3 Enhancing my external self-awareness
External self-awareness is all about gathering insights from the world around you and attempting to understand how others see you. In the workplace, this can help you become more empathetic and to build stronger relationships with colleagues. It will also enable you to identify areas for personal development.
An obvious way to do this is to ask people directly, but when collecting feedback from the people around you, don’t ask everyone you know or work with all at once, as that amount of feedback could easily overwhelm you. For example, start by choosing one or two trusted colleagues and ask them for some constructive feedback on a particular aspect of your approach. This might feel daunting, but people are often flattered to be asked as it shows that you value their opinion. Think about how you would feel if someone asked you for feedback, and how you might prefer to be approached.
Watch this short video to hear how business speaker and trainer Michael Kerr explains the power of asking for feedback in the workplace.
Transcript
Activity 5 How do others see me?
a) Choose a trusted colleague or a friend and ask them for some feedback.
Think carefully about what you want feedback on – is it something specific, such as how you interact with people in a certain situation, or do you want their perspective on your strengths and weaknesses?
Note what they say in the box below.
b) Now think about how you feel about that feedback. Did it surprise you? Did it make you feel defensive? What have you learned about yourself?
Note your responses in the box below.
c) Finally, try to turn your learning into a positive action for change. For example, if they pointed out that you can be overly dominant in team meetings, not letting anyone else speak – perhaps, for the next meeting, you could resolve to really listen to what everyone says and invite others to contribute.
List your proposed actions in the box below.
Comment
This activity will probably highlight positives as well as negatives. Embrace and celebrate the positive feedback you receive and refer to it when you are feeling uncertain. Everyone has things that they do well and things they need to work on. Becoming more self-aware allows you to identify what those things are and to celebrate the positives while doing something about the negatives.
Gathering insights doesn’t have to involve asking for direct feedback (Marlow Group, 2023). Here are some other suggestions:
Indirect feedback: Rather than asking for feedback, think through comments others have made. Have people offered advice without you asking? Do they respond positively or negatively to your contributions, or do they seem to be indifferent?
Body language: Observe the body language of those around you – when you take action or make a suggestion, do they behave in the way you would want or expect?
Outcomes: Are you achieving your desired results overall? If, for example, your ideas are never adopted by coworkers, this is likely a good place to start. Ask yourself ‘What steps can I take to change this outcome?’
Although the benefits of becoming more self-aware might seem logical, our brains can sometimes put obstacles in our way. In the next section, you’ll explore what those obstacles to self-awareness might be.