very young children who have not reached puberty can also experience orgasms.

The ‘orgasm gap’

  1. Men have orgasms more often than women when they have sex with a partner.
  2. Women have more orgasms when they have sex with another woman, but significantly fewer when they have sex with a man.
  3. Men have the same number of orgasms whether their partner is a man or a woman.
  4. Here you could ask the group why they think men have more orgasms than women.

4.3 The sexual organs

4.5 Pleasurable feelings