2 Approaches to conflict
Developing ‘peace between us’ means developing children and young people’s capacity to manage conflict situations, ‘…thus developing their emotional self-awareness and regulation, social skills, and accountability before others’ (Peace at the Heart, 2022, p. 4).
Managing conflict when it arises might be seen as peace making rather than peace building, which you focused on in Session 2. Whereas peace building is long term and preventative, peace making is reactive and involves developing skills in managing conflict non-violently and constructively when it inevitably arises (Cremin and Bevington, 2017). Thus the successful development of competencies in managing conflict can depend on the capacity to regulate emotions and recognise strong feelings and deeply felt needs in oneself and others, which were topics you read about in Session 2.
The Save the Children resource Conflict Management and Peace Building in Everyday Life (Giertsen and O’Kane, 2015) offers sessions for understanding and managing conflict. This involves becoming aware of one’s preferred approach to conflict, as well as different approaches that might be adopted.
The following activities are adapted from the session Conflict Styles from Conflict Management and Peace Building in Everyday Life.
CPD sessions
This makes a good main activity for a circle session. Prepare cards with animal pictures, behaviours, and conflict styles (see below). You might also use soft toys. Participants begin by working to match the cards to create the definition of the conflict style. They can then discuss the benefits and limitations of each conflict style in pairs, before feeding back to the group as the facilitator notes their ideas on further pieces of card.
The outcome of the session would be a large table of the conflict styles in the centre of the circle which can be photographed and used as a resource for developing the discussion further.
Activity 3 Matching conflict styles
This activity, and variations of it, can help children and young people (and adults) think about different ways of managing a conflict. Using animals to represent conflict styles can help people remember what each involves. You may find other ways of representing the styles more useful in your context. The focus should be on deepening participants’ understanding of the ways in which conflict might be managed non-violently.
Part 1 Recognising different conflict styles
Begin by selecting the conflict style and behaviour of each of the animals below (make sure you click on ‘check’ before moving onto the next screen). Some screens have more than one correct answer.
Comment
Remember that being able to identify one’s own preferred style should be the first step to exploring a range of potentially helpful approaches to conflict. It’s important to avoid imposing values on the styles. Instead, try and think of them as approaches that might be used depending on the situation. For example, many people are brought up to believe that confrontation is aggressive, however if managed with careful attention to one’s own and others’ responses and rights, it can bring about a swift solution to a conflict.
Part 2 Your preferred conflict style
Now read through the definitions of each conflict style and behaviour. Which is your preferred conflict style? Type your thoughts into the box below.
Discussion
With an activity like this you might explore different approaches, perhaps role-playing different conflict styles to experiment with ways of managing the conflict.
Part 3 Benefits and limitations
Now you have read through the definitions of each learning style, and the behaviours associated with them, what might the benefits and limitations be to each style? Would you use the same style in every conflict situation?
Animal | Conflict style | Benefits | Limitations |
---|---|---|---|
Turtle |
Avoiding |
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Shark |
Confronting |
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Camelion |
Accommodating |
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Zebra |
Compromising |
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Owl |
Problem Solving |
Comment
Here are some suggested benefits and limitations to the five conflict styles: turtle, shark, chameleon, zebra, and owl. You may have thought of others.
Animal | Benefits | Limitations |
---|---|---|
Turtle |
*When confronting seems dangerous *When you need more time to prepare |
*The problem may never be resolved *Emotions may explode later |
Shark |
*When immediate action is needed *When you believe in the absolute rightness of your actions and don’t see any other choice |
*This style can make people defensive and can make a conflict worse *This style can make it hard for others to express how they feel |
Camelion |
*When you think you've made a mistake or that you don't really understand the situation *When smoothing over is important for keeping a relationship |
*You may work hard to please others but never be happy yourself *Being nice doesn't always solve the problem |
Zebra |
*When you need a fast decision on small issue *When nothing else works |
*You may fix the immediate conflict but not the bigger problem *Each person may not end up happy |
Owl |
*Can make someone who is stubborn move towards resolving a problem |
*This requires time and good communication skills |
Part 4
Now consider the following scenario. Which conflict style would help you reach a peaceful solution?
Scenario
When it is time to clear up after an activity, some people work hard to help whilst others take the time to talk with friends and enjoy some ‘free time’. This is causing resentment amongst the helpers.
Discussion
You might want to repeat this activity, choosing another conflict style and thinking about how that might work in the situation. If doing the activity with a group you might explore different approaches, perhaps role-playing different conflict styles to experiment with ways of managing the conflict.
This activity is based on a Save the Children resource [Tip: hold Ctrl and click a link to open it in a new tab. (Hide tip)] . Different organisations teach conflict styles using different animals, so you might see other versions elsewhere, or you may want to devise something that would work well in your context. The main thing is to think about the variety of ways in which people might respond to a conflict, and to consider how different approaches might work in different contexts.
CPD sessions
If carrying out this activity with a group, you could prepare a range of scenarios for them to discuss, either in pairs or smaller groups, before coming back into the circle to discuss their thoughts.