2.3 Spotting strengths in those around you
A lovely activity is the one Michelle mentioned in her video in section 1.1.
Try to identify the character strengths of people you care about and then let them know what these are. It can be an extremely rewarding experience to hear loved ones talk about your strengths and qualities, and they sometimes may pick up on strengths that you have not been able to recognise in yourself.
- What strengths do you notice in your family members?
- Can you think of any ways that you can let one of your family members know that you see and appreciate their strengths?
How do you think this will make you both feel?
Identifying character strengths in others
Have a look at the following table. It is an adaptation of the previous list of character strengths that you can use to help you to identify the character strengths of the important people in your life.
Write in a person's name against each of the character strengths listed.
| Description | Write in a person's name | Character strength identified |
| Is good at thinking of new and better ways of doing things. | Creativity | |
| Loves to explore things, ask questions, and is open to different experiences and activities. | Curiosity | |
| Is flexible and open-minded – thinks through and examines all sides before deciding. | Judgement (open-mindedness) | |
| Loves to learn new ideas, concepts, and facts when working, studying or on own. | Love of learning | |
| Friends consult them on important matters, they are considered to be wise beyond age. | Perspective | |
| They don’t give up in the face of hardship or challenge, even when afraid. | Bravery | |
| They finish most things – and are able to refocus when distracted and finish the task. | Persistence | |
| They are a genuine and honest person, known to be trustworthy. Acts consistently with their values. | Honesty (integrity) | |
| They are energetic, cheerful, and full of life. | Zest (vitality) | |
| Loving and being loved comes naturally to them – they value close relationships with others. | Love | |
| They love to do kind acts for others, often without being asked. | Kindness | |
| They manage themselves well in social situations and are known to have good people skills. | Social intelligence | |
| They are an active community or team member, and they contribute to the success of their groups. | Teamwork | |
| They stand up for others when they are treated unfairly, bullied, or ridiculed. | Fairness | |
| Others often choose them as a leader as they are known to lead well. | Leadership | |
| They do not hold grudges and forgive those who offend them. | Forgiveness | |
| They don’t like to be the centre of attention and prefer others to shine. | Humility | |
| They are careful and cautious. They can anticipate any risks and problems of their actions and respond accordingly. | Prudence | |
| They manage their feelings and behaviours even in challenging situations. They generally follow rules and routines. | Self-regulation | |
| They are moved deeply by beauty in nature, in art (e.g., painting, music, theatre) and/or excellence in many fields of life. | Appreciation of beauty and excellence | |
| They express thankfulness for good things through words and actions. | Gratitude | |
| 22. They hope and believe that more good things will happen than bad ones. | Hope | |
| They are playful, funny, and use humour to connect with others. | Humour | |
| They believe in a higher power and participate in religious or spiritual practices (e.g., prayer, mediation) willingly. | Spirituality |
You can continue to build on this activity to help create more positive relationships within your home. When dealing with conflict between family members, it can be more useful to try to focus on appealing to their strengths to resolve tensions.
For example, you might not like what is being said, but the way it is said might show honesty or fairness. This can offer a ‘pause’ during conflict which can help individuals to feel calmer. Feeling appreciated and noticed can go a long way to helping to build more positive relationships.
- Try to notice the next time that one of your family members shows a particular character strength, such as humour, kindness, gratitude, honesty, bravery.
- Let them know that you noticed this and where you saw them using this strength.
- Reflect on what effect this process had on your feelings of connection towards your family member.
2.2 How to use character strengths with your family to enhance wellbeing