3.3 Our own experiences
Another factor that influences the way that we as facilitators integrate sexual pleasure into our CSE practice is our own experiences and values – the things that make us who we are. As facilitators we can find it difficult not to reproduce what we have learnt growing up – often unconsciously. Have you ever considered where your own opinions come from? Consider your own life – who stands out as someone you have listened to and learnt from?
Activity 3.3: Your own experiences and values
Part 1
Table 3.1 below includes people or things that generally have a large influence on our values, especially when it comes to sex and pleasure. We have not included everything, and there may be other people or things that have shaped your views on sex and pleasure. Write these other things in the spaces provided at the bottom.
Then use drag and drop to reorder the list in the order so that the people or things that have had the most influence on your views about sex and pleasure are at the top, and those that have had the least influence on you are at the bottom of the list.
Then, in the box on the right, add a sentence or two about why each person or group has influenced your views about sex and pleasure and how you think this might affect the way you communicate with young people in CSE.
Discussion
Lisbet, aged 39 and from Denmark, did this activity and here are her reflections:
I’m surprised at how much my parents have actually influenced my views on sexual pleasure despite the fact that they never spoke directly about pleasure. I have been shaped in my teen years by youth magazines, which still influenced my thinking about the role of men and women until my late twenties.
At this point in my life, I am much more influenced by the Gender Studies I did at university and in particular about the dynamic role of gender and how men’s power and privilege is intrinsic to the way many societies are structured.
3.2 Who’s talking?