3.4 Implicit theories of infidelity in counselling practice
Up to this point you have been considering theories of infidelity and monogamy that have been developed in academic areas outside of counselling and psychotherapy practice. In the next sections you will consider research on implicit theories on infidelity developed from within counselling and psychotherapy.
Implicit theories are private ‘mindsets’ or beliefs that have been studied primarily in social-psychological and educational contexts (Schroeder et al., 2015), but also in the way therapists’ implicit beliefs (alongside their explicit theoretical orientation) impact on therapy process and outcome (Najavits, 1997). In our own research in this area (Vossler and Moller, 2014), we were interested in couple counsellors’ own implicit theories on infidelity. Consider these aspects by engaging in Activity 3.4.
Activity 3.4 Therapists’ implicit theories on affairs
1. Consider the following statements about the reasons for infidelity and pair them with the correct type of implicit theory.
Using the following two lists, match each numbered item with the correct letter.
Deficit model – Affair is a symptom not the primary cause of marital distress/deficits.
Contextual factors – Affair is related to contextual factors ‘outside’ the primary relationship.
Systemic model – Affair is linked to the relationship interaction and dynamics between partners.
a.Counsellors explain infidelity not so much as a product of individual motivations/decisions but as resulting from the interplay of individual factors and relationship processes in which both partners are involved.
b.Counsellors identify various issues in the environment of the relationship that may have contributed to the affair, including e.g. stress at the workplace, difficult experiences in the families of origin.
c.Counsellors see infidelity as a response to unmet needs in the relationship. The unmet needs can be emotional needs (e.g. lack of attention or affection) or of sexual nature (e.g. couple no longer have sex anymore with each other).
- 1 = c
- 2 = b
- 3 = a
Discussion
These different implicit theories are not mutually exclusive. For example, relationship conflicts and communication problems can be explanatory factors in both a deficit and systemic model. However, what many counsellors seem to assume is that the underlying psychological motives for infidelity are often linked to perceived problems or deficits at the individual and relationship level.
Pause for reflection
Which implicit theory or model do you tend to hold? In which ways do you think these different implicit theories influence the way counsellors work with infidelity?
3.3 Applying understandings of monogamy and infidelity