5.2.1 GROW: Goals

Part A

Listen to the following short audio recording on building rapport.

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Transcript: Building rapport

Rapport building is an essential part of the coaching toolkit. Good rapport creates good coaching, and the relationship in coaching is all important, and is down to the coach to set the tone and create a relationship with the client that promotes trust, respect, and confidence. This begins with providing a correct environment for coaching, which needs to be comfortable, private and conducive to a conversation. But at the heart of rapport is the management of body language, and this is where the coach has a responsibility to help the client to feel comfortable and confident in the relationship.

Essentially, the coach needs to tune into the body language of the client. This means paying attention to things like posture, gesture and facial expression. The coach also needs to be aware of how their voice is matching the voice of the client, and we need to pay attention to tone and volume. One other aspect of building rapport is to pay attention to energy, pace and mood. For example, if a client is slow paced, the coach may need to slow their pace to match that of the client.

One additional benefit of paying attention to rapport is it helps the process of listening. By tuning into the client, the coach puts their attention on the client, which helps the listening process to begin.

End transcript: Building rapport

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Building rapport

Now watch the video below for an example of how a coach attempts to build trust and rapport at the beginning of the coaching session. Notice the ways in which the coach tries to put the coachee at ease before starting to progress on to the objective of the session.

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Transcript: How to build trust and rapport at the beginning of a coaching session

NARRATOR

In this example of good rapport, keep an eye out for matching behaviours. So, for example, look out for postural matching, gestural matching, and matching facial expressions. Also, listen out for vocal matching around volume and tone. Finally, keep an eye out for matches of energy and pace.

COACH

Hello, there, Tim. How are you?

CLIENT [COACHEE]

Yeah, very well, thanks.

COACH

Good.

CLIENT

Thanks for giving this time.

COACH

Not a problem at all. Take a seat.

CLIENT

OK.

COACH

So what would you like to focus on today?

CLIENT

So I’ve got so much going on at the moment. Work is just fantastically busy. And I’m struggling actually to keep on top of it all and to keep my priorities straight. I’m loving it, but I’m a bit scared it’s going to be too much.

COACH

OK. So it’s fantastically busy at the moment. You’re struggling a little bit, and you’re just worried that you’re going to keep on top of it. So what would you like to focus on in our session?

CLIENT

Yeah, so the focus for the session – it would be good to see which bits I need to prioritise on, because, as I say, it’s just so busy. And at the moment, I’m keeping on top of it, but I don’t think my energy will last much longer. If I’m completely honest with you, I’m feeling a bit tired.

COACH

OK. So you’re worried that your energy might not last at the moment. You’re feeling tired.

CLIENT

Yeah.

COACH

So tell me what’s going on at the moment.

CLIENT

So at the moment, as you know, I took on a new leadership role recently, and that’s testing me. I was told I was lucky because I got to keep some of my old responsibilities as well. But it means that I feel like I’m being dragged from here to here continuously, and it’s wearing.

COACH

So when you say you’ve been told that you’ve been lucky, and you raised your eyebrows and you shook your head to one side, what does that mean?

CLIENT

Well, I think that I’m not sure how lucky I am, to be honest. As I say, I do feel quite tired and quite stretched, quite exhilarated, but I’m going to have to focus quite tightly soon, or else my energy will dissipate.

COACH

OK.

CLIENT

Yeah.

End transcript: How to build trust and rapport at the beginning of a coaching session

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How to build trust and rapport at the beginning of a coaching session

You will now have an opportunity to watch experienced coaches probing more closely and setting goals with their clients. This is a crucial first step and part of the ‘contracting’ process of setting a clear direction and purpose for the dialogue.

Part A

Watch this series of five short videos showing coaches setting goals with coachees. Sometimes it is difficult for both parties to get to the heart of the issue, so pay attention – and make notes – on how the coach uses language and questions to try to draw out the coachee’s ‘real’ objective each time.

Download this video clip.Video player: Good practice in setting workable goals

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Transcript: Good practice in setting workable goals

NARRATOR

In this video showing good practise in goal-setting, we see a coach dealing effectively with a goal that threatens to be too big.

COACH

So, Tim, we've got a fairly short session today. What is it that you'd like to discuss?

CLIENT [COACHEE]

So what I'd like to do today, Phil, is to cover off what I'm going to do in the next 20 years of my career to get me to where I need to be.

COACH

You want to cover what you want to do in the next 20 years?

CLIENT

Yeah.

