Not an easy outcome

So it wasn’t an easy outcome then?

No. We did agree a date to discuss it all further but Michelle wasn’t particularly happy.

I have to say, I do see her point of view.

So do I. But staying neutral is key to successfully facilitating a group like this. But going back to our three-part discussion, our final role is to help the group end the session and move on to the next stage.

This is the bit I find the hardest, getting them to commit to doing something so that their goals become a reality.

It can be especially difficult if there’s been a disagreement during the meeting. What we have to do is to encourage them to stop and take stock of where they are now and where they wanted to be before the beginning of the meeting. Once they see that gap, they can work out how they want to address it and whether they want to work as a group or individually to achieve their goals.

But how do we help them with that?

Mainly by summarising what’s happened during the session and not being over-prescriptive about the outcomes. It can be easy sometimes for us to stand outside of a dilemma and see a way through, but they have to find it for themselves. They mustn’t feel like they’ve been forced to make a decision, rather encouraged to think about the implications of what they decide to do – or not do – for themselves.

What they don’t do?

They may decide that the best action is to actually do nothing. The important thing is that they take responsibility for whatever they decide and work together to make the things happen that need to.

But what if they find their position is miles away from where they set their goals? How do we get them back on track?

By asking them again what they want and what they need, and by getting them to think about other possibilities other than the issues they are getting stuck on. Getting them to think about different futures and finding incentives to move them forward.

Yeah, but there’s never enough time though.

I know. Time is always short. It’s good to remind them when there’s five or ten minutes before the end of a meeting, to make sure that everybody has had said their say and asked the questions that they want answers to. At this stage, it’s also really good to be positive and acknowledge what they have achieved.

Yeah. I suppose the hardest thing though is the feeling of failure if you don’t get them to some sort of conclusion. What if they don’t achieve anything?

Well, maybe their goals are just too stretching and they need to reconsider what it is they want to achieve from the discussion and find more appropriate and realistic goals.

Yeah. You’re right. Look, thanks Lisa, I feel better about giving it another go now.