5 An introduction to coaching in practice

In this section we provide an introduction to professional coaching skills, with a focus on practical approaches and techniques.

Watch the video below, in which our panel of HRD experts – all experienced coaches – talk about what they believe are the features of successful coaching and what they look for in a coach in terms of skills and behaviours.

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MARIANO TUFRO

A good coach is somebody that can truly, truly, truly listen to the other person at various levels. Not just using active listening, or paying conscious attention to what you're saying right now, but also sensing the things you're not telling me, the emotional undertone of the conversation, your tone of voice, the words you're using, your body, and that way, really get to the bottom of what's going on. And that's not just about building rapport or appear that way about empathy. It's also so then you can ask the right questions to help the person uncover the real issues that are behind what they're saying, Because the presenting issue is not always the real issue.

ALMUTH MCDOWALL

In terms of any particular theoretical orientation that you might bring to it, whether it's more cognitive behavioural style, but you're kind of thinking about changing people's gremlins in their head. Or whether it's a very humanistic approach with unconditional positive regard, over to you, anything goes. There the evidence actually would show us basically what it boils down to is having a quality relationship. It kind of really doesn't matter all that much what your theoretical orientation is.

So you need to be able to build and hold a really good relationship, and do that really within an ethical and a professional framework. So you need to know what is it that we can hold within this coaching relationship? Or might there be issues in the coachee, for instance, that I've spotted where I think, actually, that is an issue, whether it's a mental health issue, or a real deep underlying confidence issue, where you think, actually no, that is something that requires specialist input that needs to sit outside the coaching relationship. So you also have to have this ethicality about referring people on as and when needed, and adhering to professional standards.

JEREMY HOWELL

In my experience, what I think makes a good coach is someone who's able to build a rapport with the person they're coaching and also trust. So I've had a number of different experiences of coaching, whereby sometimes as someone who's receiving the coaching, it's felt quite clunky. So I can almost see someone going through the models in their mind. Perhaps they're newer to it, or using a particular approach. And I didn't quite think they were coming from my perspective. I'm going through a process, and it feels like I'm very much going through a process.

I think a really great coach doesn't make you feel like you're going through a process and is quite agile in the way they are with you. And what I mean by agile is the fact that they're getting a sense of you, and you're in a relationship together working at about what's right.

ALMUTH MCDOWALL

I've had situations when the coaching was commissioned, but the coachee didn't really want to be there. So it was something that was kind of put upon them because it was part of a generic leadership development programme. And they were kind of, yeah, OK, I'm here now, but I don't really want to be here. And that's a hard thing to be faced with as a coach because you've prepared. You're good and ready to go. You think, right, OK, we're really going to make this work.

So you have to learn how to, in a sense, hold your emotions inside you, and in a sense, almost use that resistance that you're encountering in a really positive way. And perhaps bring it out there into the room and make it quite open. Say, do you know what? I'm picking up some signals from you, actually. On a scale from, I don't know, 0 to 10, what is your point on that scale? How much do you really want to be here?

ERICA LEVY

I think also that it's about actually ensuring at the start of the coaching process that the coachee is clear about the fact that you're not actually instructing them on how to go about something. You're there to provide a guide, guidance, rather. And that above all, that there should be a time frame within which you operate, so that the coachee is aware that the coaching sessions will not be lasting years. There'll be a specific time frame, and that confidentiality is maintained. And even a coaching agreement is signed. And my experience, actually bodes well for that coaching relationship.

LEAH TOMKINS:

I think being a coach is a very difficult thing, because being a good coach, I think, involves encouraging the person you're coaching to make their own decisions, rather than telling them what you yourself would do in their position. So I think a good coach is someone who can listen, sit back, and try and enable the coachee's development, but without actually giving them instructions or directions about how they think they should operate.

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The HRD professionals highlight the following key areas of coaching behaviours and skills:

• understanding resistance to coaching – a coach may need to prepare for that and consider how that resistance could be used as part of the discussion
• the use of good judgement on when to offer instruction, or to simply guide the coachee
• sensing the learner’s emotions towards the process, through active listening and awareness
• enabling the learner to find their own answers – this is preferable to offering instruction or being directive
• building trust and rapport as the relationship is the key feature of successful coaching.

The remaining sections will present a brief introduction to professional coaching skills, with a focus on practical aspects, such as planning the session, delivering the sessions, and some of the basic skills involved.