COACH

So that sounds like quite a big subject, Tim. What specifically do you want to cover today?

CLIENT

Yeah. So it is quite a big subject, and it is on my mind. And I need to get clear. I don't seem to have a clear idea of where I'm going.

COACH

OK. So you're looking for clarity.

CLIENT

Yeah.

COACH

So if we were to look at what you want to take away from this session, what's the must takeaway for you?

CLIENT

I guess the must takeway for me is what's my next move.

COACH

What's your next move.

CLIENT

What's my next move.

COACH

So if we were to focus on not necessarily the whole 20 years but the next move, how would that be?

CLIENT

Yeah. Yeah. That would be good. I mean, I'm happy enough where I am at the moment. I'm still feeling quite challenged. And I need to know what's next.

COACH

OK. You need to know what's next. Can you just summarise for me what you specifically need to take from the session?

CLIENT

So specifically what I want to take away is what's my next move.

COACH

OK. So just looking for the next move.

CLIENT

Exactly. And it could be a year down the line, but what am I aiming at?

COACH

OK. And what are you aiming at for the next move.

CLIENT

Exactly. Exactly,

COACH

Great.

End transcript: Good practice in setting workable goals

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Good practice in setting workable goals

Download this video clip.Video player: Good practice when goals threaten to be too vague

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Transcript: Good practice when goals threaten to be too vague

NARRATOR

Here's an example of good practice in goal setting, where we see a coach dealing effectively with a goal that threatens to be too vague.

COACH

Hello, Tim. So we've got a relatively short session today. What is it you want to get from the session?

CLIENT [COACHEE]

Well, I've been feeling generally dissatisfied recently. I don't quite know what it is, but I need to get more satisfaction at work.

COACH

OK. So you're feeling vaguely dissatisfied.

CLIENT

Exactly, yeah. Yeah.

COACH

So that's quite a vague subject actually. I'm just wondering if we can get a bit more specific, what is it that you want to look at?

CLIENT

I guess it's to identify what's missing.

COACH

Identify what's missing?

CLIENT

Yeah, identify what's missing at the moment, because my role hasn't necessarily changed recently. And I've been very happy in that role generally, but something's not quite right.

COACH

Something's not quite right.

CLIENT

Exactly.

COACH

So if we were to get really goal-focused for this session, what is it you'd want to be taking away?

CLIENT

Well, what I would like to know is, what is it? What is it that's missing, and therefore, what can I do to become more satisfied in my role again?

COACH

OK. So as I hear it, what we're trying to do is look at what might be missing and causing you dissatisfaction, and identify a step towards getting what you want.

CLIENT

Exactly, yeah. Exactly.

COACH

So if you just summarise that back for me – exactly what you want to take away.

CLIENT

Yeah, so what I'd like to do is take a look at things, understand what it is that's maybe missing at the moment, and get a clear step towards getting it back.

CLIENT

OK. So that's what we're going to do – look at what's missing and look at the next step to get it back.

COACH

Exactly. Exactly.

End transcript: Good practice when goals threaten to be too vague

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Good practice when goals threaten to be too vague

Download this video clip.Video player: Good practice in prioritising goals

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Transcript: Good practice in prioritising goals

NARRATOR

Here's an example of good practice in goal setting where we see a coach dealing effectively with a goal that is multiple.

COACH

So, Tim, we've got a relatively short session today. What is it you'd like to focus on?

CLIENT [COACHEE]

Yeah. So today – I've actually got a meeting tomorrow that I'm chairing, and I'm a bit nervous about that.

COACH

OK.

CLIENT

So I'd like to cover that off. I'd also like to work on – I've got like a project that's coming up that I'm starting in the next couple of weeks, and I'd like to look how best I can make that happen, really. And at the same time, I'm just feeling a bit demotivated at the moment.

COACH

Right. So there's maybe three things, potentially, you'd like to cover.

CLIENT

Yeah.

COACH

Given the time we have, Tim, we may have to prioritise a little bit. So if you were to identify a priority for today, what would it be?

CLIENT

So I guess if I had to choose one of those, this meeting that's tomorrow. I mean, that's the most pressing.

COACH

That's the most pressing.

CLIENT

Yeah.

COACH

So perhaps we should focus on that first.

CLIENT

Yeah.

COACH

And what do you need to take away from the conversation to help you with this meeting?

CLIENT

So there are a couple of people who are going to be in this meeting tomorrow who, to be honest, they intimidate me a little bit.

COACH

Right. OK.

