How often do you say no to a request at work? How often do you wish you’d said no to a request at work? There are lots of good reasons to turn down a task – perhaps you don’t have the time for it, or you know it’s not part of your skill set. You want to look after your work-life balance. You might even be worried about what your colleagues will think – are you ‘that person’ who always steps forward to take something on? On the other hand, you don’t want to appear as if you’re not up to the job, or not enough of a team-player, by always turning things down. How can you refuse a request without causing offence? If you say no to something, will that give your colleagues or managers reason to doubt your abilities and team spirit? In this article, we’re going to look at a few different ways we can choose our words carefully to set boundaries when we offer – or refuse – to do something. 

Let’s explore some real-world examples of how to say no professionally and constructively. 

Fauci’s constructive refusal 

In the early weeks of the COVID-19 pandemic, Dr Anthony Fauci, an American immunologist who was one of the lead members of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, received countless requests for his time. Here’s an example of how he managed expectations while maintaining his professional relationships:  

Email 1:  

From: Paul Stoffel 

Sent: February 13, 2020 

To: Anthony Fauci 

Subject: COVID-19 vaccine development 

Dear Tony 

Four weeks ago our team kicked off the experimental work on the development of a COVID-19 vaccine. [redacted material] If you have time for a meeting on the 21st in the afternoon or a call in the course of the next 10 days, I would very much appreciate. Feel free to call me or have your assistant connect with my assistant to set up a call. I will be in Europe till the 19th.  

Best regards, 

Paul  

Email 2: 

From: Anthony Fauci  

Sent: February 13, 2020 

To: Paul Stoffel 

Subject: RE: COVID-19 vaccine development 

Paul: 

Thanks for the note. I will have Patty Conrad try to work something out for Feb 21st. My schedule is at the mercy of the White House and the Congress and so I cannot guarantee anything right now.  

Best regards, 

Tony  

What do you think of Fauci’s response? Would you feel optimistic about the chances of a call happening, if you were Paul Stoffel? Fauci is being realistic about his availability, by explaining that US governmental bodies have priority claims on his schedule (quite understandably!). By providing an explanation for his lack of agreement, he makes it easier for the other person to understand why they are being turned down. At the same time, he shows willingness to make it work by explicitly stating he will pass the scheduling task on to his assistant. This shows Paul Stoffel that Fauci values their professional relationship, and is saying ‘not right now’ rather than ‘not at all’.  

A corporate example of saying no with professionalism

Most of us are not a world-leading medical researcher fielding requests from all sides during a global pandemic! But the key principles behind a constructive refusal that we’ve seen in the email exchange above can be applied in any professional situation. Here’s a less high-stakes example from the Enron Corporation Email Database, sent from one senior employee to another. 

Date: Mon, 1 Oct 2001  

From: ben.jacoby@enron.com 

To: louise.kitchen@enron.com 

Subject: Re: Tomorrow's Origination Meeting 

Louise: