2.3 The sexual pleasure time machine

We’re now going to jump backwards and then forwards in time to imagine what might happen to people if they don’t get an opportunity to talk about sexual pleasure as part of their sexuality education.

What can happen if we only learn about the biological aspects of sexuality and reproduction?

These three case studies help us think about what we leave out when we present sex only as something to avoid until we want to have babies. Without acknowledging that sex can and should be a pleasurable act, not just a pregnancy or STI risk, we ignore:

• our deeper understanding of communication and consent: knowing what we do and don’t like and feeling empowered enough to communicate this.

• those who may be in same-sex relationships who often feel excluded from sexuality education, which prioritises sex as a means for having babies.
• conversations about gender and power and links to coercive relationships. If someone doesn’t know what a positive, pleasurable sexual relationship looks like, it might be difficult for them to recognise abusive behaviour.
• linking pleasure to condoms and contraception: understanding that there are ways to share pleasure that have lower risk than vaginal or anal intercourse and that condom use can be sexy! Feeling protected during sex may improve people’s enjoyment and ability to relax.
• real-world messages that young people get about sex which may contradict what they are being told by parents or in school.