CLIENT

So I'd really – and I'm a bit worried about that. I'd like to be confident in this meeting. I have to chair it.

COACH

OK. So it sounds like we're looking at you feeling prepared and confident in chairing the meeting tomorrow.

CLIENT

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. That's what I'd like. I'd like to walk in there, be confident, do a good job, and then get out.

COACH

OK. So our goal for this is to help you to feel confident and prepared for tomorrow's meeting.

CLIENT

Exactly.

COACH

OK.

CLIENT

Yeah.

End transcript: Good practice in prioritising goals

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Good practice in prioritising goals

Download this video clip.Video player: Good practice when a goal is about someone else other than the client in the room

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Transcript: Good practice when a goal is about someone else other than the client in the room

NARRATOR

In this video, showing good practice in goal setting, we see the coach dealing effectively with a goal that's about somebody else other than the client in the room.

COACH

Tim, so we have a relatively short session today. And I'm wondering what it is that you'd like to focus on.

CLIENT [COACHEE]

Well, what I want to focus on really is the relationship I've got with my team leader at the moment. Their delegation skills are atrocious, and they really need to sort it out because I've had enough.

COACH

OK.

CLIENT

And other people have as well. So it's not just me.

COACH

So I sense the frustration about this team leader.

CLIENT

Yeah.

COACH

Just to be really, really clear, we can't coach the team leader. I can coach you. So what is it you need to take away in relation to this team leader?

CLIENT

Well, it's a shame you can't coach them. I need to know what I'm going to do next.

COACH

You need to know what you're going to do next?

CLIENT

Yeah, in relation to this.

COACH

OK.

CLIENT

Because I've had a conversation with them, and it doesn't seem to be getting anywhere.

COACH

OK. So you've tried some things, but they haven't worked.

CLIENT

Yeah.

COACH

So let's get right down to the nitty-gritty. What is it you specifically must take away from this conversation?

CLIENT

So specifically, what I'd like to take away is, what am I going to do about this? What am I going to say to my team leader and when I'm going to say it?

COACH

OK. So it sounds like – if I may just interpret that – that we're looking for a plan about what you're going to say, how you're going to say it, and when you're going to say it.

CLIENT

Yeah, exactly.

COACH

How does that sound?

CLIENT

Yeah, it sounds good. And to be honest, I need to know how I'm going to say it as well because any feedback I give to them is generally not well received.

COACH

All right. So we're looking for what you're going to say and how you're going to say it.

CLIENT

Exactly, yeah. Exactly.

End transcript: Good practice when a goal is about someone else other than the client in the room

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Good practice when a goal is about someone else other than the client in the room

Download this video clip.Video player: Good practice in setting positive rather than negative goals

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Transcript: Good practice in setting positive rather than negative goals

NARRATOR

In this video showing good practice in goal setting, we see a coach dealing effectively with a goal that is negative.

COACH

Tim, so we've got a relatively short session today, and I'm wondering what it is you'd like to focus on.

CLIENT [COACHEE]

So what I'd like to focus on is, I need to stop arguing with a colleague in my team.

COACH

OK. You want to stop arguing with a colleague.

CLIENT

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

COACH

So if we were to focus on what you want instead of arguing, what would that be?

CLIENT

Mm. Well, what I'd like is to have a good working relationship with that colleague.

COACH

OK.

CLIENT

We used to have a pretty good working relationship, so I'd like to have that with them.

COACH

So we're focusing on improving or getting to a good working relationship with your colleague.

CLIENT

Exactly.

COACH

And what does that mean you need to get from the session specifically?

CLIENT

So, for whatever reasons, we've got to a point where we're no longer communicating properly. And everything I seem to say to them, they've taken the wrong way, and I think, maybe, vice versa.

COACH

OK.

CLIENT

So what can I do to reverse that?

COACH

So it sounds like you're aware that the things that you've tried so far haven't been particularly successful.

CLIENT

Yeah.

COACH

And now you're looking to find ways of improving and reversing that trend in the relationship.

CLIENT

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

COACH

So if you got really specific, Tim, what do you need to take away?

CLIENT

So what I need to understand is – I want to broach it with them, and it's how am I going to do that.

COACH

OK. So we're really looking, in this part of the coaching anyway, at how you're going to broach this with them and how you handle it.

CLIENT

Exactly. Yeah. What do I say to them?

COACH

What do I say to them?

CLIENT

Yeah.

COACH

OK.

End transcript: Good practice in setting positive rather than negative goals

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Good practice in setting positive rather than negative goals