4.6 Encouraging others
You may be in a discussion where one person sits quietly, saying nothing. You may know the person and know that they have some views on the subject or some experience to share. Or you may not know what they have to contribute, but you’re aware that they’ve not spoken.
The short video below shows different ways that you can encourage someone to speak in a discussion.
Download this video clip.Video player: fse_1_vid13_encouraging_others_new.mp4
Transcript
PRESENTER
You may be in a discussion where one person sits quietly, saying nothing. You may know the person and know they have some views on the subject or some experience to share. If you have an idea of what they have to say, you can encourage them to talk by addressing them directly and inviting them to share. For example--
SAS
So Steve, have you watched any interesting films lately?
STEPHEN
Yeah, I watched The Banshees of Inisherin. It was a really funny Irish made movie. It’s been nominated for a load of awards and a load of Oscars. Yeah, it was a really fun film.
SAS
And did you watch that film at home or at the cinema?
STEPHEN
I watched it at home on a streaming service.
PRESENTER
You may not know what exactly they have to contribute, but be aware that they haven’t already spoken. Again, you can address them directly. Here’s an example.
SAS
And so Steve, do you think their subscription model undermines the cinema?
STEPHEN
I think it definitely can do because there’s been quite a few instances recently where I’ve chosen to stay at home and watch a movie instead of going to the cinema where in previous years I may have gone to the cinema to watch it.
PRESENTER
You may not want to be so direct about it, in which case there are more subtle ways of encouraging people to speak. For example, you might catch their eye just as you finish what you’re saying.
SOFIA
I actually really like watching films at home now. You have the comfort of your own home. You don’t need to worry about people around you being noisy. You have snacks on tap. I just think it’s really great.
STEPHEN
Yeah, no, I agree as well because I think a lot of people can actually find the cinema quite anxiety inducing these days as well.
PRESENTER
Or perhaps you could give a little nod in their direction.
SAS
But you just can’t beat cinema food, can you? It’s amazing, whether it’s the slushies there with the ice and the sugar and the colours and popcorn. Popcorn is an absolute classic, isn’t it?
STEPHEN
Oh my god, yeah, I absolutely love a slushie with some popcorn. I could-- I sort of get through it too quickly, but I love it.
PRESENTER
Or perhaps open your hands towards them.
NURIN
But do you ever sneak in any snacks secretly?
STEPHEN
I have been known to sneak some snacks in from time to time, yes. [LAUGHS]
PRESENTER
Or maybe you’ll just give them a smile.
SOFIA
You can’t sneak a slushie in, though.
STEPHEN
That’s true. You can’t sneak a slushie in. [LAUGHS]
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The points made in the video are summarised in the box below.
Ways of encouraging others to speak during a discussion
- Address them directly and invite them to share their experience. ‘Martha, tell us about your experience with …’.
- Address them directly and ask what they think. ‘Gary, what do you think about …?’
- Use less direct, more subtle way of giving them a chance to speak:
- catch their eye just as you finish what you’re saying
- give a little nod in their direction
- open your hand towards them
- smile towards them.