2.1 Sexual infidelity
One of the most obvious ways to define infidelity is in terms of sexual behaviour with a person other than that the committed partner. This might seem like quite a simple definition but as you will see it is potentially not so easy.
Defining infidelity in terms of sexual intercourse
One option is to define infidelity in terms of sexual intercourse. Yet, a closer look at the ways infidelity research operationalises sexual intercourse begs interesting questions. For example, in some of the biggest, random sample studies, infidelity prevalence is estimated by asking participants who are in a relationship how many people they had sexual intercourse with and coding sexual infidelity for any answer over one (e.g. Whisman and Synder, 2007; Leigh et al., 1993). The potential difficulties with this definition are myriad; it may lead to under-reporting if relationship partners are not having sexual intercourse with each other (but are with other people); in addition, the operationalisation clearly privileges a researcher-definition of infidelity over any definition that a couple themselves might have since this definition codes consensual non-monogamy (think ‘swingers’) as infidelity.
A more direct assessment of sexual infidelity involves asking respondents directly about experience of having sex with someone other than their primary partner (e.g. Træen et al., 2007). Doing this assumes that sexual terms such as ‘sex’ or ‘sexual intercourse’ are understood in the same way by all – however, research suggests this is a false assumption (e.g. Randall and Byers, 2003; Carpenter, 2001).
Activity 2.2 How do you define sexual intercourse?
Click on your preferred definition from the list below; once you have you will be able to see how your response compares with that of other people who have taken this course. (No one but you will know how you vote.)
Discussion
What specific behaviours ‘count’ as sexual intercourse is not – on reflection – straightforward. Some definitions exclude some types of couples (e.g. the first definition assumes a man and a woman while the second assumes that at least one of the people in bed has a penis).
There is also an issue of how narrow or broad the definition is with some people restricting sexual intercourse definitions to behaviours that involve ‘penetration’ of some sort. Solo sexual activities may not usually be seen as infidelity, but this too can depend on the context (e.g. if someone is masturbating while talking online to someone other than the partner).
Unsurprisingly infidelity research varies in how it defines the term ‘sexual intercourse’, with some random sample studies prioritising a ‘penetration’ definition and specifying anal and vaginal intercourse (Choi et al., 1994; Billy et al., 1993) and others just using the phrase ‘sexual intercourse,’ leaving respondents to decide what the term means to them (Whisman et al., 2007). In sum, although defining infidelity in terms of sexual intercourse may appear to be simple, on closer examination it is not.
2. Defining infidelity