6 Mentoring misconceptions
Understanding what mentoring can’t do is an important part of your learning, whether you are a potential mentor or mentee. It highlights the need to set and agree clear expectations right from the beginning of the relationship.
Looking at the mentoring process in general, the Mentorloop team (2017) make the important point that ‘mentoring is not a passive endeavour – it isn’t just a conversation that happens occasionally, it should involve frequent, goal-orientated communication.’ They also explain that ‘mentoring is not a cure all – progress can’t be made unless the individual has a desire to change and move forward, listening to advice and taking action.’
Ryan (2023) expands on the mentor’s role in her blog post, ‘What’s the definition of a mentor… and what isn’t?’:
- A mentor isn’t: a task-manager – a mentee should be able to manage their own time and daily tasks, or look for support from a boss or colleague
- A mentor isn’t: a problem-solver – a mentee should consider their own solutions and bring them to the discussion
- A mentor isn’t: a gossip – a mentee must focus on the facts rather than unproductive communication
- A mentor isn’t: a networking tool – unless it seems appropriate, a mentee should avoid simply asking for introductions.
Looking from the perspective of an academic employer, the University of Edinburgh (Hutchinson, 2022) suggests that mentoring is not:
- the same as supervision or line management, and both mentor and mentee should be clear about the boundaries in the relationship
- an individual surrogate for poor / absent supervision or line management
- an institutional excuse for not dealing with a poor line manager.
In the following activity, you’ll be asked to spot some common myths about mentoring.
Activity 5 Demystifying mentoring
In her blog post, Cantalupo (2023) explains five myths about mentoring.
See if you can identify which five of the following are her myths:
- Being a mentor takes too much time
- A mentor must be a good listener
- Mentoring is a one-to-one relationship
- Mentoring can be just as effective virtually as it is face-to-face
- The mentoring relationship must be open and honest
- Mentors have to be older and/or more experienced than their mentees
- Only mentees benefit from mentoring relationships
- Mentoring is a feel-good thing, but it’s not measurable
- Mentoring can be formal or informal
- Mentorship and sponsorship are two different things.
Comment
Cantalupo’s five myths are:
1) Being a mentor takes too much time – it’s actually not as demanding as many people think. Even an hour a month can make a significant impact on a mentee’s career and personal growth.
3) Mentoring is a one-to-one relationship – as you’ve already read, there are different kinds of mentoring, including one-to-many or group mentoring and mentoring circles.
6) Mentors have to be older and/or more experienced than their mentees – age and experience don’t necessarily equate with effective mentorship. In fact, younger leaders may provide new and innovative solutions that older ones may not consider.
7) Only mentees benefit from mentoring relationships – the opposite is true. As you saw from the work of McKimm, Jollie and Hatter (Table 1), the benefits for both mentors and mentees, as well as the organisation itself, are numerous.
8) Mentoring is a feel-good thing, but it’s not measurable – with mentoring technology, both the qualitative and quantitative benefits of mentoring can be measured.
2), 4), 5), 9) and 10) are all true.
You’ve already seen that listening is one of the most important skills for both mentors and coaches.
Virtual mentoring doesn’t suit everyone, but it certainly has the potential to be just as effective as an ‘in person’ interaction.
It is vital for a mentoring relationship to be honest and trusting, and a good relationship will be beneficial to both parties.
As long as the level of formality is agreed between both parties, a mentoring relationship can be formal or informal.
While a mentor shares their knowledge and expertise with their mentee, a sponsor proactively advocates for them across their own professional network. A mentor will often grow into a sponsor as they become more invested in supporting their mentee’s career development, perhaps putting their name forward for a promotion or inviting them to meet key people.
Now that you’ve busted some myths about mentoring, after completing the Week 4 quiz you can go on to Week 5 and learn more about what mentoring could do for you.