8 A better experience of listening?

A better experience of the same scenario plays out in the next video. This is an opportunity to see how the situation has a completely different complexion largely caused by the listener reflecting back what they have heard and allowing the other person to determine where the conversation goes.

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Transcript

WOMAN

So as we discussed previously, I'm at a career crossroads now, and I really need to think about what direction to go in. I can stay where I am now and just progress in that area of project management. Or I can start to do something quite different, actually, which is to lead the people of a team and eventually have my own team, which is something that I find myself being more interested in lately.

MAN

So it sounds like you've done quite a bit of thinking on this. And you've got a bit of clarity about the options. And it sounds at this stage as if you're beginning to favour the people management option.

WOMAN

I think I am. I do favour that in that I find it exciting, the thought of a new challenge. I do know, though, that I don't have the requisite qualifications. And also, I am a bit worried that my manager might think that, I don't know, I've got delusions of grandeur or something by thinking I can have my own team already.

MAN

So if I'm going to to check my understanding of that, it sounds, on the one hand, that you have that excitement, and that you're relishing a bit of a challenge. But I think I also heard maybe an assumption that you might be making that says something like maybe you are not sufficiently qualified at this stage.

WOMAN

That's right. Yes. Yes, I think you're right. Am I being too ambitious? Will my manager think that I am- I don't know- deluding myself that I'm capable of this? I do think that I am good with people, though, and I have managed projects with people on them. And I have enjoyed it, and I have had good feedback.

MAN

So you're questioning yourself a bit about this, by the sound of it. And you're also concerned a little about what your manager, in particular, might be thinking about you.

WOMAN

Yes.

MAN

But I keep hearing your enthusiasm. And I can hear it in your voice, actually.

WOMAN

Really?

MAN

I can hear your enthusiasm for people and managing people.

WOMAN

Yes. In my heart, I know that that is what I want to do.

MAN

In your heart?

WOMAN

Yes. I do want to do that. And I've been thinking about it for some time, and I've kept putting it off. But it's interesting you say that I look enthusiastic, because I do genuinely feel very keen to do that.

MAN

Yeah. Your voice had more energy, and your face had more animation when you're talking about it. It came through.

WOMAN

Yes. I just need to figure out what the next steps are, really, and to feel more confident that it's not a silly thing to pursue.

MAN

OK. So bottom line here, in terms of what we seem to be talking about, is be confident you're making the right decision for yourself, and then thinking through what the plan is to go there.

WOMAN

Absolutely. That is what I need to do, and not to worry so much about what other people think about that decision.

MAN

So as part of our conversation, I guess it's about thinking about how you could be confident and not worry about what other people think.

WOMAN

I think that's exactly it.

End transcript

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Workplace interactions like this, in which there is a genuine attempt to listen to and support colleagues, are the basis for authentic relationships in the workplace.

A summary of the key aspects of active listening appears in Figure 5 below. Click on each heading to reveal the summaries.

Notice how minimal verbal encouragement is referred to in this summary and it is the role of this conversational encouragements that you will explore in the next session.