3 Families and friends
What do you think of when you hear the word ‘family’?
For many years the idea of family was the ‘traditional’ married mother and father and their children, but that image no longer fits. Statistics show that families are increasingly made up of co-habiting couples, lone parents, same-sex partners, blends of previous family structures, foster carers and lots of other make-ups (Office for National Statistics, 2024).
When we think about the relationships in the lives of babies and very young children, there can still be a tendency to focus on the relationship between the child and one or both of their parents. However, most young children quickly start to develop networks of relations with their siblings, grandparents, other family members, carers, peers, and so on.
The role of dads in caring for babies has been overlooked for a long time, with mothers often seen as being primarily responsible for childcare. Dads can face particular challenges with regard to caring for babies. For example, childcare settings and groups are almost entirely staffed by women and this can be isolating for dads. In recent years more work is being done to support dads’ involvement. Examples of this include projects like Dad Matters Cymru which provide support to help dads have positive parent experiences during pregnancy and early years, and encourage participation in services that have traditionally been targeted for mums.
A child’s developing sense of who they are and their place in the world is a process that begins within the family. It is connected to the relationships they experience at home and the way that the family goes about things. The importance of building effective relationships between the home and the setting is highlighted in A Curriculum for Funded Non-maintained Nursery Settings (Welsh Government, 2022), but there can be all sorts of barriers that make it difficult to make these connections. These barriers can be organised into four categories (Hornby and Blackwell, 2018).
| Type of Issue | Examples |
|---|---|
| Parent/family factors | Parents’ own experiences of school having a negative impact. Complex family situations making it more difficult for information to get to the right person. Parents’ low levels of confidence in their skills, such as literacy. |
| Parent/practitioner factors | Practitioners assuming parents are ‘fussy’ or ‘over-anxious’ and dismissing their concerns. Parents worrying that they will be told they are doing something ‘wrong’. Parents not wanting to ‘bother’ practitioners or ‘waste their time’. Practitioners not understanding the family’s circumstances. |
| Societal factors | Parents dealing with mental health issues, disabilities, mobility problems, isolation, agoraphobia, financial problems, etc. Conflicts between parents in the local community. Different cultural expectations around childcare. Language barriers. |
| Practical barriers | Clashes between working hours and opening hours. Lack of transport to get to a setting outside ‘normal’ hours. Lack of technology and associated skills to access information. |
The range of examples shown above make it clear that there is no ‘one size fits all’ answer to this issue. Every setting will have its own unique set of circumstances that could be impacting on the relationship they have with the families they work with. But there are some key points to bear in mind:
- The first contact you have with parents is key. You need to demonstrate genuine engagement, interest and positive intent.
- Try to find out from parents what is needed and what is possible, rather than making assumptions and expecting them to fit into the settings’ plans.
- Recognise parents’ anxieties and work to build their confidence. Think back to the comments from the parents in the video earlier this week about the importance of feeling listened to.
Activity 32.1 Activity 3 First contact with childcare provider
Take a moment to think about the first contact a parent or carer has with a childcare provider. What would make it a positive experience? How could they make the adults and the child feel welcomed and relaxed?
If you work with babies or young children, think about the first experience you had as a practitioner meeting parents – was it positive? How did you make the child and parent feel relaxed? What did you do? Did you reflect on it afterwards?
Discussion
Reflecting on your own experiences can be a useful starting point to help you think about how you would welcome new children and parents into your setting. Seemingly small things, like smiling and making sure to speak to the adult and child, make a big difference.
Listening carefully and making it clear that any questions are welcome is a good starting point to develop a positive relationship. Having plenty of time for parents and children to explore and chat can be challenging in a busy setting, but if you can do this then it is definitely worthwhile.