2 Talking and listening

If you are worried out your child or a child you work with, it is important that you set aside some time where you can check in with them and get a sense of how they feel and perhaps how they are managing their lives at that time.

Activity 2: Checking in

Timing: Allow about 10 minutes

Watch Video 2 in which counsellor John Goss discusses how you can check in with your child or a child you are working with or know well.

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Transcript: Video 2: John Goss: Checking in

JOHN GOSS

If you feel that something’s not quite right with your child, I think it’s really important to try and check in with them. Perhaps just take an interest in how their day is, how their school or college is going, just take an interest in something they’re doing. If that’s a sport or a hobby that they’re doing, then maybe that’s a really good starting point.

I think it’s also really important to be open with them. So if there’s something that you feel may have changed or be a bit different, feel free to perhaps gently bring that into conversation and try and open that up with them. And certainly allow them to feel that they can open up to you, and start to discuss what might be going on for them.

End transcript: Video 2: John Goss: Checking in

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Video 2: John Goss: Checking in

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Discussion

John suggests that it can be helpful for you to show an interest in some of the things that your child is involved in as a way of establishing a common ground for further conversations and perhaps conversations which are difficult. He also thinks it is important to be open with them in telling them that you have noticed something has changed in how they are behaving.

An important first step in understanding how your child or a young person you are working with is feeling is to stop and listen to them. This might sound fairly obvious as we all talk and listen throughout our day and yet listening is quite a complex skill. How can you become a better listener? Perhaps you already think you are really good at listening but need to extend your skills to help a young person who is struggling.