This is a personal story of how I experienced neurodivergence and menopause coming together. Our hormones are part of a wider endocrine system. Around my mid-forties, I was a successful senior manager in mental health social work and then in charities across adult services. I also taught for The Open University and delighted in the variety of my work, which included teaching, practice tutor roles and delivering residential schools, which were large, a real thrill and great fun.

Gradually, despite enjoying my various work roles, I began to be a bit more worried about everything, doubting myself and feeling muddly. I was overly anxious about any type of judgement including normal feedbacks after trainings etc. I started to avoid things that I newly found stressful, despite my previous competence. It led me to change my roles and activities, and eventually look for less responsibility. This when I was actually at the height of my professional experience, competence and wisdom.

Once I realised, after a few years of this, that I was probably in the menopause transition, I noticed an increase in symptoms including palpitations, disturbed sleep, memory issues and brain fog. Sensory overwhelm accompanied by extreme exhaustion significantly impacted my functioning at work and little support was available. At the time I was in a new role in local authority children’s services requiring many computer systems, each with encryption and multiple passwords. I was also in a large and very noisy open-plan office where interruptions and noise overload were highly impactful in a negative way. It was very challenging. It should not have to be this way.

Changes in our hormones affect many aspects of our lives including cognitive function. Although I previously did not think of myself as neurodivergent, coming across the information that has become more available in recent years has led me to reinterpret early experiences that were my wondrous neurodivergent self in action. I realised that I fit a lot of the patterns. I had previously thought of these as personal failings but the great writing and resources that are now out there have been really liberating for me, in terms of how I view myself and the parts of me that may both be enjoyed or alarm others at times, such as maverick humour, or startlingly insightful connections and overviews. I also see how these traits enabled me to be a successful social entrepreneur alongside my other work, and to take on lots of exciting projects, until menopause destabilised my normal coping strategies.

Getting help with my hormones to get these to the right levels for me to feel well has taken a lot of time and pushing for good information. The cognitive difficulties that had thrown all my previous management of self up in the air were then managed. However, another factor that happens to a lot of us around this age is the need to take on caring roles. The stress involved in caring in fragmented, not very integrated health and social care services can make bodies release the hormone cortisol. This in turn can lower oestrogen levels. I felt myself right back in the perimenopause cognitive overwhelm. Lifestyle, medical and nutritional changes, in combination with getting as much help as I could find with the caring role, have supported me in finding a pathway through to wellbeing again.

I hope that it helps someone going through this to consider perhaps they have had an element of neurodivergence in their past which they had previously managed but now need more support with. The road to access to work can be slow but is potentially available to us. And medical and lifestyle help can assist us in finding life bearable again. There are many knowledgeable resources and groups out there. Researching your needs takes time. We need to bring this to the fore in our lives so we can find the new practices and resources to help ourselves, or our loved ones.