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English: skills for learning
English: skills for learning

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1.3 Linking the main body paragraphs to the introduction

Having stated a claim and outlined the essay, it is important to show readers that the paragraphs follow the outline provided by the introduction and deal with the key ideas mentioned in the question. This is done by ensuring that each topic sentence links back to both the outline and the claim, as well as to the key ideas mentioned in the introduction.

Activity 3

Timing: Allow approximately 10 minutes

Reread the last two sentences of Fred’s introduction, the topic sentences of each paragraph and the conclusion (all reproduced below). As you did in Activity 2, identify all the words that relate to the same specific topic. Some of these words are already highlighted, using the same system that was used in Activity 2 (bold italic and a topic number). If you prefer, you can highlight or underline words related to each topic using a different colour.

The ability to determine the differences [2] between public [3] and private [4] spaces is therefore essential for those who wish to be skilled and effective carers as it affects the quality of their work [1] in all care contexts. This essay will consider the differences between public and private spaces and how these can affect the behaviour of both carers and those receiving care in hospital [5], residential [6] and private homes [7].

Private and public spaces differ [2] greatly.

To provide good care in a mostly public space, such as the hospital environment, factors such as safety and the efficiency of the ward should be seen as paramount; however, it is also important to safeguard patients’ needs.

In the residential care setting too, it is important that staff recognise the differences [2] between public [3] and private [4] spaces.

In a good residential home, the staff will acknowledge the residents’ wishes to control their private space.

The story is very different in poorly run residential homes.

It would seem that those who receive care at home should be in a stronger position to maintain their autonomy, but even here carers must be aware that their behaviour can change this situation considerably.

A good home carer will always respect the wishes of the client and show them that their right to privacy is valued.

To conclude, whether they work in hospitals, residential homes or patients’ homes, carers must be sensitive to the different characteristics of private and public spaces. This sensitivity helps to carefully balance, on the one hand, patients’ need to privacy, dignity and control over their lives and, on the other, the carers’ need to guarantee safety and effective care. Evidence shows that this approach ultimately affects quality of care as patients will appreciate the security provided by the care context but at the same time benefit from having at least some autonomy and some control over their private spaces. This is likely to increase patients’ well-being and favour the recovery process.

Once again you can do this activity in any way you wish: by highlighting, underlining or otherwise annotating a paper copy of the essay or by making notes in the box provided below. When you have finished compare your answer with mine.

Answer

The words in bold italic are the key words that link to each topic. The numbers indicate which topic the highlighted words relate to.

The ability to determine the differences [2] between public [3] and private [4] spaces is therefore essential for those who wish to be skilled and effective carers [1] as it affects the quality of their work in all care [1] contexts. This essay will consider the differences [2] between public [3] and private [4] spaces and how these can affect the behaviour of both carers [1] and those receiving care in hospital [5], residential [6] and private homes [7].

Private [4]and public [3] spaces differ [2] greatly.

To provide good care [1] in a mostly public [3] space, such as the hospital environment [5], factors such as safety and the efficiency of the ward should be seen as paramount; however, it is also important that carers [1] safeguard patients’ needs.

In the residential care setting [6] too, it is important that staff [1] recognise the differences [2] between public [3] and private [4] spaces.

In a good [1] residential home [6], the staff [1] will acknowledge the residents’ wishes to control their private [4] space.

The story is very different in poorly run [1] residential homes [6].

It would seem that those who receive care [1] at home [7] should be in a stronger position to maintain their autonomy, but even here carers [1] must be aware that their behaviour [1] can change this situation considerably.

A good [1] home [7] carer [1] will always respect the wishes of the client and show them that their right to privacy [4] is valued.

To conclude, whether they work in hospitals [5], residential homes [6] or patients’ homes [7], carers must be sensitive to the different [2] characteristics of private [4] and public [3] spaces. This sensitivity helps to carefully balance, on the one hand, patients’ need to privacy [4], dignity and control over their lives and, on the other, the carers’ [1] need to guarantee safety and effective care. Evidence shows that this approach ultimately affects quality of care [1] as patients will appreciate the security provided by the care [1] context but at the same time benefit from having at least some autonomy and some control over their private [4] spaces. This is likely to increase patients’ well-being and favour the recovery process.

If you chose to use colour to visualise this activity you can see the same information in this PDF: Week 5 Activity 3 answer [Tip: hold Ctrl and click a link to open it in a new tab. (Hide tip)] .

Comment

This activity has shown that Fred’s essay is indeed cohesive. This is because the key topics introduced in the introduction are discussed in the paragraphs. In particular, the differences between private and public spaces and the three care settings mentioned in the introduction are dealt with across all paragraphs in the essay.

All the topic sentences and the conclusion mention quality of care, which is the reason why, according to Fred, private and public spaces should be distinguished. If you read Fred’s essay, you will notice that the content of paragraphs 3–8 also support his claim. Therefore all the paragraphs work together to explain and support Fred’s claim.

Fred’s essay is easy to follow because both the introduction and the paragraphs are connected to the introduction, the conclusion and the assignment question. However, it is also important to ensure that paragraphs are linked to each other and that within them, sentences are also clearly connected. You will learn how to do this in the following sections.