3.1 Self regulating

Being able to recognise one’s feelings is an important step towards regulating emotions. In situations of conflict, powerful emotions act on both the physical and mental state. Recognising what is happening gives people a space to act and think differently.

In this next activity you will start to think about the kinds of emotions that arise in situations of conflict, and consider ways of recognising and managing them.

Activity 5 How does conflict affect my mind and body?

Timing: Allow approximately 20 minutes for this activity

Part 1

Watch this short video where Ellis outlines some of the ways in which children and young people describe their experiences of conflict situations.

Download this video clip.Video player: Video 3

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Transcript: Video 3

ELLIS

You can think of conflict in terms of neuroscience and parts of the brain.

You can also talk about conflict in terms of the ideas and agendas at stake.

But perhaps a useful starting point is how it feels – in your body – because those sensations are very immediate and powerful. Humans may be a smart animal, but we are still an animal, and some of our responses aren’t really a choice.

When you ask children and young people what happens in your body when you get angry or fall out with a friend, they can explain in terms of the physical effects of those feelings.

So, when you get angry you might clench your fists. You might frown and clench your jaw. Your whole body may be stiff. Children and young people talk about feeling hot, feeling sick, sometimes. They describe being hyper alert about their surroundings. They might notice their heart is beating fast, or that they are holding their breath.

Children and young people, and everybody, can reflect on times when we might have had those feelings. How often does it happen? What was happening at the time? Or just before it started? How long did it last?

This can help gain consciousness about how you feel in conflict situations so you can notice when it’s happening.

From that self-awareness, people can start to think about the strategies for regulating themselves when they feel this way.

End transcript: Video 3

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Part 2

Now write in the boxes below the different ways in which responses to conflict can affect your body and mind. As well as considering the ideas from the video, you might also think back to a situation where you experienced anger or another strong emotion as a result of a conflict.

Responses to conflict

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Comment

Building up a picture of how strong emotions can affect different parts of your mind and body can help to recognise these emotions and find ways of managing them. However, all of this takes practice and, if you try any of these activities with children and young people, you should consider them as part of a long-term curriculum approach to wellbeing

As discussed, recognising powerful emotions such as anger, stress and anxiety in oneself and others is a step towards being able to regulate these emotions and lessen the risks of becoming overwhelmed by them.

Below is a simple activity that you might try to help children and young people begin to calm themselves when things feel overwhelming.