3.2 Verbal cues

Attuning yourself to your learners’ conversations about their mental health requires you to both listen and to facilitate the conversation by asking relevant questions. In general, open questions – that is questions that cannot be answered with just a ‘yes’ or ‘no’, or with a static response – are best utilised to stimulate a conversation. Conversations may be in person, or virtually if education is delivered online via email, forums and virtual rooms and/or platforms. Open questions provide opportunities for learners to tell you more about their mental health needs. On the other hand, closed questions usually only elicit a yes/no response and so are limited in their ability to kindle further information.

Take note of the closed questions as well as the open questions in the activity above. Closed questions are helpful when trying to clarify what you have heard from the learner is correct, and that it is the full story. This is called paraphrasing, which is a powerful method with the ability to improve the effectiveness of the communication. Paraphrasing is an active listening technique utilised to identify what is being said, agree with the learner, summarise the conversation and establish next steps which may include signposting to support and/or a referral for specialist support. In some situations, it may lead to a safeguarding referral which could otherwise have been missed through lack of information and/or recognition of the seriousness of a learner’s mental health. Educators should be informed of organisational safeguarding procedures in advance and able to act on them.

Throughout your conversations with your learners, it is helpful if you can communicate that you are listening and have heard what is being said. This can be achieved by providing short affirmations such as ‘I see’, ‘Go on’, ‘OK’, etc. It is also useful to observe learners’ vocal cues, and consider the appropriateness of their pitch, volume, speed and tone of voice. Emotions are communicated through changes to the voice and can be difficult to hide. At the end of any mental health conversation, thank the learner for disclosing and talking so openly and acknowledge that these conversations might be difficult for them.

Activity _unit4.4.3 Activity 5 Active listening

Timing: Allow about 5 minutes

Watch the following video on tips for active listening. The tips include being comfortable with silences. Reflect on times when you have felt compelled to fill gaps in conversations with learners. How might you make best use of silences which occur in future conversations?

Download this video clip.Video player: pmh_1_week3_active_listening.mp4

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Transcript

SPEAKER

When someone reaches out to you, you want to be able to support them and help them through whatever they’re facing. Listening well is a skill, so we’ve put together six tips on how to actively listen and help a friend going through a tough time.

Ask open questions. Instead of asking yes or no questions, try and keep them open ended. These are the how, what, where, who, and why questions. For example, instead of saying, has this been going on a long time? Ask, how long has this been going on?

Summarise. Summarise what they’ve said and say it back to them. This helps to show the person that you’ve been listening and that you understand their situation.

Reflect. Repeating back a word or a phrase can encourage people to go on and expand their thoughts. If someone says, it’s been really difficult recently, you can keep the conversation going by simply repeating a word they used in their sentence. This really helps people to open up.

Clarify. Sometimes a friend can gloss over an important point. Saying something as simple as tell me more about that can not only clarify the point for you, but for them as well.

Give words of encouragement. It sounds obvious, but a go on or I see can really give much needed encouragement and help the person to continue talking. Don’t feel the need to fill the silences in a conversation though as quiet moments are good and give the person time to think about their feelings or what they’d like to say next.

React. You don’t have to be completely neutral. If whoever you’re talking to has been having a dreadful time, simply acknowledging this as important. Don’t be afraid to say, you’ve had an awful time. You need to show that you’ve understood the situation by reacting to it.

There are times when your friend or loved one may need to seek help urgently. If they are at risk of harming themselves or feel that they may act on suicidal thoughts they are experiencing, it’s important that you help them seek medical attention as soon as possible. You can accompany them to any hospital or A&E department, or ring 999 or 112 for emergency services. You can read our fact sheet on suicide here to get more information.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

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Discussion

Actively listening, and allowing for silences, can facilitate difficult conversations and allow the learner to express difficult experiences, thoughts and feelings.