2.4 Be realistic

If you are in the middle of a difficult and stressful time as you’re undertaking this course, you might not feel able to tackle all the goals you’ve identified at this point. There are times when just maintaining the status quo is all that is possible.

In this situation, a positive step forward is to choose one goal to focus on at this stage and then actively note the things you want to work on next, deciding to look at them again in two to six months’ time. In fact, that could become one of your goals – to revisit your plans for developing career resilience in six months, when things feel less overwhelming.

This type of positive thinking does not mean ignoring difficulties or the negative aspects of a situation, rather reviewing them objectively and using your problem-solving skills and strengths to generate solutions when you have time to apply them.

Another tactic is to take courage and ask for objective feedback from others. For example, after an unsuccessful job interview it can be easy to persuade yourself it was all a disaster. Having the courage to ask for feedback can help you obtain specific comments from an objective observer, even on weaker areas: ‘X and Y were great, but you gave weaker examples for Z’, or, ‘You did well but it was a very competitive field, and other candidates had several years more experience than you.’ Feedback is almost never as dire as our darkest imaginings, and fuels positive action.

Figure 3 See the glass half-full

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This figure has two columns. The left column shows a man holding a glass half full of water and the heading reads ‘See the glass half full.’. Underneath the heading is a letter:

‘Dear Optimist, Pessimist and Realist, While you were debating whether the glass was half empty or half full, I just wanted to let you know, I drank it! Kind regards, The Opportunist.’

The right-hand column has the heading ‘How to be positive’ and lists the following points:

• Make a conscious decision to be an optimist
• Take personal responsibility for everything you do
• Listen to and examine your internal vocabulary
• Challenge every excuse you make to yourself
• Embrace mistakes and see them as learning opportunities

Figure 3 See the glass half-full